weird feel

sit
staring at the lines
on a page
sounds
of this and that
I don’t know anymore

my body feels
the desire
the natural beating
and ticking of time
counting down
the hours
made into days
made into-
not that many years
LEFT
biology is weird
bodies are weird
age is weird
life is fucking weird.
time is running out
and fast

I’m a late bloomer
when it comes to things
that the rest of the world
seemed to figure out
long ago

every new
chubby little face
is just a reminder of
what I don’t have
what I may never have
what I threw away many years before

what a waste
how it is that
one day I was young
and now i’m on bordering on
OLD?

this is sick

fuck time frames
fuck windows
fuck restrictions
that I didn’t implement

I’m like a 4 year old child going on 80 but still with a 18 year old feel

ugh

family is all I’ve ever wanted
and yet the furthest thing away