This is what

I never wanted to feel again

But this time

Will be the last

Things come and go so fast

I’m always left behind

Without a thought

Oh well

You got

What you wanted

At my expense

But I’m out

My heart hurts too much

And it’s all coming to a vicious end anyways

Nothing good ever stays

So long. .. Long long

Gone

Thank you

Goodnight

Goodbye

Bye bye

Fly fly

Sigh sigh

Die die

Bye

Sometimes I wish

You could be as wonderful as you are

When we are together

And laughing

And loving

Moments like these that are more difficult

Don’t need to stay this way

But you need to make an effort and dedicate yourself to making it better – for each other.

Not give up

Like you always do

Giving up when it gets hard is so easy and weak.

I didn’t think that would be you

But I guess I was wrong.

Sometimes I wish

You could be as wonderful as you are

When we are together

And laughing

And loving

Moments like these that are more difficult

Don’t need to stay this way

But you need to make an effort and dedicate yourself to making it better – for each other.

Not give up

Like you always do

Giving up when it gets hard is so easy and weak.

I didn’t think that would be you

But I guess I was wrong.

I think when someone speaks and is sharing something with someone else – if the other person listening is really interested in what the person sharing has to say will listen and try to find a way to related and shares back how they relate as a way to convey that they understand or are trying to understand . That’s not trying to take away anything from the person sharing. It’s a way of connecting

Now if one person expressing themselves to another or sharing something with another gets a reaction or is immediately cut off and not listened to it creates a lack of connection and makes the person trying to share feel unimportant or not listened to. There’s no listening or relating or connecting.

If someone is sharing something to someone else as a way of getting to teach the other person something – it’s very important to not point out faults in the person they are trying to help. It’s not helpful when one person acts like they know everything about the situation the other is going through. Especially when they don’t listen to the specific situation or experience and feelings of the person they are trying to “help”

It’s not that the person trying to help had any bad intentions they just aren’t effectively teaching anything. It’s their approach that creates tension.

In the same regard the person they are trying to teach isn’t just “not ready” or “not listening” or “un-teachable” most likely they feel attacked or don’t feel open to hearing what someone with that kind of approach has to say especially when the person trying to help doesn’t care to listen to how they feel or what they want to express.

Both aren’t wrong.

However the person wanting to help and teach has to be aware of their approach and deliverance in order for them to actually get through or reach the person they are trying to help

It should be a conversation that comes from the heart

Practicing radical acceptance

The more you try to push someone to change or to listen to you cause you think you know better – the less someone wants to listen.

And no one wants to listen to someone who doesn’t listen to them in return

Tonight

Was a great night

Where is my home?

Why do I feel like I’m not home?

I kept busy today

Had a lot to do

But I still don’t feel at home

I am just fine

I am just okay

I am great

Down in the park is playing

And people are talking

Katy put the shelf I bought for under my bathroom sink together

No one else could figure it out

I played drums until my fingers bled

I made a lot of drinks

And didn’t wear any makeup

Everything was nice tonight

But I still don’t feel at home

Why don’t i feel at home?

Wanna go for a ride?

Brush it

Under

The rug

That is your cover

You don’t have to be a lover

But a hater?

Be more original

Or don’t be at all

Die by the morning

The minute I enter

A different zip code

I have already begun

Mourning you.

I will not attend your funeral

Wearing robes of black

Draped down to the ground

And you even further below

I will not shed a tear

In public

I will not visit your grave

Jealous eyes

Are watching

Me

Forgetting you

They won’t be saved

The ground we walk on

Is shifting

Ever so slightly

The things you’ve done

Aren’t taken so lightly

It’s time to start a new

Goodbye

Rest well

For the long sleep

And the long farewell

This finale is long overdo

please let me keep this memory

random thoughts
took a train
i don’t feel very well today
pages ripped out
Hi Hello Hi
Do I know you?
It changes a lot.
you don’t know, do you?
You are lost and gone forever
Take care then
I have lots of drinks
Two Blue Ruins
Come On.
I mean, it’s just blank
a night picnic
Ouch! Fuck it.
what if it breaks?
i don’t… know any.
i’m so tired
what are you doing here?
i have to go to sleep now
quiet
get it off your head
she looks at me like she doesn’t even know who i am
why?
give it a rest
make a clean break
excuse me?
i apologize
was not happy and wanted to move on
she’s like that
why? why? why?
we want to empty your home
we want to empty your life
wake up
work backwards from there
nothing you’ll miss
i don’t understand
I don’t know if i like this
Just take it easy.
This is the last time i saw you
our situation is a little weird
do you have any idea?
you’re not ready.
it’s going it’s going
all the pain confusion
Poor guy
beyond good and evil
you don’t tell me things
i tell your everything
what do you write in there?
i don’t know
do you love me?
let him go
to let people begin again
it’s beautiful
adults are this mess of sadness
make it all go away
nothing makes any sense.
nothing makes any sense.
nothing makes any sense

August

August comes from the Latin word augustus, meaning “consecrated” or “venerable,” which in turn is related to the Latin augur, meaning “consecrated by augury or “auspicious.” In 8 B.C. the Roman Senate honored Augustus Caesar, the first Roman emperor, by changing the name of their month “Sextilis” to “Augustus.”

The air is hot

And you can’t even breathe

Without tears (of sweat)

Pouring down your face

Now has come the time

To disappear without a trace

Will anything

Or anyone

Be missed

?

I don’t know

Maybe after

Right now we think this is hell

But where we go

And end up

Might be much

Much worse

I just might

So something so crazy

Just to deal

Just to permanently seal

And make whatever it is real

So I won’t ever fall into the trap

Of falling in love

With you again

But who am I kidding

I love life

But dying seems like a much better option

If who I love

Has the capacity

To be so cruel.

Funny thing is

I’m hurt

But I’m not sad

You get used to it

Nobody should get use to that

I’m sorry for the past but you’re doing it now

And you know better

And you do it with intent

But all I have is love for you

Even if I never see you again

sux ♾

Slip the tongue

Night is new

There’s a door

Right there

Come on

Sleepy time

Let me get you a blanket

I changed my mind

I think I needed this

I have to go

Drummer unknown

Thank you.

Oh no

This is a nightmare

I take you for a ride

In a garbage truck

You know you want to ride

Crash

What did I do?

What do I do?

Alright.

Krash

Does anyone need another drink?

I skimmed it

Is he a pirate?

Are you a pirate?

In the 7th grade

Kissy Kissy

Mystical powers

I know I’m slick

Maybe you’ll see

Defeat

That poor angel today

Hey

I’m too old for you

You are the salt of the earth

Whether they’re old new or new new

It’s all blue

On my mind

It was

It wasn’t

Let’s go get a beer

And that’s a wrap

moonquake

whispers fade
a wounded wolf calls out
heaven and hell in my heart
never apart
glowing moon again
waits
a sparrow weeps
eyes glisten on my face
with a trace
of joy
luminous comforts
broken hearts beat
and meet
the mocking bird in my room
soft
still remorseful
gray clouds
pails of tears spill
ferris wheels go round and round
can you feel it still?