That you need to be so mean
On a day
Where I lost
Someone who meant a lot
If I had lost you
I’d be worse
But you only see
The attention i give
Someone
I’ll never see again
And you fail to see
The attention i constantly give you
If I fail to give it for a moment
The way you desire it
But never communicate you desire it
You’re a child
Not a man
You will never
Understand
How much it hurts
To have to deal with this
And then to have to have to deal with you
But i love you
Bit you don’t care
And you don’t try
And you don’t show
And you don’t do anything
That makes me feel
Like I matter
At the very least
If you love me
Than love me fully
Who cares about looking like a fool
?
If you love me and I do something foolish
I’m the one who looks like the fool
Not you
But don’t go back and fourth and be fickle with your feelings
I’m not
I just don’t want to be treated like a punching bag
Tonight
I can’t stand on my own
Without shaking
I can’t talk
Without my voice quivering
I dint know what to do
Without breaking down
And I’m alone
Without you.
And you don’t even care to try to be any other way than mean
So what can i do?
I have to deal with losing my best friend
And losing my love
While still maintaining my self and self worth
Without knowing really how
I’m lost
I’m lonely
And I’m aching
And I don’t know how to make it stop
Maybe tomorrow
Ill know what to do
Or I won’t feel the way i feel now
Maybe not
But i don’t know how
To get through
The next few hours
Of being alone with myself
Until i finally pass out
With the feelings i have right now
And still make it out okay
Cause I’m not okay
And I’m not that strong
I’m not as strong as you may think
I’m not strong at all
Right now
I’m not much
More
Than just
Some stretched leather
Stitched up around some stuffing
There for you to punch
Left for you to ignore
Cobwebs have cobwebs
And I have the feeling
Of a memory
That has now become old
That only I continue to hold
That you have long ago sold
For cheap thrills and lies
….
skin loves fever 