Friends

Please don’t blame yourself

You are not bad

I want you to know that

From the bottom of my heart to

The deepest part of your soul

You are loved

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….

You make me so sad

You’ll see

What pain is

When you have to deal with someone like you

But I won’t be there

By your side.

Cause you were never really there for me..

Your presence was airways tainted with a hateful evil and cruelty

That I could never and will never understand

You like to break the people who love you

Down

To the fucked up hole

You came from

And your actions and words

Have done enough

This time

You have crossed the line

And I no longer have love for someone who is a predator like you

You have no love in your heart

You just take the good and make the bad

And leave

Like the coward you are

who cares if you can beat someone up

Or who cares how angry you can get

You’re still a fucking coward and a bully

You can’t deal with shit without drugs

Or hurting the ones closest to you

You came in this world alone

And you’ll die alone

And I hope you feel what you made me feel

Cause i did nothing to deserve the level of hate and anger you have thrown at me

My bad for putting up with it for so long.

You don’t deserve love.

You need to be treated like the ugly person you truly are

You need to have someone break your heart the way you love to break mine.

Ahhh but narcissists don’t feel

So I guess you’ll be fine

You should go away

You are the reason this world is a shitty place

Cause you don’t make it any better.

You suck the soul of of people who loved you

And then you think it’s everyone else

You’ll never get past this level.

Cause you have no love to give

You are a loser

And you just lost me for good.

Good riddance you ugly

Hateful little man.

You’re a lost cause

And no one will ever care as much as i did

And you just fucked that up

That’s all the time I have

Years ago

You had light

And you made me believe

In myself

You got me excited about what was possible

With my art

With many different ideas

With life

Fast forward to now

And it was all talk

You’re a flake

And a liar in some ways

I wouldn’t have to call you

When I’ve been waiting on you

For years now

To produce something that actually does something and gets somewhere

Regardless

You don’t take this or me seriously

All your talk talk talk

Was nothing more than a bunch of fluff

And frankly I’m better off doing it on my own

Or with someone who actually has the balls

To back it all up.

I’ve had a lot ofpatience for you to get out of your hole you’ve dug drugged yourself in

But your talk talk talk with no follow through

Has made me lose my patience

You’re not who I thought you were

Not anymore anyways.

And now he it is 4:30 pm

Almost time for me to bust my ass off at work

And I got nothing from you

I’m not saying a damn thing anymore

You should know better

But you just act like you don’t

Take a real good look at yourself

How could any person want to work with you when YOU REFUSE TO WORK AT ALL

Go waste someone else’s time getting wasted

You don’t learn

And you don’t see

i put trust in you

Believed your words

While you were just foolin’ me

This time it’s gonna take a lot more than your Bullshit words (that don’t mean much anymore cause you always say a lot of what you never do)

For you to convince me

To trust you

Grow up

Get a job

Get a life.

Stop talking

Unless you mean what you say

But I can’t waste my life away

waiting for you to come around some day

You don’t take what I love seriously

You dint even respect yourself

So don’t be a fake

Be the flake

That you have become

That is who you are now

Think

Young

Inconsiderate

And just plain stupid

It takes a lot

I’m spent

I’m tired

I feel like nothing I do

Matters

Or pays off

I try

And love

So much

But it does me no good

And that’s who i am

But it doesn’t matter much

To anyone else.

I wake up

I smile

I go into things

With the right kind of mind

But all I seem to find

Is the same things

That don’t care

About very much if at all about me.

I never felt protected

I never felt safe

And now

I even more alone

I just don’t know what to do

When I try to talk

To you

I just get ignored.

It gets old

And I don’t want to be

The person that it’s okay to just throw away

Anymore

I matter?

Maybe I don’t

I don’t.

Or I wouldn’t be

Here.

Right now

Feeling like who I am

Is not good enough

To love

Or to nurture.

I wish

I meant something more

To you

Sing birds sing birds sing birds sing Get away

3am sounds

Of Birds and coyotes

I wish I could speak to them

I wish I could speak to you

Get through to you

But I’m starting to see

That’s never going to happen

I’ll probably make more progress with the birds and coyotes

And him

As he sits next to me on the patio

We listen to music

And talk

Like the coyotes and birds do