look forward

look forward but i know in my heart 

not to look back towards you

for you are somewhere else

and your place 

makes no space 

for me 

i love something that only exists in my heart now

cause the way you show and hold and give then take

is whenever you please

like a tool

like a trap

that’s not a loving place for me

so i sit here and i  know that the only thing i can do 

is to let you go from my heart and let you remain 

wherever you stay that is safe

no matter what words you use 

no matter what you make yourself believe

you are set in your ways

which only keeps me further away from me 

to wait for you

or anyone who 

isn’t there

is a slow death

to believe what you say but do not show

is abandoning my heart

and myself

i let go 

i let go

of what i wanted with you 

to yearn for something or someone

who isn’t there and won’t be there  

is torture

when i let go 

i see what i wanted 

for what it really is  and what it really is not

it is not for me 

it is not what i need 

i open my eyes within and find truth

and find love and wisdom 

i can’t teach a blind man to see with his heart 

what he won’t allow himself see

i can’t make you be better for you

and you will never be better for me

it isn’t about me

what i wanted from you

i already have in and all around 

i let go 

of the old

and something new is found