rant…

if I tell you how your actions- words- comments behavior
and reactions
make me feel
– you just tell me
that it’s not real
–
everything I bring to light
you gaslight
and spin
and steal

making it about you
never about. me
when I’m hurt
it’s no big deal
to you- But
when you’re hurt
you’re out for the kill
and you do
murder my soul
piece by piece
little by little
the damage is big

and I can’t even dig
myself
out of this hole
I’m in now
with your passive aggressive verbal gun
on automatic trigger
trigger me back to
what I finally left behind
and
you don’t stop
until you’ve gone too far
and even then when you’re there
you never care
to be aware
you keep on
going
going
going
for the overkill

it takes all my will
not to just give up
give in
and let you win
I still manage to get back up
after all the times
you’ve pushed me down
why am I even still around???

listen to me (you won’t)
do you even hear my words? (you never do)
do you even care to watch me bleed (no you attack and run away)
after you’ve cut me down
to nothing
until there’s nothing left of me