skin loves fever

Why is it so hard for you

To see things from my point of view

If you only knew.

If you only knew

What i feel

How I feel

How you make me feel

Why can’t you see

How much I care and how much I try

And all the greif you put me through

Makes me wonder why

You look for reasons

That aren’t there

Why would you try to find the fault in someone you love

Why not build me up for the better

Instead of bashing me down

You want me to hate something in myself

That isn’t true.

I’ve tried so hard to just be good to you

And you just don’t give a fuck

About me

Or about what you do

Maybe that’s the problem with you

You hurt my feelings

Cause you believe I’m some way I’m not.

Then you act as if I am and that isn’t fair.

It just pushes me away.

Maybe it’s all you know

Maybe it’s all you know how to do

But it really makes me feel bad about something that I’m not even doing and that I can’t control.

I can’t control what you think and feel

But if you could just be me for a day

You would know how I feel.

And you would understand me and see how much I love and care for you and i would never do something to hurt you just to hurt you.

Sometimes i just don’t feel like you want to see the best in me cause you’re too busy looking for the worst or the making things into the worst when they’re not.

I’m not perfect. I’m still learning too.

But you do hurt my feelings sometimes by treating me like that.

I deserve love just like everyone else does.

If the world is going to end anyways and I am going to end someday… Might as well make the best of right now.

I don’t like feeling of how quick you are to hurt me the minute you think I’m doing something that’s gonna hurt you. You react before you even know.

Ugh

broken nose and a busted knee
i can’t walk and i can’t breathe
so no work
no money made
no do
no see
no going out
no fun
when will this shit
ever be done?
it never is
after you get through one thing
another thing takes it’s place
life is a never ending
ball-busting
rat race
i can’t face

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You’re a dead man

Barely walking

Stupid talking

Emotional

Then so emotionless

You cause yourself a lot of stress

By the shit you say

And say

Over and over again

but never do

You play the part

Like you got a clue

But then you act out

And show everyone you don’t

You don’t back that mouth up

You are too weak to change

No care to care about

Anyone or anything

Not even yourself

You only care to defend what makes you wrong

Same old story

Same old song

No one wants to hear your words

No one wants to see your face

While you chase

the ugly dragon

Waste your life

Around

The same old circle

Again and again

Never getting anywhere

You’re head

Up in the clouds

You’re a dead man

Barely walking

Barely there

Shitty attitude

For a shitty you

And that’s the you

You have decided to choose

Matter over mind

Drugs over friends

Over music

Over living

Over you

I can’t trust anyone

Especially the ones who try so hard to make me believe I can.

No more

Me

Around

Waiting to get fucked with

EVER

AGAIN

you got another thing coming.

I’m going

I ain’t got no friend

Say goodbye

Say goodnight

This shit is about to end

I.

NEED.

HELP.

IN SEARCH OF A REAL PERSON/ FRIEND

( WHO FOLLOWS THROUGH WITH HIS/HER WORD AND WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT COMMITMENTS AND FRIENDSHIP RESPECT MORE THAN JUST TEMPORARY BULLSHIT THAT DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING TOMORROW ) SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T JUST TALK UP A BUNCH OF SHIT AND NOT BACK IT UP.

NO FLAKES

NO PHONIES

NO BULLSHITERS

NO DRUG ADDICTS/ DEALERS UNLESS YOU HAVE A GOOD HEART AND ARE THE BEST OF THE BEST. NO STARVING DRUG DEALERS WHO ARE STURUGGLING TO DO THAT YET STILL WON’T GET A REAL JOB THAT ACTUALLY HELPS YOU

NO INSECURE PEOPLE WHO DON’T KNOW THEMSELVES BUT TALK A BIG GAME JUST TO DRAW ME IN AND MAKE THEMSELVES SOUND MORE IMPORTANT THAN THEY ARE.

NO BULLSHIT

ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS NOW

😉

Thank you

For the nice day

I had a great yoga class

Spent time with someone who means a lot to me.

Went to work

Saw some nice people

The weather was good

Stayed away from things that didn’t feel right to me

Got home safely

Got to spend time with my cats

for the most part

It was a pretty good day

And that’s something I am grateful for.

I know you’ll never love me as much as you loved her.

…

It’s lonely in here

When you’re mad at me

For believing shit that isn’t true

And it kills a piece of my heart

To know you don’t care to hear me

You don’t care to want to treat me nice

You don’t care to see the truth

Not what you think or believe

But what actually happened

I wish I was important enough

To you

To have your trust and love and understanding

To not feel this loneliness and this bad

Right now

I don’t understand why I matter so little

To you

When you matter to me

I try to be different and better than I have been

And it still seems like it just isn’t good enough

I’m not good enough

Again