Home is where I want to be

Home is where I want to be

But home isn’t where I live

Home is with you

And I will never be home again

Found a ring that don’t mean a thing

The sport highway clogs my balance

A metal tears?

A pedal steers

The weight of the vinyl smells

Melting grooves that will soon make a tune.

A tune that May be sweet to the ears

Or bleak to the fears

The optional bench cries

Under and into the man who sits

On its throne

Both the bench and the man

wanting so badly to be alone

In mourn

Wanting and waiting

For something great to be born

Another addict shelves the staggering sentence

As he falls into the long sleep of death

The sunrise boot laughs

As he kicks my nightowl ass

The textbook race expires

As the new dying you tires

nature flashes

As the true lie clashes

The overpriced mouth

Splashes

And lashes

Out

Spilling

And Killing

And willing to

Do

Whatever It is is you need to do

Because you only care about you

Evil fuck

Why do you feel the need to kill anything good that you have..

It’s your nature

I don’t want you.

You’ll never change what is you.

The calm

What’s strange to me

Is how calm I feel

Now

That

I’ve

Made

A

Decision

To

End

This.

It’s pointless to argue

If you want to love someone

Show them love

If you want to kill someone

Show them by not listening

By not giving a damn

By ignoring their feelings.

They’ll start to feel the same way too

When the calm sets in

That’s when you know

It’s the end

At the end

I don’t know how you can say things to someone and then take them back the way you do

But I do know that

This is not

What you do

To someone

If you want them to feel loved

And safe

Abs taken care of

This is what you do

When you want them to see

That

They aren’t worth it to show them real love

That

They are just someone who you can hurt

And then make them feel like it’s their fault when they need a little more

This is why

I know my days

Are coming to an end

I don’t need you to understand me or save me

When you’re the one

Who didn’t care to be love

When it actually mattered.

I wonder if you’ll care

When you realize

How little love you showed me now

After

I am gone.

Nothing about you is real

You lie

To me

To yourself

So goodbye

You are erased from my life

And from my memory.

I was great before you

So I’m great right now.

It only triggers something if you care

And why should I care about someone who always wants to make me feel bad?

Exactly

You have become just another face in the crowd.

One I don’t even notice cause it’s not worth my time.

I should be that to you as well.

Ok now for something completely different.

Today was a good day.

Stupid questions

You say a lot of stupid things

And I don’t stop loving you

But I ask a question

You find stupid

You get mad and treat me with hate

You say anything you want to me

All the time and I’m suppose to take it like a joke and roll with it

But if I do it

You just get hateful

After days of us being good.

I guess you’ll always be this way

If a question you don’t like makes you hate me and makes you forget everything good we have then

I know it’s not me.

If I can love the worst you and still be by your side

But you can’t even love me when I ask one question you find stupid then you need to learn how to love better

Cause love isn’t just loving someone when it’s easy. Love is loving someone when it’s not the easiest.

You hate me every other day

But you don’t see yourself and how you are

You say I’m a hypocrite

But you are too

Why do you have to go to the place of hate over something you could just have patience with. You make everything go to shit for the dumbest things

You have more hate in you

Then you do love

Pillls and booze

Do you ever feel so low

Abd everyone you know

Who says they care

But their words are filled with air

Just fluff

And now I’ve had enough

That I’m fine

I’m done

This living ain’t much fun

And you’re not the one.

I thought you were

You told me you were

As I write this

The world’s becoming a Blur

And my time is running out

If you ever had a doubt

You won’t after tonight

You just wanted to be right

Well then that you shall be

But you won’t ever have me

Agsin

The end

so this is how the story ends

no words to say
to song to sing
this is the sorrow
this mourning brings
the start of your week
is the end of my day
nothing really matters
to me anyway.
i was happy
when i made you happy
but now the ideas you make up in your head
make you sad
at me
make you mad
at me
and i will never be
who you want
me to be
i will never feel
your sunshine again
but i will always know
this darkness
that you left me in
on this day
today
that you went away
and made me have to go.
this kind of love
this kind of life
i already know
so well—
so long
so many times
i guess it was me
who was wrong
all along
i don’t fit
in this world
i can’t sit
i don’t have my place
so i quit
this shit
and burn
any trace
of me
you will never see
my face
or my smile
and after a while
you’ll forget that too
this is my goodbye
to you

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sadness and mourning. saying goodbye
Photo by Trinity Kubassek on Pexels.com
“Suicide Fever” by AA, 1981