Everything was not

i see stars

and bible thumpers

bloom and gloom

like the sound

of the man

ready for doom

I put my spell on you

just like before

only now

I am dancing

on the moonlight floor

I can only run

(to you)

I can only hide

(from you)

if you

want me to leave

I will


I leave wounded

all the time

with my destination

out the door

where the stakes

are high

and time don’t end

a sweet choke

under faces

of light

hidden within smoke

and imaginary tales

of without any explanation

interested in this study

more here

then there

the absurd to defend

everyone corrupts

in movement

you rather abuse

than love again

the distance between

cause feelings we reject

already seated

i tried more to protect


from what you see

in the mirror

that is me

another suicide

in the distant blue

i lie here

sweetly crushed


the pain of you

-kyoko cole



How to Avoid the Pursuer-Distancer Pattern in Your Relationship

The pursuer-distancer pattern

Therapist Dr. Harriet Lerner summarizes the pattern like this.

A partner with pursuing behavior tends to respond to relationship stress by moving toward the other. They seek communication, discussion, togetherness, and expression. They are urgent in their efforts to fix what they think is wrong. They are anxious about the distance their partner has created and take it personally.

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I don’t understand

I don’t understand how someone can just treat another like trash.

Like they don’t matter now and like they never really mattered at all.

Do they know how stupid and insignificant and small that makes a person feel?

Do they know and just ignore it?

Do they actually enjoy making someone else feel the way they would never want to feel?

It’s pretty heartless.

Is it because they got screwed over before they have to pass the bad behavior on?

What really kills me is how much the other person tries to make them happy but in return they make them feel like they’re never good enough and discard them for whatever reason they can.

If I don’t mean that much to you then I don’t mean that much to you…

But know that you meant the world to me and my heart was pure and full of hope and love and dedication… And you treated me like dirt just because you could. Made me feel like completely disposable and worthless.

Why would you do that to my heart? Why would you do that to anyone?

Why can’t you see what you’re doing to me?

You only care when someone does it to you.

You don’t care.

I have to realize that you just don’t care about me and stop thinking about only the good which was never lasting.

It felt nice to be a part of a family. To feel accepted even if it was never consistent. It felt nice to feel love and feel loved that I still cling onto those moments even if you show me no love or care or respect now and that’s sad.

Says a lot about myself.

Says a lot about you.

I could find better but I hold on to someone who doesn’t care if they ever see me again. I’m not worth your time or effort or love when you were worth it to me. I feel stupid. I feel bamboozled. I feel lied to and cheated….and i feel used.

That makes my stomach sink and my eyes full up with tears.

I’ve spent years trying…

There’s nothing more left in me

I need a new place to write

My heart is broken


I can’t love you

You treat me like shit and you think you’re right for doing so

Goodbye to you.

I’m never going back to that shit again.

I see you

For who you really are

What I thought I saw before

Was an illusion.

Sign in or create

a range of

internal rows

between the

precious state

his eyes

found the secret

to me

they stopped short

the last of sweetened portraits

lie in their step

crushed by their nature

caused by you

flutter though my butterfly

your silky wings

only served some gold

the face flooded

a sudden paleness

she can hear us now

through colors unborn

-kyoko cole


A person who doesn’t give a fuck

You used to make me smile

Even when you screamed and yelled

And left.

Even though it would make me cry

YOU would make me smile

Cause i knew you loved me.

But now

I sit here


And know you’re not

I know you don’t care

Maybe you never did

But all I know is everything I did

Doesn’t matter

I still love you.

I hope you’re happy

I’m not as happy without you

But I’m moving on

Mourning comes

Not only am I morning the death of my best friend

I’m also morning the death of you

But you are still alive

I don’t know which is worse.

Someone I’ll never see again

Or someone who’s still alive but not in my life.

Let the rest of this year be full of joy and love and good memories please.

This has become all too much.


Maybe you don’t love


I love you

And I miss you

The you that loved me


Accepted me.

And that’s all


Don’t act cool

Too cool for school

That’s alright

That’s pretty fucking cool

You fool

Cool guy


You gotta be so cool

Makes me sick

Makes me want to go home

Makes me want to go away

Makes me feel like high school

Mr cool.

Fuck that shit

I quit




Good night

Come to me

I need you to see your smile

That’s meant for me.