Ha. I was dating one



Crazy makers

Soul takers

Love fakers

Don’t give a fuck about

Trying to make you see

You might have lived more years than me

But you’re blind

And sometimes so very unkind

That I give up

You gave up on me

So I give up on you

It’s not worth my life

To try to be in yours

I like my men crazy about me

Like I’m crazy about them

I don’t like a man

That won’t let himself feel

Anything real

Cause they can’t deal with that shit

You take your own soul

And tried to destroy mine

Actuality did for awhile

Took my smile

Took my love

Taker faker

Trouble and crazy maker

You wouldn’t know a good thing

If it landed in your lap

If it hit you smack in the face

That face I shall now erase

Just as easily as it

For you to forget mine

My two cents

My two cents

Ain’t got a dime

For my time

To spend

I’m spent

wasted it wasting

It down




Going round

And round

And if the river runs through

yet still

nobody can get through

to you

Then bless my stardumb!

You’re just another bum

You Let old nonsense

Turn you numb

And the best of you

But soon you will turn blue.

Leave the dying for the dead

Your worst enemy is

Your own head

And With that said

I’m on my way too


I don’t think you really know what love is

That’s not a put down

That’s an honest observation

Is sad that you’re so stuck in the beliefs of a fool

Kinda like some religion makes you believe things and fear things you can’t see our haven’t seen

It’s sad that I’m paying the price for someone else’s fuck up

When I love you

And you treat me like I’m the worst human being

When I never cheated on you

I tried to move on wgeb you told me you wanted nothing to do with me cause you thought I was up to no good cause I have friends of the opposite sex who I’ve been friends with for decades and because I work at a bar.

You made me almost believe that I was doing something wrong

When I wasn’t and I’m not.

You speak to me as if I were the one who screwed you over and hurt you

You made me pay the price

Well it’s too bad for you that you’re so afraid of being hurt agsin that you actually make yourself believe that I’m hurting you.

Look at the facts

No one would be there like I had been.

No one would put up with that crazy shit and abusive shit you did. Treating me like a punching bag.

All because your afraid to change.

It’s sad cause I saw hope and love and light in you and you’d rather give up and be like everybody else. Too proud to admit that the problems that are you need change and that life is worth it. I’m worth it.

I can’t help that you don’t see that now.

You joke around and treat everything like they’re disposable.

That’s the kind of teaching you want to pass down?

All because of the hurt caused by people who are just like you. Not really living but just waiting to die. I’ve tried to reach out cause I thought there was good in you but you chose side of evil and anger and hate. Over nothing. Little things that upset us- we shouldn’t hold on to if we really love. We are suppose to see beyond the little mistakes and still give unconditional love cause we all do things sometimes that make the other person upset. You don’t trash someone over the small stuff.

You don’t trash someone you loved period.

I never cheated on you. I was always there for you and supported you and gave you love and did the best I could. You act like the kind of man that doesn’t deserve the title of a man cause you makes the one who loves you the most unconditionally ( me) hurt just because you can. Just because you hurt from things that aren’t even my fault. Just cause you haven’t really deals with your hurt. You just run away from it and so it will never go away.

No matter how many years you spend avoiding it…you haven’t dealt with it to make you understand it abd to make you get through it abd be able to let that past go. It’s easy to blame someone new and to take it out on them for what someone else did but what’s easy is done by the weak.

The reality is you will lose out. You had your chance to change and to open yourself up to love and no go back to negative beliefs.

You had your Chance to embrace love

Who cares if it’s a little scary and yeah we all could get hurt. But if you treat the people who really love you like you want to be treated then the right one will do the same.

Some day you will know and feel how true my love was… And how much I enjoyed you and how much love i had for you and how you just continued to stomp all over it. I think that when I’m gone now you will see it and feel it and regret it.

Cause you’ll know it

And you’ll know that everything you did only made me have to go away.

You gave up on you. I never did

But now I can’t hold on to someone who doesn’t even act like I matter.

I can’t hold on to someone who shows me so much hate and no love.

There’s no more i can and no more that I will do when you do nothing in return. I don’t have to go anymore. Your choice is yours. And so are the consequences

I will not reach out to someone who cares very little about me.

I will find someone who knows how to love and who isn’t afraid

Maybe not tomorrow maybe not today

But I’m not looking for that right now

But I will have it

And remember you as the one who never really loved me

The good times we spent will forever be in my heart

But you can’t be in my life being as negative and self destructive as you

Maybe I’ll see you again some day

Maybe I won’t

But I’m not holding my breath anymore

You’ve made!me do that far too long

And now I’m gone.

“don’t be afraid to open your eyes ”

Warrented Queen

Arum Ray

it looks like the tide is calling
send off is drawing near
the whistle blowing
the commander’s on the phone

i wont know your thoughts when i’m gone
i wont have a lot to say
but i’ll be bored of smiling when it ain’t at you

and its alright, its alright
its alright, its alright

why you’e my hand-me-down jean
i’m your warranted queen
my mouth on your spoon
goodnight red balloon

you play your cards with a mystery face
and use your golden grace
i’ll be sending my guards to come find you
i don’t know where to fall
or if this is love at all
but your lips on mine have branded a sign

but its alright, its alright
it’s alright, it’s alright

you’re my hand-me-down jean
i’m your warranted queen
my mouth on your spoon
goodnight red balloon

Vegas blues

I do not miss

All the shit

He put me through

I don’t miss his attack

Or his lack

of self awareness

Or all the unfairness

I don’t miss all his bad

Which drove me mad

And made me sad

But I do miss

His kiss

And I miss the few moments

He made me feel

Unconditionally loved

And on my way out of state

He was the best travel companion

I’ve ever had

How can one man be so stupid

And so blind

Viva Las Vegas!



Mama needs a new pair of shoes

And a new knife

What a fucking life


I’d rather not

I’d rather not

Be around


Who I can’t trust

Cause they can’t trust

And because of that

They act in ways that

can’t be trusted.

This is not the kind of life I want to live

If this is a game for them

I don’t want to play

I’d rather not stay


for the misfire

like a bird on a wire

From some liar

Or three

Just let me be

Free from all this toxicity

Cause that’s not who I am

And I don’t give a damn

If thats the way they wanna be

Just stay the fuck away from me.

Drunk rambling

On the street

From some loud man

Who can


Handle his booze

But if I had to walk a mile in his shoes

Maybe I would


Be so quick to judge

But I’m judging his aggressive


Of my space

This is


The time or place

To be a mess

Cause all it does is stress

Me out

And make me I’ll

And want to kill

But then that feeling passes through

From black to blue

Whoo Hoi!!!

Noise noise and more noise

I can read between the lines

I can read the language you don’t speak in words

The writing on the wall is very clear

If you wanted to

You would be


Big man

Little man

Where do you stand

Little boy

I wasn’t made

For you

to be your little toy

When you come down

If you ever really do

Blabber and smoke

Treating everything

Like it’s one big joke

Laugh it up

Laugh out loud

And while you’re at it

Act so proud

Who you trying to fool


Or the crowd?

Maybe both

In the sky above

On the ground below

Who you really are begins to show

And it hurts only cause I let you in

I’m pretty sure lying

Is a Cardinal sin

Where does the false you end

And the real you begin?

Next time you hear about me

It will be because I’m happy and married and with someone who treats me like I matter

And you

Will always be alone


Cause of your doing

You don’t know what appreciation is and how gratitude feels

All you want to do is trash any good I’ve given you

And you’re not fair

And I don’t like the way you’re treating me

Right now

So this time you lose

I’m sorry but I tried

More than anyone ever has and ever would and now

You don’t get anything from me

You made me feel like less of a person just cause you’re a piece of shit

I hope when karma comes around to You

It hurts like hell cause that’s what you’ve done to everyone.

You don’t need to know your history to know that you’re the problem. Always have been

Always will be.

Goodbye for good.

Compunction junction

Regret and grief


On the street

Of my mind

And my heart

Crossing paths

They often crash

Into each other

Or clash

From opposing views

It’s the same old news

But if you could think and feel

How I think and feel

It might reveal

to you

Something you never knew

Maybw you just don’t want to know

Cause it would break your heart

When the one you love is broken…

He’s broken and I tried

And now he’s left me

Broken too

Why do I bother

He never did

He never does

He just acts like he is the only one who matters in this world

And all the love i had for him

Never mattered

He trashes

Like someone trashed him

Thank you for passing that down

I hope the next girl is much better

Cause obviously I never was

And I never will be now…