Please don’t blame yourself

You are not bad

I want you to know that

From the bottom of my heart to

The deepest part of your soul

You are loved

You make me so sad

What pain is

When you have to deal with someone like you

But I won’t be there

By your side.

Cause you were never really there for me..

Your presence was airways tainted with a hateful evil and cruelty

That I could never and will never understand

You like to break the people who love you

Down

To the fucked up hole

You came from

And your actions and words

Have done enough

This time

You have crossed the line

And I no longer have love for someone who is a predator like you

You have no love in your heart

You just take the good and make the bad

And leave

Like the coward you are

who cares if you can beat someone up

Or who cares how angry you can get

You’re still a fucking coward and a bully

You can’t deal with shit without drugs

Or hurting the ones closest to you

You came in this world alone

And you’ll die alone

And I hope you feel what you made me feel

Cause i did nothing to deserve the level of hate and anger you have thrown at me

My bad for putting up with it for so long.

You don’t deserve love.

You need to be treated like the ugly person you truly are

You need to have someone break your heart the way you love to break mine.

Ahhh but narcissists don’t feel

So I guess you’ll be fine

You should go away

You are the reason this world is a shitty place

Cause you don’t make it any better.

You suck the soul of of people who loved you

And then you think it’s everyone else

You’ll never get past this level.

Cause you have no love to give

You are a loser

And you just lost me for good.

Good riddance you ugly

Hateful little man.

You’re a lost cause

And no one will ever care as much as i did

And you just fucked that up

Years ago

You had light

And you made me believe

In myself

You got me excited about what was possible

With my art

With many different ideas

With life

…

Fast forward to now

And it was all talk

You’re a flake

And a liar in some ways

I wouldn’t have to call you

When I’ve been waiting on you

For years now

To produce something that actually does something and gets somewhere

Regardless

You don’t take this or me seriously

All your talk talk talk

Was nothing more than a bunch of fluff

And frankly I’m better off doing it on my own

Or with someone who actually has the balls

To back it all up.

I’ve had a lot ofpatience for you to get out of your hole you’ve dug drugged yourself in

But your talk talk talk with no follow through

Has made me lose my patience

You’re not who I thought you were

Not anymore anyways.

And now he it is 4:30 pm

Almost time for me to bust my ass off at work

And I got nothing from you

I’m not saying a damn thing anymore

You should know better

But you just act like you don’t

Take a real good look at yourself

How could any person want to work with you when YOU REFUSE TO WORK AT ALL

Go waste someone else’s time getting wasted

You don’t learn

And you don’t see

i put trust in you

Believed your words

While you were just foolin’ me

This time it’s gonna take a lot more than your Bullshit words (that don’t mean much anymore cause you always say a lot of what you never do)

For you to convince me

To trust you

Grow up

Get a job

Get a life.

Stop talking

Unless you mean what you say

But I can’t waste my life away

waiting for you to come around some day

You don’t take what I love seriously

You dint even respect yourself

So don’t be a fake

Be the flake

That you have become

That is who you are now

Young

Inconsiderate

And just plain stupid

I’m spent

I’m tired

I feel like nothing I do

Matters

Or pays off

I try

And love

So much

But it does me no good

And that’s who i am

But it doesn’t matter much

To anyone else.

I wake up

I smile

I go into things

With the right kind of mind

But all I seem to find

Is the same things

That don’t care

About very much if at all about me.

I never felt protected

I never felt safe

And now

I even more alone

I just don’t know what to do

When I try to talk

To you

I just get ignored.

It gets old

And I don’t want to be

The person that it’s okay to just throw away

Anymore

I matter?

Maybe I don’t

I don’t.

Or I wouldn’t be

Here.

Right now

Feeling like who I am

Is not good enough

To love

Or to nurture.

I wish

I meant something more

To you

I wasted time and care on someone who is blind.

He’ll destroy someone good

Just cause his mind is so distorted

He would rather treat people who are shit better than someone who has been there for him and tried

He’s impossible

He makes it impossible

To be with

to love

To care for

Everything is a test

And he gives very little in return

He’s a pusher

He’s a fake

He builds you up just to break you down and take your soul

He has pushed down

And pushed me away

For the last time

Now I know that he will never change

He can’t

He’s mental.

Not to be trusted at all

I’m not praying

I’m not pleasing

I’m not pushing

I’m not playing

Your games

You like to play

No more

You drink

Till you sink

You drown

Yourself

Down

A bottle or two

And think

In the way

That only thinks about you

You don’t care

To be aware

And you don’t care

To be there

You just want to impair

Your state of mind

To the state of blind

And do whatever you want

Cause you can always say

‘I don’t remember’

The very next day

And that shit gets old

For someone like me

Dealing with someone as old as you

If you only knew

How much shit you put me through

You would never

Play your drinking games again

But I know when

I’ve tried enough

Without you trying at all

Your court

The ball

Your call

You have all night

To make it right

And if you don’t

You won’t have me at all.

You make it impossible

To love you

And still love myself

He pushes

But he can’t see

Past his own beliefs

Which don’t make sense

But I love him

And it doesn’t matter

To him.

What he will never know..

Is how lonely it feels

Right now.

To not have him

Breaks me

But to have him

When he’s at his worst

When he doesn’t care to care

When he’s stuck

And doesn’t give a fuck

That Breaks me even more

I can’t make him see

What he cannot see

What he does not want to see

Even when he shows more

It doesn’t stay that way

He always goes back

Covered in a cloud of black

Chooses to remain

On the losing end

Unwilling to learn

Unwilling to listen

You can’t teach

You can’t reach

Someone who doesn’t care

to listen

Doesn’t care to hear

Would rather create fear

For others

Than to make the air clear

And it hurts

To be the one who loves him

Cause my love

To him

Will never be good enough

And I can’t stay

When all he does is find reasons

To push me away