morning chill

early Tuesday morning. 5:am
Just finished packing my car
The morning air is an uncomfortable kind of sharp
The wind only makes it worse.
I’m just about ready
to leave this shit hole
before the sun comes out
so I don’t have to see how ugly it is.
the morning sun is harsh
and I don’t want to be stuck in traffic.

I don’t say goodbye
I haven’t told anyone where I’m going
cause I don’t even know
I give my cats some love
and close the door behind me
as I get in the car
I shiver and shake
inside
warming up my car
watching my own breath
I am beside myself
this was my only option
… well not my only option

but
I’ll save that for another day

heading out of this town
I begin to feel okay
I think I might get a new number
go by some other name
just so I don’t feel the same
as I did here
when I get to wherever I go
I don’t know.

and
not knowing
is okay by me.