Uncategorized – Page 17 – skin loves fever

Holidays

Maybe I’m here

Without any way

In knowing how to

Do the things I want to do

Say the words I want to say

Be the me I want to be

I just don’t know

How to feel comfortable

Being me

Me being me being me being me being me being me

The blue bus is calling us

With pen in hand

I walk

With

Without

I am not with you

This is what you want

Then this is what you get

You are free

From me

This is nothing new

Remove

Forget

Set

the clock back

To before

I am nothing

And nothing more

To you

Wish it away

Burn it away

Bleed it out

Out

<p value="<amp-fit-text layout="fixed-height" min-font-size="6" max-font-size="72" height="80">Out and awayOut and away

-kyoko

Fade out

Finished all my school work

Now it’s almost the end of the day

There is nothing I can do

Nothing I can say

One day begins and ends

And blends

Into the month

It’s almost been a year

What’s happening now?

Is not very clear

I can’t trust people

Who cannot be trusted

That seems to be

Almost everyone

Ha you got busted!

Nowhere left to run

Blur. Blur

Uh huh Her

Your eyes and head

Play tricks on you

Everything you thought

You knew

Is wrong

But

It’s me who does not belong

I don’t belong

Take another month

Take Another year

By the time

The news hits your ear

It’s been a long time gone

You did this one too many times

To make it all be okay

now

It won’t ever be okay again

It’s around the corner

Regret is coming round the bend

For you

I’ve had enough

And where I’m going

You can’t take regret along with you

When these words have gained years in wisdom

When these words begin to fade

Without a trail of breadcrumbs

To lead the way

There is no way

Just a shallow grave

Somewhere

Maybe

But no more

Of my Love

For you to throw away

When this stops

remember me

that day

Pinch yourself

It’s not a dream

Fade out

You try to scream

But nothing comes out

The ship sank

But The captain didn’t go down with the boat

Cowards

Fakes

Liars

And cheats

Always seem to stay afloat

This place must be

Pretty close to hell

I don’t want to buy

The shit you’re trying to sell

Beam me up Scotty

its about that time

I can’t say I’m gonna miss

This

So I won’t

vale

Sat here all night

And waited to see

What you would do

But you didn’t do anything

You told me I’d been replaced

You laugh in my face

You throw me away

You trash my love

And beat down my heart

I tried to deal

I tried to be okay

But the fact that it’s so easy for you

To discard me

Makes me feel

The worst possible way

I don’t know what to say

I guess i have nothing left

To do

To say

It’s better to just go away

again

you’re never there

when i needed you

You’re never there

…

Everything you do

You broke me

You dangle love by a string you like to tug away

I’ve given you so much time

To change

To say

Something

Anything

But inatead you

Ignore

I’m really hurt

And you need to learn

What you do

Hurts people

And makes them go away for good.

I’m sorry you don’t understand

…

conversations with myself
when I’m left
with the mess
of twisted / tangled
discard
I hate this
I wish you hated it too
so much that you would just
be here
but that is not the way it is
ever.
god…
I’m sad
I’m fucking sad
that this is how it is

what kind of god wants to see people suffer over and over and over and over again? it’s never ending

the punishment doesn’t fit the crime. – the non existent crime.
living

what kind of people want to see others hurt?

a sadistic god
creating sadistic people
I want off your fucking crazy train
coo coo ca Choo Choo

know who the real enemy is
or do “BIG” men like to piss on little trees
cause they have small dicks

I don’t fucking know

and I don’t fucking care

I’ve had enough

it seems stupid

and pointless

to keep on going and going in a world-
in a life
that is suffering

no.

you win

Defective

Throw me a bone

Give me a fucking break

I’m giving up.

There is no other way

To make me feel whole again

You win

I knew

You never really loved me.

It’s okay.

I’m not going to lie just to keep you around

you hurt my heart
but it’s happened before
so if you’re trying to break me
(you already have)
if you’re trying to make me
(someone I’m not)
if you don’t get your way
then you’re done
if I don’t say
sorry all the time
for things I’m not sorry for
yet you never apologize for anything
you do
then why am I trying so hard
to be with you?
you’re not trying to be with me
you’re just trying to make me do what you want
and I need to be good to myself
(you’ll never be)
I appreciate the things you’ve done for me
but it doesn’t take away
all the things you take away
from my soul
how would you feel?
I don’t think you do
you have no empathy
so I don’t think you can understand
(anyone other than yourself)

whatever the case is.
love isn’t what you give
love isn’t what I feel from you
you want control.
you need to always be right
even when you act wrong
there is no compromise
or respect from you
loving you
is killing me
and YOU WILL NEVER SEE
(yourself)
when all you see
is the wrong
and the bad
of me (that you believe)
I know I’m more than you allow me to be
and now I see
that you’ll never see
how you are.