Two days later

Everything goes away so quickly here

Why the hell wouldn’t I doubt

What it is

You’re all about

Feels unsafe

After you made me feel secure

Now I’m left to feel unsure

It doesn’t make you think

It doesn’t make you care

Or maybe you just pretend

To be so unaware

So I stop


Of what we have ( had)

As more

Cause how would it feel

For me to ignore



Whatever you want

To do

And I’m just someone

You want around when it’s fun

But that is why

I need to be done

It’s not nice

It’s not love

It’s not putting in

Anything good

When you could

Maybe you should

Be the better one

If you’re so much better than me

But without real care

You wouldn’t even care

To see

And that hurts


To be ignored

to be ignored

By the person you truly love

Is the worst feeling in the world.

artwork by kyoko cole 2017

Christmas another year later

No reply



I never did anything to you

For you to treat me like you do

But it doesn’t mean anything to you

And it never will

You will always be out for the kill

Just to get your thrill

Off on the pain of someone else

And I still wish you a happy life

But I get nothing

No reply

No reason why

I deserve to be treated like shit

When all I’ve done is love you.

So I can’t love you anymore

I can’t treat you like someone when you treat me like no one

So I have to let you go

I accept you

I accept that you will never really love anyone

Cause you don’t really truly love yourself.

And I accept that you are unable to accept the love of others.

I accept that you will never love me

When I die

When I Die



If you walked in now

I wouldn’t start I wouldn’t frown

And if you just appeared

I wouldn’t cry or think it weird

‘Cause you are still around

You’re in the air, you’re in the ground

And you can’t go away

I am afraid you’re here to stay

Friends don’t understand

They close the door, they raise their hands

She says she heard your voice

Of course she does, she has no choice

I was hours ahead

When they removed you from your bed

They drank all the while

Until you said goodbye

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

I don’t look up, I don’t look down

I look ahead and make no sound

My love was there,

I only stare

Healty in my dreams

Is what you are, is what is seems

What does it all mean?

You’re only hiding behind a screen

Curse the English day

For what it forces us to say

Banish all the pain

‘Cause when I die, die

I’ll see you again.

Songwriters: Emma Victoria Jane Anderson

When I Die lyrics © BMG Rights Management US, LLC

The Stare-Borne

You brought truth in a dream

You told me the truth

In a dream last night

You showed me what I already had known was true

But to see you and her…

Right here

Right there

Made me aware

That I was never the one you really loved

You love her still and always will

And in my dream I felt my heart really break

I felt the child inside me ache

All I could do was cry

As I watched something I loved so much


And then I awoke

With the tears

But no more fears

Cause I knew it was you

Cause I knew it was true

And because I knew this time it really was our last goodbye.