I’m okay

This is what I’ve learned today.

Some people are with my time

Some are not

And the way to tell the difference

Is when the shit comes down on you

And the rug gets pulled beneath you

And your world gets turned upside down

Who’s still there?

Well that’s how you know

Who is and who is not

Worth the care.

It’s really that simple

Now deal with the truth

And move on

(Telling that to myself)

You’ll be okay without

The Bullshit people in the way

You’ll actually be much better.

And feel much better after a little while

You’ll begin to smile

Again

So let them go

And move on…

Fuck you

That’s what i say to anyone who doesn’t give a fuck

Don’t try and tell me you do

When you have it easy

When your worst fear is mommy and daddy yelling at you when you’re almost fucking 30

You’re not on my level

Your heart hasn’t gone through enough

To know how to have a heart

You’re like soulless

Spoiled

Selfish

And stupid

About what you do now

Only caring about it later

And later is too late

I’m stronger than you will ever be

So i don’t care what you think

Cause You haven’t been through shit

And I pity the man

Who thinks he can

Treat anyone so carelessly

After selling themselves with words abd promises

You have to learn

The hard way

And until then

Everyone in your life

Will be as fake and phoney

As you

That helps me sleep at night

Cause I don’t accept

Fake

Shit

And conmen

You’re life is stupid

Your “love” feels like a cheap car sales man

Trying too hard To sell you a lemon

Trying to take all your money

When They know the money you have

Isn’t a lot but you’ve worked your ass off for it

And then when that car they sold you breaks down in the middle of nowhere late at night

And you’re fucked

They’re at home alone

Sleeping peacefully

Without a care in the world

Sleazy

And slimy

I wouldn’t ever want to be someone like you

Everyone warned me

About you

And I didn’t listen

Cause for some stupid reason

I see the good in people

But never again

Will I allow someone

With such disregard

And without any grace or feel

To ever talk themselves

Into my heart

Cheap

And cold

I feel sorry for you

and uncomfortable

Csuse you try so hard

To say something

But it’s never ever right

But you think you’re so clever

You will be more alone

Then I ever will

You’ll think of me

When you have no one

And you’ve wasted your days on stupid shit

And everyone you loved is dead

You’ll think of me

And hate that I was right

You’re a jerk

It’s just who you are

I act like a bitch

Because I’m dealing with you

And you

Is not

Someone

I want to deal with anymore

The best you can

Is not good enough

This is a message to myself

I’m sorry

I wish you understood me better

But you choose to only see the me

That is so alone

It’s unbearable

If I know how to fix it I would

But I can’t change others and

Everywhere I look

Points me in the same direction

I have no one

And no one has me

Remember the Buddhist temple

Under the biggest rock

And whatever is left of the Bush beside my front door

I don’t want to do this no more

Sorry

But why did you have to be so mean?

I wasn’t mean to you until you got really mean

I just don’t get it

Cause I had so much love in my heart for you

And you would trash be every time

You are responsible for your actions

And those actions lead to making people like they don’t belong

Especially unwanted to you

I guess you forgot what it’s like to be in love and have someone crush you just because they can.

I’d rather crush myself

Are you here with me now?

No

Do you try to understand and be kind?

No

Do you even care about me at all?

I wouldn’t know because you don’t even try to keep me around

I thought we had something special

So that’s why I’m so hurt that you could be this way now. It hurts

You’re not hurting at all.

I always thought about you

And wanted to make you happy

But why do I care about you so much

When you don’t give a damn about me.

I see your actions

And that’s not seeing you

You didn’t even say goodbye on my birthday

… Decent?

You make me out to be such a bad person but you’re just plain mean and careless and cruel.

You lie all the time

But blame me

You won’t ever see

Until I’m gone.

Like gone for good.

This has been the hardest time in my life

And I don’t even have you giving me love

Like the love I gave you

I’m an idiot.

You don’t have a heart cause you know pain and you csuse it by doing what hurts me the most.

When you don’t have to.

This is my end.

I’m so heartbroken

It’s beyond repair

This blog started as my creative little poems about the good -the bad -the unknown

But now it’s become my only friend

And I’m even tired of it

And what is turned into

This is my end

I shouldn’t be here

Twisted

Now I know

That this is not where I belong.

Cost

we never know

Until it’s too late

Maybe we do

But you never think it will happen to you

Until it does

Then you care

Thanks

Love

Love

Love

Love

Thanks

Giving

Me

Solitude

Every ten years

Covered in more fears

Rainy days and Thursdays

Always get me down

Trapped inside this body

Inside this life

….

All lies

Allies

Ha

Thankful

I hope everyone has a very lovely and harmonious Thanksgiving. There’s a lot to be thankful for – even when times are difficult. Give love to the ones you love before it’s too late. Cherish the moments.

Lots of love to all of you

-kyoko

What you don’t understand

I’m not holding on

But I’m not giving up

Without some kind of fight

Because he means something to me

And to a lot of people

And i also mean something to him

When it’s his time

And he wants to go

He will let me know

So don’t get pissed off

At something

You will never understand – Love

Just because you’re fucked up

Doesn’t mean you should be put to death

And just because everyone gives up on you

Doesn’t mean that’s the right thing to do

Pain is pain

And if he’s suffering

And i see his quality of life diminish

Then I’ll do what needs to be done

But until then I’m gonna fight for a life that is worthy of living

Funny how we are so quick to put animals out of their mystery

But not people

And the what’s more funny is

People can speak the words that they are in pain and suffering

Animals can’t

We just assume the minute they get sick that they need to be put to sleep

Cause it’s easier for us to do that

Than to deal with something more difficult and someone other than ourselves

I just realized

You are incapable of love

It’s not me

I will forget you.

I will be okay.

nine lives and this one is coming to an end

starts with a cat
or maybe the <a href="http://<iframe style="width:120px;height:240px;" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ss&ref=as_ss_li_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=kyokocole0b-20&language=en_US&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B07VWK17VV&asins=B07VWK17VV&linkId=a5d18ade1e12a0f3a8bed1448afdbfef&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true">booze
either way
i rarely seem to win
yet always seem to lose.
you tingle
and mingle
you have taught yourself to become numb
i stupidly follow
your fucked up trail
the trap you leave
with each crumb.

it starts with a smile
followed by a kiss
but after awhile
it’s only the ghost i miss

some stairs
going up
only leading me down
backwards path
i can’t do the math
but i know
that’s where you go
always way down low
where nothing can grow
a basement
a ditch
a switch
a dungeon
a dark prison vault
a bottomless pit
full of your shit
yet you always make it my fault.

i am not here
nor am i there
i am no longer anywhere
not like you care
if i am or if i’m not
but i got
something in my pocket
and whatever is left in my heart
and that right now
for me…
is a good place to start.
or end…

-kyoko cole