Author: b-side junkie
artist/designer, music lover, b-side junkie, writer, bartender, animal lover..."feelist"... Mad mime
make your way
the years go by
so fast
warp speed
did I need…
all the crazy
all the bullshit???
I don’t understand
how so many years
have passed
in a flash of light
in the beat of a heart
sometimes I just want to go back
to back to the start
just yesterday
I was there
now I’m here
aged in the
age of lament
with all those years
and days
and moments
spent
with all the people
and places
and things
that went
along
now gone
time
the bittersweet
heartbreaker
what’s it all about
to be with
only then to be left without
it’s kind of a cruel joke
we are born
just to croak
all the pain and all the joy
we will never be here again
not like this
not this moment
not ever again
let the love in
let the bullshit go
you will miss this
you will miss
I miss it
more than you will ever know
Eat crow
burnt my two fingers
Burnt
Two fingers
Dry lips make
Paper stick
And fingers slide down
I ash all over myself
So not myself .
Or maybe this is really
Who I am.
God damn
Albatross
Knuckle under
Kneel over
And down
Seems like everything
kicks me down
When Im already there
But now
The difference is
I don’t care
To speak up
To say what I feel
To any of you
What good does it do
It doesn’t
Another night locked up
In a bathroom
In a cell
In this hell
Alone
Alone
Water from the faucet
Water down the drain
I’m done with this pain
I’m done
I just wasn’t the person for this job
The hour is getting late
Take one for the road
I didn’t have the voice
But what I have
Is the choice
Everything will be okay now
Garage yoga cigarette blues
Self split
Can never quite put
My finger on it
But something is there
To make me aware
Of tiny shifts
Of attitude and you
And it’s making me blue
It’s better not to care
Because everyone else doesn’t really seem to anymore
If they ever even did
It’s making me blue
That all I ever was to you (the only one)
Was nothing
Without you
I feel nothing
You
I miss you
But I know
You don’t
Miss me
A little boy
He does everything
He doesn’t want me to do to him
And I’m tired of
His hypocrasy
His lost
Is my gain
He’s showing me
What not to care about
All I need to do
Is stay calm
And not get so upset
Over people
Who don’t know how
To care
To make others want to stick around
This is a bad investment
And I’m not putting any more
In to something that returns less and less
It’s worthless
And a waste of my time
And energy
To deal with someone
Who can’t play fair
another day passes
take another drink
to sink
your mind into
out of the blue
and into the black
just another
sick attack
just another
thing to stack
on top of
all the other
challenges
and
obstacles
I don’t want to understand
but I do
but can’t you stop
and see me
like I see you
tummy churns
and the heart burns
I die a little more
every time
it goes
and blows
a little more
away
all the things I try
but fail
to say
that you
don’t hear
don’t care to listen to
anyway
why do you make me feel this
fucked up way
I’m not okay
see how it feels
This shit sucks
weird feel
sit
staring at the lines
on a page
sounds
of this and that
I don’t know anymore
my body feels
the desire
the natural beating
and ticking of time
counting down
the hours
made into days
made into-
not that many years
LEFT
biology is weird
bodies are weird
age is weird
life is fucking weird.
time is running out
and fast
I’m a late bloomer
when it comes to things
that the rest of the world
seemed to figure out
long ago
every new
chubby little face
is just a reminder of
what I don’t have
what I may never have
what I threw away many years before
what a waste
how it is that
one day I was young
and now i’m on bordering on
OLD?
this is sick
fuck time frames
fuck windows
fuck restrictions
that I didn’t implement
I’m like a 4 year old child going on 80 but still with a 18 year old feel
ugh
family is all I’ve ever wanted
and yet the furthest thing away
Lov3
I am in love with you
Thank you for loving me
The way you do
Whiskey midnight mayhem blues – skin loves fever
Scorpion sting Aborted fetus Creation of two Left for only one Left for the dead The constant playback in my head Of the last words ever said A belly full of lies a heart less and less of you spitting words lies spoken you can feel the real of fake you try to make off…
— Read on skinlovesfever.com/2013/10/11/whiskey-midnight-mayhem-blues/
