You

The only one I would ever marry is you.

It’s always been

and

always will be

you.

Advertisements

Some things

Some things

I get over easily

Some take time

Very few things

I’ll never get over

And you are one of those few things.

Makes life unbeatable

And the less I enjoy

What good is it

If this feeling won’t go away?

What good am I

When this makes me unhappy every day?

It’s not and I’m not

I can’t do this anymore

Without you

Without your love

I just don’t feel like doing this

Anymore

Three years ago in August

If there was one time

I wish I could go back to

It would be

When I first met you

I would be a little more careful

To not make you feel any doubt

I would let you in

So you would know what I was really about

I would be myself

And wouldn’t act so cool

And hopefully you would see

So you could still appreciate meNow

And love me now

Like you used to

If there is one thing I want more than anything in the world

It’s to relive that time again

Cause the fact that you don’t love anymore

And can live your life without me and be perfectly okay

While I could never feel that way

you discarded me

like what we had meant nothing to you at all

You never write

You never call

If you could know how I feel

You would know it’s real

Cause I’m heartbroken

And sad

I would do anything to go back

To 3 years ago

To the beginning

I would do anything to have your love again.

It doesn’t get easier

It only

Gets older

And colder

The more time passes by

I would have gone to the ends of the earth for you

Yet you have so quickly forgotten me

Maybe when I’m finally gone

You’ll think of me and miss my love

Knowing then

Only When

It becomes something you will never be able to get back

My days are numbered.

My heart is so broke down

And sad

I’ll never be the same again

ice wild

she was ice wild
cool
sharp
with the eyes of a child

images of a starry night
and the negatives of a hazy day
you can recall
the feel of it all
the buzz and fuzz
blurred out
in a dream like sorta way

take a drink
of her pink lemonade
blackness
and hide wide under her moon shine shade
get your fix on the mix
of hypnotic distractions
as you enjoy her soft parade

she was ice wild
cool and
sharp
but still just a child

 

-kc

 

giphy (1)

Love doesn’t have to be the way you make it out to be

When I fell in love with you

I had an open mind and an open heart

My smile was for you because you did things that made me happy.

You treated me nice and kind and we had fun

Over time you let insecurities take over

And became angry and mean.

You made me work so hard for your love you love gave me freely.

You took me for three kind of woman I was not.

I ended up paying for the sins of the women before me and I started to hate myself cause I didn’t know what I was doing wrong when I wasn’t doing anything wrong or bad to you.

I kept trying and changing and improving myself to be more understanding and considerate of your feelings only to have you be less understanding and considerate if mine.

What’s even worse is any time we would fight you would just ignore me like I never mattered. Yet the reason we would fight was because you didn’t want to hear my feelings if you didn’t understand them you would automatically just tune me out or call me stupid cause you didn’t want to deal with anything that I felt that ioi didn’t feel. You only wanted me to deal with your feelings when you felt them. Plus most of the time you’d be drinking something. Even if you didn’t drink for a few days – the long term use of alcohol made you become something else and that someone was very mean and abusive and paranoid.

I had beautiful feelings for you until you treated me the way you would treat someone who fucked you over which I never did. You made me become ( in your head) just the same as someone from your past until I finally lost it.

You wanted me to be the Whore you could blame for all your problems. You would rather see a lie that feels confortable and familiar than to see me for who i really was to you. Someone who loved you and cared enough to not want to hurt you.

It was never good enough. Out of all the things I did that were right and loving and good. You would hold onto this one tiny thing I said way back in the beginning that you didn’t like and use that as your reason to treat me the way you did in the end – completely awful.

I would cry myself too sleep so many nights only to wake up to the same thing and not want to leave my bed

I didn’t understand how i could love you so Unconditionally while you had a long list of conditions I had to obey before you even site m me even an ounce of affection. And even if I did everything you said you wanted it didn’t seem to marry you would still get drunk get angry and find some reason to point fingers and leave me again.

That’s what love is to you

That’s not love to me

If I wanted to be with someone else I would have been

I wouldn’t lie and cheat

Why would I have put so much effort until our relationship ( getting barely anything in return) if I didn’t love you.

Why would I constantly go to you and come a running every time you’d call if I just wanted to be with someone else?

That’s dumb that you even use that as a reason to be angry when I would always go home with you

You pushed me away.

You did this.

Not me.

I did everything I could to show you

Love

You did everything you could to push me away

And this last time

You hurt me worse than I ever thought imaginable.

For months after I was the depressed I’ve ever been and you didnt try even just to see if I was okay. I wasn’t.

I started to believe that everyone was like you

I was hopeless trying not to be hopeless

For months you just ignored me and I started to feel like I never existed or mattered to you.

It’s Funny how life is sometimes.

On my lowest night

I met someone

And didn’t think much of it at the time

But after the first night we hung out together I realized that is how it should feel. This is how I should be treated. This is how I want to treat people that are kind and caring and thoughtful to me.

It wasn’t me who did anything wrong with you yeag sure I made some minor mistakes but so did you (and many many major ones) and i didn’t just give up on you and stop loving you. I didn’t just start treating you like someone who didn’t matter the minute I didn’t like something. I communicated and I was honest.

I loved you

But you didn’t love me.

And now that I’m shown respect and love and care without all the unnecessary games abs run arounds and half truths but am still so many lies – i see it even more.

If you wanted me you would have had me. You would have treated me better like people do when they want to keep someone in their life.

You wouldn’t have let me go

But I’m kinda glad you did now

Cause now I know

What love really is.

Funny how things work out

Tonight was awesome.

😉

And i can’t wait for it to happen again.

His date with fate

Slick

Slack

Flick

Flack

Sometime Soon

Under your paper moon

All you do

Will be thrown back

At you

And I’ll have a front row seat

To witness such a treat

And I’ll greet

you with a smile

And watch

As you drown yourself

In karmic debt

You’ll learn a feeling called regret

And feel what you made others feel

And you will hurt

and you will cry and

It will make your heart want to die

Cause you will know that it’s real.

And just as soon as the truth hits you

All the lights will go out

And you’ll come back in

And go straight back out

Through some body new

Yet you are still you

Will you change your ways this time around?

Or will you live another 50 years

Doing the same as before?

Once

Twice

Three times or more…

until the day you finally learn and change

You will never be free

-kyoko cole

Blind faith

It’s all fun and games

But you know the ugly truth

Is none of those people actually have your back

When the wolves attack

They are only about themselves and maybe that’s why you like hanging out with them

Cause you’re exactly the same way

They are wolves too

Needing a pack

To be somebody

To feel like they are somebody special

When they’re not

they ain’t nobody

Doing nothing

All the time.

Wasting space.

I can’t wait to watch

All of you

Drown yourselves.

MacGyver and me

Late night meeting

He comes

A groan withdraws

Within the pardon

I need a distraction

I need his diversion

Another night aborts around the twelve turnaround

Moving through the halo of numbers

Choking the hands of time

This outline destines the viable trigger

Will he shake the smallest moon?

Or shake a farewell

And make distances of my ugly past?

The trade views the spectrum

Before a crime emerges the music

I am almost back from the dead

UPDATE AJ’S FUNDRAISER FOR PERTHES DISEASE

HERE’S THE FACEBOOK FUNDRAISER PAGE FOR A.J. (MY LITTLE BROTHER)

IT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING ABOUT PERTHES DISEASE AND ALLOWS YOU TO MAKE A DONATION IF POSSIBLE
THE LINK IS LISTED BELOW .

https://www.facebook.com/donate/698193237276492/

AJ'S PERTHES DISEASE FUNDRAISER

Help my little bro with Perthes Disease medical expenses Gofundme Page

www.gofundme.com/helpAugustJoseph