I think when someone speaks and is sharing something with someone else – if the other person listening is really interested in what the person sharing has to say will listen and try to find a way to relate and shares back how they relate as a way to convey that they understand or are trying to understand . That’s not trying to take away anything from the person sharing. It’s a way of connecting

Now if one person expressing themselves to another or sharing something with another gets a reaction or is immediately cut off and not listened to it creates a lack of connection and makes the person trying to share feel unimportant or not listened to. There’s no listening or relating or connecting.

If someone is sharing something to someone else as a way of getting to teach the other person something – it’s very important to not point out faults in the person they are trying to help. It’s not helpful when one person acts like they know everything about the situation the other is going through. Especially when they don’t listen to the specific situation or experience and feelings of the person they are trying to “help”

It’s not that the person trying to help had any bad intentions they just aren’t effectively teaching anything. It’s their approach that creates tension.

In the same regard the person they are trying to teach isn’t just “not ready” or “not listening” or “un-teachable” most likely they feel attacked or don’t feel open to hearing what someone with that kind of approach has to say especially when the person trying to help doesn’t care to listen to how they feel or what they want to express.

Both aren’t wrong.

However the person wanting to help and teach has to be aware of their approach and deliverance in order for them to actually get through or reach the person they are trying to help

It should be a conversation that comes from the heart

Practicing radical acceptance

The more you try to push someone to change or to listen to you cause you think you know better – the less someone wants to listen.

And no one wants to listen to someone who doesn’t listen to them in return

Author: b-side junkie

artist/designer, music lover, b-side junkie, writer, bartender, animal lover..."feelist"... Mad mime

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