


























































The past is there
We leave a part
Of who we are
Who we were
Taken in and
Pushed out
Somewhere pieces of us
Remain
In a micro trace
Floating in air
Or somewhere in space
Sometimes i feel you
Within an old place
Or taken again
In someone
Out somewhere
Breathing in air
truth in rented rooms
walls that have stood
lifetimes before I ever would –
Collecting secrets
Collecting dust
In forgotten spaces
in forgotten faces
In rented rooms
Misunderstood
Sometimes I wish I could
The hurt
Leave this body
and just forget
But like old walls
Hold silhouettes
Of the past
that will never be again
I hold
A part of you
so what if you’re weird…
so what if I had a moment of allowing you to be weird?
I’m weird all the time.
I had a moment of knowing that you needed something
and maybe I couldn’t give it to you
but at least I could be there for you
in some weird fucked up way
because I needed to not feel weird
in some weird fucked up way.
but don’t fucking be weird about it now.
something about you makes me want to help you
I don’t know
take care of you
in a non motherly
non- girlfriend kinda of way
fuck it
I couldn’t care less about what I feel
except for I don’t want you to treat me weird.
I actually enjoyed.
two weird-ass people
in a weird situation
that will most likely never happen again
and that’s the beauty of it
that it did happen
and I didn’t judge you.
I just didn’t want you to feel alone
in this stupid beautiful world
because it’s so easy to feel alone
in a city like this
that feeds off of drama
and bullshit
and faking it until you make it bullshit
fuck!
goodnight
I don’t know what I’m doing sometimes….
and that’s okay
We’re all a little weird
and
a little lonely sometimes.
Anyone who tries to pretend like they’re not those things
is lying.
I like all the imperfect people allowing themselves to be
just what they are…
and not pretending to something or someone else.
I like a little weird
I enjoy a little strange
The moments I get to be with people,
where they allow me in – to see how strange they are-
even if only for a night-
is truly special-
It’s those moments that make life worth living.
If everyone had a place to be themselves and a place to feel safe… this world might be a better place.
shut it down
shut it off
shut it out
shut up
howl to the moon
and cry yourself to sleep
you’re in too deep
on the shallow side
you can run
and I’ll hide
didn’t anyone teach you
not to run with scissors in your hand
you try to walk on water
when you can barely crawl on land
you can kiss off
piss off
kick rocks
get lost
but lost is what you are
you can keep running
but you won’t get very far
what you fear
will always be near
but it won’t be me
that you see
it won’t be me
there is no we.
I don’t owe you anything
there’s nothing I am obligated to do
for you
I do not care
what you want
or how you feel
because nothing about you
is even real
not my problem
none of my concern
i light a match
detach
set it on fire
and let it burn
as I turn
and walk away
not ever looking back
it’s a new day
and I’m not
who I was
before
–
I’m glad you took off
the way you did
I’m glad you showed me who you really are
It hurt like hell at first
but you leaving
made room for someone
who has brought me back to life again
who cares and
who excites
in ways you never would
and
or
never could.
don’t fall to pieces
life still goes on
life’s colors haven’t faded
even if life gets you down
try not to let it make you jaded
just remember
you can’t hold on so tight
it’s not your fight tot fight
for what does not belong to you
it’s not that black and white
the layers
the players
constantly change
and rearrange
people come
people go
some people you never really know
someday we all will die
now is not the time to wonder why
say goodbye
don’t hold on
everything you love
some day will be gone
Light another cigarette
Haven’t eaten in days
But I’m about to change my ways
Cause it ain’t no thing
This world is about to bring
Something true
Goodbye to everything cruel
I’m not yours
I’m not yours
I am not yours
I belong to me
What you failed to see
Was the real me
And I’m not yours
Sitting on my bed
With better thoughts in my head
Everything you said
Was a lie
Just enough to get by
So Bye bye
It’s not even about you.
Cause everything about you i thought I knew
Was untrue
Just like you were unkind
I’m replacing you in my heart and in mind
With good people
It’s almost 4 am
I got home from work
And then
Something made me see
Something made me be
Okay
Better than OK
I’m happy you decided to go away
Because that’s who you are
And at least now you’re far
From me
So I can be
With someone who deserves
My love
That will never give up
Cause I’m strong
I might be wrong
Sometimes
But I’m right about this
What’s there to miss?
When it was all fake
Someday many years from now
you’ll think of me
And your heart will break
And there will be nothing you can do
Because you akready did what you did
And I’ve rid myself of you
I’m living my life
Tonight people were kind
Made me smile
Helped me find
My way out
Of the mess you left behind
I have more important things to do
Than to be sad and waste my time
Being hurt by someone like you
You don’t know how to love
And I hope you learn
So you can be happy
And In turn
Give love
When things aren’t as easy as you want it to be
Superficial “love”
Just isn’t for me
Goodbye to you
Someone I never really knew
And now don’t care to ever know
Um happy to see you go
Run run run
I am officially done
the side people never show
even when you think you do
you never really know
someone
paintbrushes washed
in my clean and empty room
I feel sick
I feel stuck
I feel buried
inside my own tomb
I don’t know what to do
I’ll just pretend I’m okay
as each and every grueling day
slowly goes by
why?
why ?
I don’t want to die
but I don’t want to live.
I have nothing more
I want or have to give
just put me out of my misery
please
I don’t even want him back
after this
I just don’t want to feel
and I don’t want to miss
the little things
that made me so happy
like never before
but I don’t love anyone
who so easily walks out the door
without warning
without saying anything
that matters
after everything you said to me
that I thought mattered
like I thought you mattered
just put me out of my misery
I don’t care about love
I don’t care about having you
I don’t care that we are through
I don’t want to die
but I don’t want to live
I have nothing more
left to give
just put my out of my misery
do you hear me?
please.
put me out of my misery.
a box full of lies
memories of something wonderful
that didn’t really mean a thing
ice cold
people get old
I’m not okay
but what can you do
I wouldn’t want someone like you
if I knew everything could turn
with the flip of a switch
which
I should have done
to you
you don’t need care
you don’t need love
you need to learn
how to treat people
and you need to learn
how to work things through
not just to run away.
some day it will be you
and i hope it makes you a better person
I don’t care
you can stay
the way
you are
far from my love
that I wasted
on someone who just doesn’t really care
I need to be more aware
of people who say I love you
too much
to make up for
the little love they have
I’m glad it’s over
at least I know who you are now
instead of finding out years from now
you’re not a bad person
you just don’t know how to love
and follow through
and work through
the times when things get rough
you’re not tough
but neither am I
so all I can do is sit here
alone and allow myself to cry
over what I thought was real
and hopefully soon
I won’t feel
anything at all for you anymore
. . . but here I go anyway.
Poetry and fiction not intended for the masses — Sam M. Phillips
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