Not about the money

It’s about feeling taken care of and thought about

And i don’t

I think of you

And will buy you anything

And usually offer

Or pay for it all

But you rarely do

You buy me dinner sometimes

And I’m grateful

But I don’t feel special

In a romantic way

It just feels bad

And whatever

I need to stop being so nice

Everyone is out for themselves

Which is how I need to be

Piece by piece

It hits

Without warning

And the tears begin

To fall

Once it starts

It’s hard to stop

It floods my heart

Doesn’t drown my pain

It has no regard

It stops and

Never really stops

Comes in waves

But never goes

Though you are gone

I miss you

More than anyone will ever know

you will never know

How much I tried

To express myself

To you

Until

You

Are only left without

me

Trying to explain myself

To you

Ever again

Sometimes we realize after its too late that we made a mistake

I do not feel that way

About this and

I’m sorry

It’s too late

Sunshine for a spotless mind

I wish I could forget

Eject you from my brain

And heart

Erase my memory of you

Until you become somebody new

Or better yet you won’t become anything at all

It’s not fair that you can forget me

And I cannot ever forget you

Once upon a time… A long long time ago…

The things you choose to show

Of all the things you choose to show

At a time when all i need was love

You didn’t

You showed rejection and a coldness

That I don’t think I was prepared for

And I don’t think you will be prepared for

After you see

What it has done to me

tonight.

Asphalt Dreams

4 a.m. blues

lightning bolt eyes
star kissed smile
i haven’t been fooled
by that face in awhile

words dipped sweet
kissed sugar lips
I drown in a rush
of slippery slips

you comfort me
with a whisper of sweet nothings
you relax me to sleep before the kill
and make me feel it’s such a thrill
your touch
is the clutch
that tangles me
and strangles me
softly
hard
and hardly soft
I open my eyes
to realize
a moment
too late
then forever gone
and so am I.

murdered by love
or assisted suicide
either way
a perfect way to die.




Mothers who can’t love

I’m listening to Mothers Who Can’t Love by Susan Forward, Donna Frazier Glynn, narrated by Susan Forward, Kathleen Gati, Julia Whelan, Cherise Boothe, David Atlas on my Audible app. Try Audible and get it here: https://www.audible.com/pd?asin=B00EOXMXT0&source_code=ASSORAP0511160006

This is where the story ends

People

I don’t know

Places i shouldn’t be

The problem is me

I wanted you to listen

I wanted you to hear

I wanted you to care

But You’re not here

And I’m not there

I give up on me

Cause that’s what everyone else has done

No reply

You stand there

Like a lost child

Like someone so out of place

Uncomfortable

unwanted

Uneven

You begin to see that YOU ARE THE JOKE

and it makes your lips tremble

As the lump in your throat

Begins to choke

The tears out

Of your eyes

Thank you

Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com


I’m in love.

That’s all.