I don’t think you really know what love is

That’s not a put down

That’s an honest observation

Is sad that you’re so stuck in the beliefs of a fool

Kinda like some religion makes you believe things and fear things you can’t see our haven’t seen

It’s sad that I’m paying the price for someone else’s fuck up

When I love you

And you treat me like I’m the worst human being

When I never cheated on you

I tried to move on wgeb you told me you wanted nothing to do with me cause you thought I was up to no good cause I have friends of the opposite sex who I’ve been friends with for decades and because I work at a bar.

You made me almost believe that I was doing something wrong

When I wasn’t and I’m not.

You speak to me as if I were the one who screwed you over and hurt you

You made me pay the price

Well it’s too bad for you that you’re so afraid of being hurt agsin that you actually make yourself believe that I’m hurting you.

Look at the facts

No one would be there like I had been.

No one would put up with that crazy shit and abusive shit you did. Treating me like a punching bag.

All because your afraid to change.

It’s sad cause I saw hope and love and light in you and you’d rather give up and be like everybody else. Too proud to admit that the problems that are you need change and that life is worth it. I’m worth it.

I can’t help that you don’t see that now.

You joke around and treat everything like they’re disposable.

That’s the kind of teaching you want to pass down?

All because of the hurt caused by people who are just like you. Not really living but just waiting to die. I’ve tried to reach out cause I thought there was good in you but you chose side of evil and anger and hate. Over nothing. Little things that upset us- we shouldn’t hold on to if we really love. We are suppose to see beyond the little mistakes and still give unconditional love cause we all do things sometimes that make the other person upset. You don’t trash someone over the small stuff.

You don’t trash someone you loved period.

I never cheated on you. I was always there for you and supported you and gave you love and did the best I could. You act like the kind of man that doesn’t deserve the title of a man cause you makes the one who loves you the most unconditionally ( me) hurt just because you can. Just because you hurt from things that aren’t even my fault. Just cause you haven’t really deals with your hurt. You just run away from it and so it will never go away.

No matter how many years you spend avoiding it…you haven’t dealt with it to make you understand it abd to make you get through it abd be able to let that past go. It’s easy to blame someone new and to take it out on them for what someone else did but what’s easy is done by the weak.

The reality is you will lose out. You had your chance to change and to open yourself up to love and no go back to negative beliefs.

You had your Chance to embrace love

Who cares if it’s a little scary and yeah we all could get hurt. But if you treat the people who really love you like you want to be treated then the right one will do the same.

Some day you will know and feel how true my love was… And how much I enjoyed you and how much love i had for you and how you just continued to stomp all over it. I think that when I’m gone now you will see it and feel it and regret it.

Cause you’ll know it

And you’ll know that everything you did only made me have to go away.

You gave up on you. I never did

But now I can’t hold on to someone who doesn’t even act like I matter.

I can’t hold on to someone who shows me so much hate and no love.

There’s no more i can and no more that I will do when you do nothing in return. I don’t have to go anymore. Your choice is yours. And so are the consequences

I will not reach out to someone who cares very little about me.

I will find someone who knows how to love and who isn’t afraid

Maybe not tomorrow maybe not today

But I’m not looking for that right now

But I will have it

And remember you as the one who never really loved me

The good times we spent will forever be in my heart

But you can’t be in my life being as negative and self destructive as you

Maybe I’ll see you again some day

Maybe I won’t

But I’m not holding my breath anymore

You’ve made!me do that far too long

And now I’m gone.

“don’t be afraid to open your eyes ”

Warrented Queen

Arum Ray

it looks like the tide is calling
send off is drawing near
the whistle blowing
the commander’s on the phone

i wont know your thoughts when i’m gone
i wont have a lot to say
but i’ll be bored of smiling when it ain’t at you

and its alright, its alright
its alright, its alright

why you’e my hand-me-down jean
i’m your warranted queen
my mouth on your spoon
goodnight red balloon

you play your cards with a mystery face
and use your golden grace
i’ll be sending my guards to come find you
i don’t know where to fall
or if this is love at all
but your lips on mine have branded a sign

but its alright, its alright
it’s alright, it’s alright

you’re my hand-me-down jean
i’m your warranted queen
my mouth on your spoon
goodnight red balloon

Author: b-side junkie

artist/designer, music lover, b-side junkie, writer, bartender, animal lover..."feelist"... Mad mime

2 thoughts on “I don’t think you really know what love is”

  1. thank you again…. sometimes i go back and read my comments and i really appreciate this comment coming from you. your blog is one of my most favorite blogs out there… your writing is just so enjoyable to read. thank you!


  2. Showing us how vulnerable you are makes you stronger than the rest of us. you wear your heart on your sleeve; for this we learn and are grateful. I do hope you find the Love you’re looking for.

    p.s. I highly appreciate you stopping by to read from time to time. I hope you have an awesome day.

    Liked by 1 person

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