Ever ever


It’s not my time or maybe it’s exactly that

I might have let it get to me
What I feel
What I see
What is what
What is not
I don’t know
What is real
i don’t know
much of what is
other than
what i feel
And what’s really to be
What you
do not
And what all is
left over
Rinsed out
the residue
Really has got a hold of me
For the time being
for now
Not forever
The hazy
of me
But nothing
ever sticks to you
All that is
or isn’t
ever true
with you
You can quickly cut
You can easily undo
as i struggle to make my way through

it all..
From a reaction
without any

What it is
what isn’t
and what it never was
and what it will never be
as anger grows
and confusion shows
only breeds
more negativity
and nothing more
out of  nothing less
with less and less humility
Tear down everything
Instead of build  up
now lost
we lose
No trying
to understand
No one
to hold my hand
lack of care
Lack of love
i ask for a miracle
or something more
from up above

i don’t know the name
it all starts to become the same

as everything before
until there is no more

we all lose ourselves out there somewhere
but where are you …???
and where am i???

20 years have gone by too soon
come back down
to this place
underneath the timeless moon

Nick nacks

All the things
I ever wanted to say
To anyone
I ever felt something for
Should all be published
In a book
You keep
On your coffee table




Father’s day
First day of summer
What a bummer
I wish u could understand  how I feel
But you can’t
You won’t
And you don’t want to even try
So I guess this is goodbye

Not your ex

Treat me like I am
But I’m not.
Treat me like I am
I don’t care.
And I won’t
And you
Do whatever you like
Say whatever you will.
Fill whatever you fill
Love somebody else
And I will do the same.
You don’t want to play this game
But you do
Everyone else
And I
Don’t care
As long as you are happy
I’m happy you are happy

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i love you

i love you

all of you

that i have ever known

ever met

and ever crossed paths with in some way shape or form

the good the bad and the everything

life is too short

sometimes too long

then too short

to forget

to let

pass us by

and a phone call at 3 am

to let me know  i was on your mind

makes me happy

makes me think

that this is all worth it

makes me think

that everyone is worth it

just because we are.

every single one of you

take away the fucked upness

take away the emotion and all the things that interfere  at the time

and remember we are all

just people

trying to get by and live

a life

i love every single one of yous 😉

and i’m happy to have this life

thank you and good night

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batman and me lol

In Venus,
In Venus, we are fighting,
With guns, and knives,
And clubs, and swords.
In Venus,
In Venus we are cryin’,
In Venus,
Batman and me.
We’re in Venus, in Venus,
Batman and me.

But I’m in so deep,
I’m such a fool for Batman,
Batman’s got me wrapped around a finger.
Do I have to answer the phone?
Do I have to, do I have to answer the phone?
Oh, I thought the world of james bond.
I thought nothing could go wrong.
But he was the devil’s child, but he was a fraud.

In Venus, in Venus,
Batman and me.
We’re’s in Venus, in Venus,
Batman and me.

Ah ha

Sometimes I’m am so fucking grateful
For everything I’ve had and known
And have and know
And so on and so forth
That it makes  my heart explode.
Thank you, life
And thanks world,
For letting me know goodness
And showing me love


I thought it would be fine
I thought i would be fine
But Saw you to tonight
And i…
Was anything but that
I froze
My knees got weak
My heart skipped a few beats
And I felt something
sick to my stomach
In a good way
If you can imagine that
I’ll keep it to myself
But I’m a goner
For now






i wonder why

you think i’m annoying or being dramatic

when i’m just reacting to something that YOU don’t understand

and i think it’s pretty funny (not haha) and lame

that you don’t see how you create a situation that just makes it worse

plus you’re not really there for me like someone who cares for me would be

and that’s enough to say

that’s not what i want

it’s not just me

it’s also you

who can make or break

a situation

why would i care about someone who does not show care for me?

i wouldn’t and i don’t – i just needed to express myself

and remember that people who are really cool and awesome and supportive and care

are the people i want around

at least i see

what works

and what doesn’t and i’m sure

you’ve been that way with others and that’s why it hasn’t worked for you

to me that’s more crazy than how girls are “crazy”

and it’s stupid

and i don’t want stupid people to do stupid things just because they can

on a better note

if this didn’t happen then the other day

then i wouldn’t have felt the way i felt and gone out when i went out

and then i wouldn’t have had that awesome thing happen

which did

and is like so much more awesome

than the situation with you

which would have been a waste of my time in the end – if this is what it’s like from the start

i cannot wait for tomorrow 😉