Ha. I was dating one
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Crazy makers
Soul takers
Love fakers
Don’t give a fuck about
Trying to make you see
You might have lived more years than me
But you’re blind
And sometimes so very unkind
That I give up
You gave up on me
So I give up on you
It’s not worth my life
To try to be in yours
I like my men crazy about me
Like I’m crazy about them
I don’t like a man
That won’t let himself feel
Anything real
Cause they can’t deal with that shit
You take your own soul
And tried to destroy mine
Actuality did for awhile
Took my smile
Took my love
Taker faker
Trouble and crazy maker
You wouldn’t know a good thing
If it landed in your lap
If it hit you smack in the face
That face I shall now erase
Just as easily as it
For you to forget mine
My two cents
My two cents
Ain’t got a dime
For my time
To spend
I’m spent
wasted it wasting
It down
Town
On
You
Going round
And round
And if the river runs through
yet still
nobody can get through
to you
Then bless my stardumb!
You’re just another bum
You Let old nonsense
Turn you numb
And the best of you
But soon you will turn blue.
Leave the dying for the dead
Your worst enemy is
Your own head
And With that said
I’m on my way too
Out
I don’t think you really know what love is
That’s not a put down
That’s an honest observation
Is sad that you’re so stuck in the beliefs of a fool
Kinda like some religion makes you believe things and fear things you can’t see our haven’t seen
It’s sad that I’m paying the price for someone else’s fuck up
When I love you
And you treat me like I’m the worst human being
When I never cheated on you
I tried to move on wgeb you told me you wanted nothing to do with me cause you thought I was up to no good cause I have friends of the opposite sex who I’ve been friends with for decades and because I work at a bar.
You made me almost believe that I was doing something wrong
When I wasn’t and I’m not.
You speak to me as if I were the one who screwed you over and hurt you
You made me pay the price
Well it’s too bad for you that you’re so afraid of being hurt agsin that you actually make yourself believe that I’m hurting you.
Look at the facts
No one would be there like I had been.
No one would put up with that crazy shit and abusive shit you did. Treating me like a punching bag.
All because your afraid to change.
It’s sad cause I saw hope and love and light in you and you’d rather give up and be like everybody else. Too proud to admit that the problems that are you need change and that life is worth it. I’m worth it.
I can’t help that you don’t see that now.
You joke around and treat everything like they’re disposable.
That’s the kind of teaching you want to pass down?
All because of the hurt caused by people who are just like you. Not really living but just waiting to die. I’ve tried to reach out cause I thought there was good in you but you chose side of evil and anger and hate. Over nothing. Little things that upset us- we shouldn’t hold on to if we really love. We are suppose to see beyond the little mistakes and still give unconditional love cause we all do things sometimes that make the other person upset. You don’t trash someone over the small stuff.
You don’t trash someone you loved period.
I never cheated on you. I was always there for you and supported you and gave you love and did the best I could. You act like the kind of man that doesn’t deserve the title of a man cause you makes the one who loves you the most unconditionally ( me) hurt just because you can. Just because you hurt from things that aren’t even my fault. Just cause you haven’t really deals with your hurt. You just run away from it and so it will never go away.
No matter how many years you spend avoiding it…you haven’t dealt with it to make you understand it abd to make you get through it abd be able to let that past go. It’s easy to blame someone new and to take it out on them for what someone else did but what’s easy is done by the weak.
The reality is you will lose out. You had your chance to change and to open yourself up to love and no go back to negative beliefs.
You had your Chance to embrace love
Who cares if it’s a little scary and yeah we all could get hurt. But if you treat the people who really love you like you want to be treated then the right one will do the same.
Some day you will know and feel how true my love was… And how much I enjoyed you and how much love i had for you and how you just continued to stomp all over it. I think that when I’m gone now you will see it and feel it and regret it.
Cause you’ll know it
And you’ll know that everything you did only made me have to go away.
You gave up on you. I never did
But now I can’t hold on to someone who doesn’t even act like I matter.
I can’t hold on to someone who shows me so much hate and no love.
There’s no more i can and no more that I will do when you do nothing in return. I don’t have to go anymore. Your choice is yours. And so are the consequences
I will not reach out to someone who cares very little about me.
I will find someone who knows how to love and who isn’t afraid
Maybe not tomorrow maybe not today
But I’m not looking for that right now
But I will have it
And remember you as the one who never really loved me
The good times we spent will forever be in my heart
But you can’t be in my life being as negative and self destructive as you
Maybe I’ll see you again some day
Maybe I won’t
But I’m not holding my breath anymore
You’ve made!me do that far too long
And now I’m gone.
—
“don’t be afraid to open your eyes ”
“Warrented Queen“
–Arum Ray
it looks like the tide is calling
send off is drawing near
the whistle blowing
the commander’s on the phone
i wont know your thoughts when i’m gone
i wont have a lot to say
but i’ll be bored of smiling when it ain’t at you
and its alright, its alright
its alright, its alright
why you’e my hand-me-down jean
i’m your warranted queen
my mouth on your spoon
goodnight red balloon
you play your cards with a mystery face
and use your golden grace
i’ll be sending my guards to come find you
i don’t know where to fall
or if this is love at all
but your lips on mine have branded a sign
but its alright, its alright
it’s alright, it’s alright
you’re my hand-me-down jean
i’m your warranted queen
my mouth on your spoon
goodnight red balloon
its alright
Vegas blues
I do not miss
All the shit
He put me through
I don’t miss his attack
Or his lack
of self awareness
Or all the unfairness
I don’t miss all his bad
Which drove me mad
And made me sad
But I do miss
His kiss
And I miss the few moments
He made me feel
Unconditionally loved
And on my way out of state
He was the best travel companion
I’ve ever had
How can one man be so stupid
And so blind
Viva Las Vegas!
Ha.
Yeah
Mama needs a new pair of shoes
And a new knife
What a fucking life
Goodbye
I’d rather not
I’d rather not
Be around
People
Who I can’t trust
Cause they can’t trust
And because of that
They act in ways that
can’t be trusted.
This is not the kind of life I want to live
If this is a game for them
I don’t want to play
I’d rather not stay
Around
for the misfire
like a bird on a wire
From some liar
Or three
Just let me be
Free from all this toxicity
Cause that’s not who I am
And I don’t give a damn
If thats the way they wanna be
Just stay the fuck away from me.
Drunk rambling
On the street
From some loud man
Who can
NOT
Handle his booze
But if I had to walk a mile in his shoes
Maybe I would
NOT
Be so quick to judge
But I’m judging his aggressive
Invasion
Of my space
This is
NOT
The time or place
To be a mess
Cause all it does is stress
Me out
And make me I’ll
And want to kill
But then that feeling passes through
From black to blue
Whoo Hoi!!!
Noise noise and more noise
I can read between the lines
I can read the language you don’t speak in words
The writing on the wall is very clear
If you wanted to
You would be
Here.
Big man
Little man
Where do you stand
Little boy
I wasn’t made
For you
to be your little toy
When you come down
If you ever really do
Blabber and smoke
Treating everything
Like it’s one big joke
Laugh it up
Laugh out loud
And while you’re at it
Act so proud
Who you trying to fool
Yourself?
Or the crowd?
Maybe both
In the sky above
On the ground below
Who you really are begins to show
And it hurts only cause I let you in
I’m pretty sure lying
Is a Cardinal sin
Where does the false you end
And the real you begin?
Next time you hear about me
It will be because I’m happy and married and with someone who treats me like I matter
And you
Will always be alone
Always
Cause of your doing
You don’t know what appreciation is and how gratitude feels
All you want to do is trash any good I’ve given you
And you’re not fair
And I don’t like the way you’re treating me
Right now
So this time you lose
I’m sorry but I tried
More than anyone ever has and ever would and now
You don’t get anything from me
You made me feel like less of a person just cause you’re a piece of shit
I hope when karma comes around to You
It hurts like hell cause that’s what you’ve done to everyone.
You don’t need to know your history to know that you’re the problem. Always have been
Always will be.
Goodbye for good.
Compunction junction
Regret and grief
Meet
On the street
Of my mind
And my heart
Crossing paths
They often crash
Into each other
Or clash
From opposing views
It’s the same old news
But if you could think and feel
How I think and feel
It might reveal
to you
Something you never knew
Maybw you just don’t want to know
Cause it would break your heart
When the one you love is broken…
He’s broken and I tried
And now he’s left me
Broken too
Why do I bother
He never did
He never does
He just acts like he is the only one who matters in this world
And all the love i had for him
Never mattered
He trashes
Like someone trashed him
Thank you for passing that down
I hope the next girl is much better
Cause obviously I never was
And I never will be now…
