Black Velvet Sugar

BLACK VELVET SUGAR

The soft moss swimming;
It is the dying spirit.
Desiring, I hide.
Pink shore, serene breeze.
The flat, upright sparkle shines.
Lost moon, velvet spirit.
Walk, swim. Drown
With blunt leaves
Wither, decline. With sharp flames
Write, fade: fluttering.
Purple, tender, falling,
Your eyes sits in wait
A mermaid arises,
Declining, shining.
shines on
Forever
And Forever Shines on

-Kyoko Cole

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Sepia-Tone Dusk in an Angels Garden On a Day Like Today #2

Sepia-Tone Dusk in an Angels Garden On a Day Like Today

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The soft moss swimming;
It is the dying spirit.
Desiring, I hide.

Pink shore, serene breeze.
The flat, upright sparkle shines.
Lost moon, velvet spirit.

Walk, swim. With blunt leaves
Wither, decline. With sharp flames
Write, fade: fluttering.
Purple, tender, falling,
Your eyes sits. A mermaid arises,
Declining, shining, I fall

deep within and go far away…

-kyoko cole 2013-

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Do something before it’s too late and it’s all gone

You should do something quick before you can’t do anything at all

Get weird
Pull away
Hate your face
Make space
In Between
Love love love
To run away
Come again some other day
Close your eyes
Count to ten
You can’t give up
Till I say when
Fight or flight
Hide and seek
Wasted hours
Become – Wasted weak
Another night
To bark and bite
attack And run
Waving goodbye
With a loaded gun
As I leave again
I Lose again
Miss me much?
Much more a mess
You Miss me less and less
But I’m not here
And You are not there
this time it goes
Gone somewhere
It doesn’t come back
It doesn’t care
The Back and forth
Is all we do
I Run
Circles Round
The spinning you
This time it doesn’t dwell
Over the spell
Nothing to miss
I think we fell
In and out
And
In and
out
Both out Of love
For good

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I’m not ready

As much as I’d like to skip this part
And jump directly to a step beyond
I can’t
I’m not there
I’m here
And no matter how hard I try
I can’t be there
Without being here Now
And the only way to move on
Is to move on through it

Theres no going around it

And I am still in the thick of it

I am not there
Yet
I am not where
I want to be
Yet
I’m not ready…
And I am ok with that

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And it doesn’t really matter anymore

Not really sure how to feel about it
I guess there’s nothing to feel at all now
Except the feeling that comes from
The feelings that have gone
To have something that doesn’t exist anymore
To have someone who doesn’t exist
Any more
Any less
Would be no memory
Of any kind
No thought or memory left behind
Soon
That day will come Soon enough
I don’t care much about the thought
Of it
When the feeling is dead
And the feelings I have Now
Are no longer attached to you
Don’t really care
About everything you said
That I can’t remember
But I remember every love
That made me feel
Loved
And made me feel Something more
And left a mark on my life and ❤
That was not you

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Early Sunday morning 6:28am

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It’s better next to someone else

Sex
Kisses
Beds
Pillows
Rooms
Conversation
Love
Nights
Spent with another
Is so much better
Than any night
I Ever spent with you
Under covers
Under lovers
Under and over
Bodies
limbs
Tangled up
And wrapped up in
Each other
The feel
Of
Electric skin
We begin
As we fall
And as we sleep
Together we keep
Each other Close
Closer than I ever felt with you
Everything is better
Without you making it worse
All you fake
And
All you make up to save face
Doesn’t mean anything
Cause the real problem is you. And you don’t know you
You make the crazy come out of anyone who gets too close.

Love is loving
And life is loving again

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Big men don’t piss on little trees

It wouldn’t be the bottom
Without you
With you means to be without
You wear your mask of merriment
Disguise yourself with booze,
Hard drugs and false good humor
Though your heart feels like a tumor
Reality only appears to recede
Before and after
Therapist
The rapist
Man’s laughter
Manslaughter
Casual ties
Casualties
Nothing left
You practice human relations
Spend full happy hours in empty sensation
Only Drifting around…
If You only feel it –
When your words are slurred
If your only vision-
is a vision blurred
You should find some hope
And get off the dope
I am constructing our love
Out of moments of sanity.
You have No shame
Playing your game
Even if signs of enjoyment are often faked
This scene is a scene
Your belief in salvation
Is the delusion
You can’t lose every battle with yourself
And still win the war
It doesn’t matter
You will wait
For the better day
With a more sober you
to come around
You could wait forever …
(You’ve got drugs)

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The last thing

Before I let you go
I loved you
It made me so happy when you loved me back
And wanted to be with me
And I could feel your love
And it broke my heart
To lose you
This way
It breaks my heart right now
To see
How you are living happy
So quickly moving on
Without me
And the part that kills me
Is how you just ignore me
Like I don’t matter
You were so special to me
And all I ever wanted was your Love and understanding
And to just treat me good
And love me
The way I Love you
It’s the hardest
thing
The worst feeling
I’ve ever felt

And so that is it
I guess I thought I was Someone special to you cause you made me feel it and I loved that so much
It made me love you even more
But now to not have it or see it
Shows me I’m not very special to you at all

It hurts and I need to stop thinking of you as someone special
Now
And move on
So this is the last time I will write about
You
And this the last of you
I will hold on to
Goodbye my love
(Wherever you are )

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You can hold on but I wouldn’t waste your time

I fell with the first leaves of fall.
Broken fragile
Crushed down to less with every step
Of everyone walking over me
No one could see me down there
Still barely alive not living
Turning breaking
disintegrating into dust
I couldn’t see me anymore
I faded into you
Until there was nothing left of myself
That’s when you left me
Down in the darkness alone
In the hole
I helped you crawl out of.
Now you’re on top
And I’m slowly dying
Slowly trying
To see
Or find
My way ( a way… Any way)
OUT
is there any?
I don’t know
Right now
I’m a broken girl
With a Broken heart
Broken by
Loving you

-kyoko cole
November
2014

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Head through a wall


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Rhapsodies in black
reality in the lowest rank
“Just love me” she said
Not
Ever

 

he was a man full of junk
dead love
wasted drunk

 

but the Static
Clinging on
Sticking to
Stuck
yuck
sucks
The living life
Right out of you
Everything happens at once
or happens for a reason
they say
who said what?
who is they? and how would they know me?
Discontents
The contents
Inside
Spilling
Outside
spills over
and 10 times 
Removed
The voice and void
the Twisted twister
Dissonant
And distant
mister
you
mister who?
you i never knew

Building
Walls
Built to last?
more like
Built to destroy

Wedged Between
The good, the bad and the ugly
Misunderstood
Misreadings
everything
I see / you mean
a
Identity crisis

Stamp of impulse
take 3 steps away then
Draw
 it’s gone
Before it hits the floor
Poet assassinated
Strange attractors hover
Hiding in the many
ever more

Cats in bags
Dread
Taming the gremlin
Blurred emotions
 seek out
Mail order monsters
 that arrive at your door

Mouth
it
out
it enters
With/without
an invitation
with / without a sound
the Devil on the stairs
is what you have found
no clear
Points of entry
only old joy
burns
but never
returns
Bad girls and and sick boys
Never odd or even
the dead

never grow old

under a Full moon
it lingers
the sight and sounds
Dead Elvis
Unplugged

the last days
of the ninth life

is it becoming real now?
what is
is now real gone.