How bad this feels

I get treated like nothing

He is just like the rest

Void of emotions

He doesn’t really give a fuck about me

Or how I feel

I’m tired of life

I’m tired of giving a part of myself to someone

Who I think cares for me

But only cares about themselves

I feel so alone in this world

I’m tired

I’m spent

And I don’t want to be here anymore.

36 years is enough

All the assholes can deal with each other

I’m jumping ship

Fuck this

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Ziggy has left the building

LightLightLight

the bed you made me sleep in

no love
no words
no care
no heart
no try
no thought
no time
no reply
no reason why
no hello
no goodbye

all i got was
your cold shoulder
your dead eyes
and your hate
directed indirectly at me

and there’s no reason
i deserve
your abuse
or your stupid excuse
for why it’s okay for you
to do the things that you do
i would hate to be you
you are blind
your deception of mind
was the abuse given to you
that you now give back to the world

Or at least to me

you don’t treat me good
you don’t treat love like you should
the good in you has died
And all you got now

Is evil inside

Not my Captain

under cover tears
and under cover fears
steers

the ship
without help

from me or you

under a moonless darkness
of questions

My heart weeps

while
your other lover sleeps
She rests without worry
without wonder

Without thought
As she takes
your heart and soul for a walk
in the streets of longing i seek
the things you shall never speak
not to me

ever
and never
when
i needed you to

an enigma is not that great
When it’s an empty full of hate
it has no soul
and has no control

but i’m not the one
who’s got you trapped
down in a hole
and calls it child support
but yet I am the one
who you abort
cause you’re old
cause you’re cold

the last sentence you saw
makes people shiver
the last sentence you saw
is running away
to a better day
a more passionate evening
stole all the goods

i have a trained assassin stay overnight
just in case
i’m caught up in a fight
i didn’t start
but i WILL end
when i send in
my ninja friend
to break
some knees
please
let the HEARTBREAKING lies
roll over us
like the warm summer breeze.
abstraction is often FIVE floorS above you
while
subtraction is a hundred floors below
that is something
you see in others
but in yourself
will never know

An itch

He’s got an itch

To turn the switch

In the snap of a finger

He’s a dead ringer

For Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hide

Which side?

Is he gonna be now?

Watch what you say

And you better obey

cause it’s only his way or the highway

he refuses to meet halfway

I can only care so much

And i Can’t get too close

Cause that’s who he likes to hurt the most

-kyoko cole

I don’t even try

Morning sun slips in

Through the blacks of My eyes

A second away from night

A moment away from sight

And many moons and days away from you

Feels like years now since we were we

I know you’ve moved on to worse things that make you feel better

At least for now

And I just move around in beds and in heads of others

To distract

I might seem okay to everyone else but it’s all just an act

A sad little act that maybe I’ll someday actually be

But the real me

Is a sad sight to see

inside I am empty

lonely

And lost

without you.

And there’s nothing I can do

Cause there’s no reason to

You gave me nothing

A million times left with no reply

Now nothing is all I got left

To give

So I don’t even try

In rooms alone it still makes me cry

I know the reason why

so i don’t even try

-kyoko cole 2018

Wednesday night

I Was feeling sad

Rejected

Unwanted

Then someone called my name

Then another person bought me flowers

But it still didn’t feel the same.

I’m grateful for this who cared

In a moment when someone did not

But I guess I just caught

Feelings

In a moment

For someone I should have thought twice about