Ugh

And the sad part is

I just miss you 

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I need to go 

Far far far far away 

Maybe some other day 

I’ll be better

Tham I am Now 

Today

I see

That this world

Isn’t for me 

You gotta kill yourself before you kill everybody else

I want you to LOVE me as my broken self

Just like you want others to do for you

But it ain’t easy

And it ain’t gonna ever happen

With someone who just gives up  

I need strength when I ain’t strong

I am strength when others are weak

But right now 

I seek

To change

To find

Gotta break the bond

And not my heart

I wish there was some way to go back to the start

But I know

Better

And you wanted me to go

Light heavy

light heavy
star gaze

Moon shine
Shadows
Fall behind
creep through
and leave a trace

the way the
moonlight shines upon your face
is quite Devine
how i wish that you were mine

Big things little things 

i grabbed the moon and the stars screamed
at midnight i walked the lonely road alone

can you feel the beating of my heart?
the mighty impression suspends off the message
outside the sad argument
into the setting sun

down the quickest mistake
the evil belief acquires
above the rare ceremony
the plans
you create 

across the magenta sky

blinded by the light
in the resistance

Is heaven
a hand held by another
sets my spirit free

hydrogen carbon and rust

truths scratched from the dirt 

Rusted trucks

die with years

in dried grasses below

with vultures above 

They hover 

They watch 

The live 

in waiting 

hungry like the old

hungry like the forgotten 

waiting in line

for the dead

to come

waiting 

like we wait

To die 

take your dirty hands off my mirror

sun shines

summer comes

again

it’s been 3 years

and i don’t feel a thing

like i should

like i could

take that!

thought

out of mind

and then 

it will

all be fine

some day

they say 

after today 

Everything will be fine

again
when we return

the sun sets

and day is done

like the bodies 

of everyone

like the sun 

Well cease to run

And someday will die

but you and i 

and the moon 

are never alone 

And are forever alive
going home

going home

we will know 

when we get home

  

Goodbye song 

Loves shadow hangs low

Loves broken me in two

Million pieces

And at moments

I feel like I can’t go on
But it’s alright

I’ll be alright

Even if I’m all wrong

I’ll sing my song

And mourn the loss of you
No closed doors

All were left  wide open

And the empty hallways

Left my empty too

And at this moment I feel like I can’t go on
But it’s alright

I’ll be alright

Even if I’m all wrong

I’ll sing this song

For it’s my way to say goodbye to you

 

-kyoko Cole 2017

 

A fight I can’t win 

I used to try 

But now I see 

That it ain’t me 

That’s the problem  

And you can believe 

Whatever you make up in your head 

But I see 

What’s actually reality 

And you just don’t. 

Everything you do is like toxic glue 

It’s easy to stick to you 

I thought you loved me too

But now I see that you don’t love me at all 

Emotional abuser 

Manipulator user 

Narcissistic paranoid accuser 

A liar 

A blamer

A child 

A shamer

Just a loser 

Who’s gonna  lose in the end 

Cause you can’t grow 

If you think you know 

It all  

But clearly you know nothing 

But a bunch of bullshit 

You’ve Brainwashed yourself to believe 

Where is your heart?

You have no heart 

No love

No care 

You’re a little angry man 

Unaware 

Of what really matters 

Unable to ever change 

lonely

what good is it

if it isn’t good anymore?

what if i don’t know how to get it back to good

i don’t

depression is a mother-fucker

it’s really lonely here

and i want out