I do appreciate

But it’s not you

It’s me

That I can’t fix

Sorry for wasting your time


feel bad inc.

my mind is hijacked

by a devil wanna be


wants me down

in the hole

he’s spent his whole life in

talks about justice and sin

no one ever wins

a race


with confusion

and complicated jabber

smoke screen face

and a mouth full of blabber

diabolical and habitual

is his gaslight

take flight


i feel so down and damaged and used

and abused

and so far away from who i used to be

he tells me i don’t know myself

and he’s right cause this ain’t me
this ain’t who i used to be
before he came into my life

and now….

i am… trying to feel what is actually real again

the devil’s trick
is to
to inflict
and to cause pain
by inconsistent acts
that stir
then cure
and blur
out the mess
they infest
with such charm
one doesn’t see the harm
they’re in
until it’s much too late.


this sucks

and i want to die

if i could i would

there comes a point

when there is no point

to any of this anymore

all it does is show me

you are no good

you don’t know how cruel you can be

you don’t know or care what you do and have done to me

i give up

i’m tired

i’m sick

of the cruel hearted

like you

the departed

but still alive enough to

spread your ugly evil around

close minded

not listening

to any truth (your truth is faulty cause of the holes in your brain)

but talking and fighting over lies

i guess you don’t realize

what you have done to my heart

to my soul

to by will

and that’s enough

for me to kill


like you killed my soul

and abused my heart

that’s enough to make me

it’s time for me to part

i leave this world

for you because of you

you love to destroy everything in your path

with every ugly mean word you say

with all of your wrath

you are a cruel cruel fool

you can forget about me now

you can forget

and let yourself believe

everything was me

and i’m the one to blame

it’s such a shame

that’s the only game you know how to play

instead of doing things a better way

it’s past that point

where i want to try

don’t ask me why

when you know

it’s you that pushed me

just to see if you could

i’ve been searching for a way

to get through this low

to get out of the negative

you make people feel

want to talk about something that is real

you won’t get another chance

cause i’m not living this another day through

you can’t even see how much hurt you do

when all i ever did was love you

but the more i loved you and the more i tried

the less you did

until a part of me died

now it will be all of me

you will never have to see me again

the last words you ever said to me

were fuck you

i hate you


now you know why i hate me too

it’s done. it’s over. i’m not here anymore. you lose.
any place will be better than living with a hateful destructive person like you.
i hope someone makes you feel exactly how you made me feel and it makes you have the balls to actually kill yourself too.

but i won’t be on the other side waiting for someone like you

ever again

thank you booze and thank you for all the pills in the world

so i can go to sleep and never wake up again.

Boy meets girl from outer space


Make my heart go boom boom boom!!!

Bpd misery

Automatic trigger

The Verbal gun

The velvet tongue

The nagging voice

Is like a Cancer

To my brain

Overall I’ve gotten better

But I’m still mostly the same

Don’t react

Don’t begin

To lose control

Don’t get caught up in

Your drunkard spin

I’d rather watch you drink

And sick yourself




To sit and watch you stay


You can’t beat

The army of people you mistreat

And expect them to have your back

The next time you attack

Someone new

Get a clue

You biggest enemy is you





., ,,



Reason to believe – Bruce Springsteen

Seen a man standin’ over a dead dog lyin’ by the highway in a ditch
He’s lookin’ down kinda puzzled pokin’ that dog with a stick
Got his car door flung open he’s standin’ out on Highway 31
Like if he stood there long enough that dog’d get up and run
It struck me kinda funny, seemed kinda funny sir to me
Still at the end of every hard earned day people find some reason to believe

Now Mary Lou loved Johnny with a love mean and true
She said “Baby I’ll work for you every day, bring my money home to you”
One day he up and left her and ever since that
She waits down at the end of that dirt road for young Johnny to come back
Struck me kinda funny, funny yeah to me
How at the end of every hard earned day people find some reason to believe

Take a baby to the river, Kyle William they called him
Wash the baby in the water, take away little Kyle’s sin
In a whitewash shotgun shack an old man passes away
Take his body to the graveyard, over him they pray
Lord won’t you tell us, tell us what does it mean
At the end of every hard earned day people find some reason to believe

Congregation gathers down by the riverside
Preacher stands with a Bible, groom stands waitin’ for his bride
Congregation gone and the sun sets behind a weepin’ willow tree
Groom stands alone and watches the river rush on so effortlessly
Wonderin’ where can his baby be
Still at the end of every hard earned day people find some reason to believe


taken from my personal facebook… I want to hear your opinions please


please comment below. share with friends… I would love to hear everyone’s thoughts, opinions and reasons…
don’t forget to subscribe and like if you like. 😉

thank you.

*respect is the key.

if we don’t agree with someone else’s views – ask questions- debate- do some research and state facts- but be respectful at all times. listen to one another. sometimes I think the majority of the problems in society start with not fully listening to one another and be too REACTIVE. Have an open mind and an open heart. i can honestly say that holding on to a set of beliefs so tightly and not wanting to hear anyone else’s perspective because of my “beliefs”, actually made me stupid. belief is a strong word… and a belief. in something that’s so strong without knowing and having an understanding of the other sides is dangerous. I try to be careful with my beliefs whether it be over use of the word itself or quickly subscribing to a belief without knowing all the facts and educating myself on the opposing views that are different than my own.

anyways – I’m am not pro or anti trump… what I mean by that is I accept he is our president and have respect for our country enough to act like an adult and to know that I am lucky in many ways to be an American. i posed this question because so many people hate our president and have no problems defacing property with crude and vulgar remarks about him, have no problem burning the American flag because of their disappointment in him getting voted into office… talk shit about our president on public forums and act pretty badly whenever speaking about him. in my opinion- by showing no respect for the man who was elected our president of the United States of America – makes us look bad. not to mention divided…and like little whiney baby’s who didn’t get our way. if we want to be treated with respect we have to be respectful regardless if we hate or love the guy. if you don’t agree with something he’s done or said… that’s fine and totally your right to voice it – but in a civil manner. maybe dive deeper into educating and researching how different media gets fed differently in different parts of the US. Maybe try to look for something positive he’s doing (if you don’t like him) and if you do like him try to understand the reasons behind why others don’t.

I think I can say as an American citizen – born and raised in California – I work hard for the money I make. I am not racist, I’m am not privileged, I’m not unkind. I am for people. my biggest concern is we have to be right as a country and help ourselves first and find a way together as Americans before we can help anyone else. I’m not opposed to people who come here from other countries and want to stay here because they may have more opportunities out here than where they are from. I think that is what America is made of and that’s why you find the most diversity out here than anywhere else in the world. However, if you do want to come and stay in America then do it the right way. Do it like my grandmother from Japan did in the 1950s. BECOME A CITIZEN. PAY TAXES LIKE THE REST OF US.
why would anyone get angry at us citizens wanting that from non-US citizens living out here illegally? think about that for a moment. if I went to any other country and decided I wanted to stay and live out there- I would have to do it the right way. once my visa was up- they would send me back – no if ands or butts.

you may hate my views on this subject but if you knew me and how much I want this world to be a better place you would understand that what I’m saying doesn’t come from a place of hate. it comes from a place of love and doing the right thing. Anyone who works hard to earn however much they make deserve that money from working hard. I love to help those who are in real need of help. I just feel that too many people out there who need to LEARN to help themselves. Some people are just lazy and take advantage of the system and the help they received. … I treat everyone I meet – with respect. it doesn’t mater to me what color you are or where you come from, how much money you have, how you look, or what you own. it’s how you conduct yourself that matters. how much integrity you have and kindness you share. it is about hard work. what you put in is what you’ll get in return.

I was going to continue with my thoughts on this but realized that i’m getting off course a bit. my question that I asked at the beginning of this post was no more than me being curious. not everyone is going to think and feel the same- but we should be able to voice our thoughts and opinions without cutting below the belt or getting out of control.

anyways I hope all of you have a beautiful and fulfilling day. please post your answers, feelings and thoughts in the comments below.

thank you. 🙂


I go to cvs on my way home


To not feel lonelier than I already do

You broke my heart

And you think I did you wrong

You have no heart

If you even think for a second that

That is true..

You have no idea what I feel

Cause you just don’t care.

You believe in things that are not real

And you leave people

To carry the pain and hurt

That you cause

And you go on

While I

Try to

But do not

I keep myself busy

To barely keep myself alive

I wasn’t like this before

I met you

And you destroyed me

I hope someday you feel

Exactly how you made me feel

My love for you was pure and true

And you made me become one of you.


And barely alive

A reminder

I have my Bullshit

Like everyone does

But right now

Right here

Let’s put that aside

And remember the love

All of you are beautiful

And we are in this together

Even when it feels like we’re not

Remember you are loved

Gonna make you mine

Late night


The time is fleeting

A smile across the table

I never get tired

Of smiling at you

Someday soon

It’s just a matter of time

Someday soon… Baby

I’m gonna make you mine.