It takes a lot

I’m spent

I’m tired

I feel like nothing I do

Matters

Or pays off

I try

And love

So much

But it does me no good

And that’s who i am

But it doesn’t matter much

To anyone else.

I wake up

I smile

I go into things

With the right kind of mind

But all I seem to find

Is the same things

That don’t care

About very much if at all about me.

I never felt protected

I never felt safe

And now

I even more alone

I just don’t know what to do

When I try to talk

To you

I just get ignored.

It gets old

And I don’t want to be

The person that it’s okay to just throw away

Anymore

I matter?

Maybe I don’t

I don’t.

Or I wouldn’t be

Here.

Right now

Feeling like who I am

Is not good enough

To love

Or to nurture.

I wish

I meant something more

To you