tonight

i’m listening to dylan
freewheelin’ bob dylan
on vinyl
on a really bad ass record player
in my basement
cause it sounds better than any other way
and cause it felt right.

and tonight
i feel a lot…
and don’t have it in me anymore,
to go on about it the same way as before-
but i will go about it -my way.
we all have our own way of mourning,
we all have our own way of letting go,
we have have our own way-
of saying goodbye.

my way is setting shit on fire,
the past is gone,
it’s just a goodbye.
you can’t change it
you can’t live in it
the past is gone
you can hold on
but it’s just a waste of time
leave the past-
that still occupies the brain,
and the heart,
and the life
behind.
holding on only makes
the past live
while YOU –
slowly die.
the past should be remembered and cherished
held in your heart and mind
to teach, to learn, to grow and to love.
i see so many people
haunted by ghosts
of regret and glory
i don’t want your picture
i don’t want the letters or notes or gifts from you
way back when
i don’t want any reminder of something that was so quickly cut out of my life
like it meant nothing
so now it means nothing
to set it on fire
and watch it burn
tonight i spent watching it burn away ‘)