I respect myself

I do.

Today will never happen again

I love myself and whatever you don’t give me (don’t want to) is fine

And all the crap you put me through. You don’t have to see but I know it’s not just me.

You do a lot that isn’t very nice

You cause a lot of hurt too and never own up to it.

How do we start a new when you still allow all that other Bullshit with girls and shit in your life.

At least I have the decency to tell guys that try to get with me that I’m seeing someone I care about very much and in order for it to work I have to try and it’s not appropriate to call me or send me any of those pics anymore or to see me.

That’s respect.

But hey it’s cool.

You’re just a guy I met at the bar with no depth. And I’m a great person with flaws but I own up to my shit and I make sure I stop it and let you know that. So you’re not in the dark

We had the best thing that could have always been better if you just trusted me and acted like a decent person and never made me feel like I have to question your actions by leaving me in the dark and then seeing those pics on your phone.

It hurt

But you can’t hurt me now cause I lost respect for you. Just cause you’re never sorry for what you put me through but I’m always sorry and try to change the things that bother you.

You really think I don’t give a fuck about myself that much to put up with someone that can’t ever say sorry or tell the truth?

I’m sorry you’re so very wrong and until you can show me your someone worth trusting. I don’t and I’ll show you the best me that you won’t have until you change how hurtful and deceitful you can be.

Advertisements

Ugh

You always leave me out of things you know I want to do.

I guess whoever you went with means more to you than me.

Obviously.

You know how to reach me if you wanted to.

Your lack of effort really just makes me depressed.

thirty eight hours

and useless

her lonely mother

remained silent

resting on the shoulder

of her companion

the great sun and the heavens

now seemed artificial.

do we understand the power

of our instruments?

vanity of the vanities

sometimes tried to stand and walk

like us

a coat of magnetic mindlessness

the man with bad intent

playing us like the smallest violin

this feeling of emptiness

Is more alive than me

illusions all around us.

to soften the blow

between the operator

and the subjects

you found my energy

in the broken pulse of time

I pulsate with the angels

and then laugh at our farewell

I am a memory

you see… that

this

is the end.

-Kyoko Cole

2018

No cure

Bath room doom

Another night

I hide

In the only place

I feel safe

Sitting on the floor

My back against the door

That is broken

Just like me.

It is what it is

No time to cry

No time to care

About things that can’t be undone

Hail Satan!

You have won!

Happy now?

I hope so

at least someone or something is happy

Happier than me

Than I could ever be

Be careful what you say

Cause things might end

that way

And this will be the last time

in the room

Of doom

Or in this place

With this face

Tomorrow

never

knows