Thursday July 9 2020 12:25am

I wanted to feel loved

I wanted to matter enough to someone

I wanted to give love and trust that someone would give it back in times that were rough

But it’s hard for people to be kind

When they don’t like something

Or when something or someone makes them feel something they don’t want to feel.

People fail each other all the time

It just hurts me in a different way because I don’t give my true self to just anyone

And when I do

I’m trusting that they won’t reject or mistreat that part of me – that’s like a child

I’m grateful for the things I’ve been given

I just wanted you to understand me and be kind.

I didn’t want to feel like this again

Abandoned stupid and misunderstood

If you listen you will know what is needed

And if you don’t know

Then maybe you didn’t really want to listen

My feelings are valid

My efforts were true

Love is not shutting someone down or out when they are being difficult or too much

Love is feeling the other person. going inside their head and body and feeling through their heart and seeing things through their eyes and helping them feel safe.

Empathy

Too much to ask of one another

I guess so

I’m sorry

The things I tried to tell you

You did not care or want to know.

Everything led me to where i am now

Not a place I would want anyone else to be

Do you feel me?

Do you feel me?

Do you feel me now?

Will you only feel me

When I have gone?

Or maybe you’ll never feel me at all.

…

I’m sorry