Have I been that terrible?

That you need to be so mean

On a day

Where I lost

Someone who meant a lot

If I had lost you

I’d be worse

But you only see

The attention i give

Someone

I’ll never see again

And you fail to see

The attention i constantly give you

If I fail to give it for a moment

The way you desire it

But never communicate you desire it

You’re a child

Not a man

You will never

Understand

How much it hurts

To have to deal with this

And then to have to have to deal with you

But i love you

Bit you don’t care

And you don’t try

And you don’t show

And you don’t do anything

That makes me feel

Like I matter

At the very least

If you love me

Than love me fully

Who cares about looking like a fool

?

If you love me and I do something foolish

I’m the one who looks like the fool

Not you

But don’t go back and fourth and be fickle with your feelings

I’m not

I just don’t want to be treated like a punching bag

Tonight

I can’t stand on my own

Without shaking

I can’t talk

Without my voice quivering

I dint know what to do

Without breaking down

And I’m alone

Without you.

And you don’t even care to try to be any other way than mean

So what can i do?

I have to deal with losing my best friend

And losing my love

While still maintaining my self and self worth

Without knowing really how

I’m lost

I’m lonely

And I’m aching

And I don’t know how to make it stop

Maybe tomorrow

Ill know what to do

Or I won’t feel the way i feel now

Maybe not

But i don’t know how

To get through

The next few hours

Of being alone with myself

Until i finally pass out

With the feelings i have right now

And still make it out okay

Cause I’m not okay

And I’m not that strong

I’m not as strong as you may think

I’m not strong at all

Right now

I’m not much

More

Than just

Some stretched leather

Stitched up around some stuffing

There for you to punch

Left for you to ignore

Cobwebs have cobwebs

And I have the feeling

Of a memory

That has now become old

That only I continue to hold

That you have long ago sold

For cheap thrills and lies

….

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