Ok so because we are friends

I guess I realized I did have a mini crush on you
Without wanting to
Cause I know better
So now I will take a few weeks
To get over it
And be back to the way it always was
The way we have always been
Friends
Just friends

Advertisements

tonight

i’m listening to dylan
freewheelin’ bob dylan
on vinyl
on a really bad ass record player
in my basement
cause it sounds better than any other way
and cause it felt right.

and tonight
i feel a lot
and don’t have it in me anymore
to go on about it the same way
but i will go about it my way
and we all have our own way of mourning
we all have our own way of letting go
or saying goodbye

my way is setting shit on fire
the past is just a goodbye
and the stuff of the past is holding on to the dead the still occupy you brain and heart and life
it lives just by holding on to it
why hold onto the ghost ?
sounds like torture but we do it all the time
i don’t want your picture
i don’t want the letters or notes or gifts from you
way back when
i don’t want any reminder of something that was so quickly cut out of my life
like it meant nothing
so now it means nothing
to set it on fire
and watch it burn
tonight i spent watching it burn away ‘)

unnamed-1 unnamed

you are my sunshine my only sunshine – merry christmas

when you sang that song for me
20 + years ago now
i was laying next to you in bed
and i remember crying because i knew how special i was
for you to show me that affection and say i love you
when you grew up without it
and you were brought up to not show it
in our culture and our family it’s not something you do
but for me you did
and i cried at that moment knowing that someday it
and you and everything that means the most to me
would be gone
i was 11 and i knew it then
now i”m 33 and i still know it but now i have to face it and
i don’t want to say goodbye
memories of what was
and what will never be again
– in the many things that i’ve known and loved
i miss
and will forever miss
i wish i could go back
and live it all over again
even the bad cause those moments with you mean the most
my childhood was blessed with a grandmother who loved me
and did everything she could for me
and it hurts to look back at what you had
and see that you did not know what you had
while you had it –
and know that you will never have that again
– it doesn’t take away from the great things to come
i just miss those times
that as a child you think will always stay the same
and you never think about how drastically things change and disappear and die
and are lost with the years that creep by you ever so quickly
and i will forever miss it
and i will forever miss and love her
she always loved me and was there for me
when no one else was
-here is no home base now
there is no safe place
to fall back if needed
there is no one there now to take care of me
cause sometimes i need a little bit being taken care of
even still as an adult
we all need to know that someone cares and loves us no matter what
i love you grandma

you are my sunshine

You Don’t Know What Love Is (you just do as you’re told) Lyrics- white stripes

This one is for you – you know who you are

In some respects
I suspect you’ve got a respectable side
When pushed and pulled and pressured
You seldom run and hide
But it’s for someone elses benefit
Not for what you wanna do
Until I realize that you’ve realized
I’m gonna say these words to you

You don’t know what love is
You do as you’re told
Just as a child at ten might act
But you’re far too old
You’re not hopeless or helpless
And I hate to sound cold
But you don’t know what love is…
You just do as you’re told

I can see your man
Cant help but win
Any problems that may arise
But in his mind there can be no sin
If you never criticize
You just keep on repeating
All those empty “I love you’s”
Until you say you deserve better
I’m gonna lay right into you

You don’t know what love is
You just do as you’re told
Just as a child of ten might act
But you’re far too old
Your not hopeless or helpless
And I hate to sound cold
But you don’t know what love is
No you don’t know what love is
No you don’t know what love is

You just do as you’re told
You do as you’re told
Yeah

Fire with fire

It’s okay to fall

How boring would life be without the waves?
All that really matters is if you are willing to ride it and how well you ride it

Bukowski said it better
“What matters most is how well you walk through the fire”

We are both fire
Burning ever-so-beautifully
Into the night
Into the day
And it’s always better to burn out
Than fade away ( thank you Neil young )

Tonight you leave me with a smile
And that’s pretty fucking great in my book. I love you for that.
Thank you 😉

IMG_2572.JPG

Don’t fuck off

Cause I feel the way you do 😉

Fuck off

If you aren’t true
If you don’t like what I do
If you feel the need to bark
At me –
some dumb little remark
Some passive yet aggressive way
to convey
What you won’t come out and say
And you wonder why I hide away
From all the people like you
Who do things like you do
Throw things my way
Chuck some fear and anger at me
Then try to be oh so sweet
But all it does it beat beat beat
Me down and beat me down some more
Until I’m less
Impressed
By your love hate mess
Some peoples love is abusive
Cause real love isn’t obtrusive
Is it hard for a man
To understand
Another persons state of mind
Or the other persons state of heart
I’m having a hard time As it is
Without you tearing me apart
Have a moment of doubt?
Sit with it like we all do
And ride the wave
No reaction can sometimes save
A person from himself
And a person from losing out
Just give love if you have it
And more love if you seek it
And more love when there’s no reason Not to
(Other than the fear and doubt inside yourself )
Allow love to show
And it will allow love to grow

Sepia-Tone Dusk in an Angels Garden On a Day Like Today #2

Sepia-Tone Dusk in an Angels Garden On a Day Like Today

beautiful,automatic writing,life,desire,alive,kyoko,poetry,intrigue,artists,emotions,feel it,inspiration,love,kyoko cole,missymiss,creation,creative writing

The soft moss swimming;
It is the dying spirit.
Desiring, I hide.

Pink shore, serene breeze.
The flat, upright sparkle shines.
Lost moon, velvet spirit.

Walk, swim. With blunt leaves
Wither, decline. With sharp flames
Write, fade: fluttering.
Purple, tender, falling,
Your eyes sits. A mermaid arises,
Declining, shining, I fall

deep within and go far away…

-kyoko cole 2013-

IMG_0746.JPG

IMG_0716-0.JPG

IMG_0712-0.JPG

IMG_0657.PNG

Do something before it’s too late and it’s all gone

You should do something quick before you can’t do anything at all

Get weird
Pull away
Hate your face
Make space
In Between
Love love love
To run away
Come again some other day
Close your eyes
Count to ten
You can’t give up
Till I say when
Fight or flight
Hide and seek
Wasted hours
Become – Wasted weak
Another night
To bark and bite
attack And run
Waving goodbye
With a loaded gun
As I leave again
I Lose again
Miss me much?
Much more a mess
You Miss me less and less
But I’m not here
And You are not there
this time it goes
Gone somewhere
It doesn’t come back
It doesn’t care
The Back and forth
Is all we do
I Run
Circles Round
The spinning you
This time it doesn’t dwell
Over the spell
Nothing to miss
I think we fell
In and out
And
In and
out
Both out Of love
For good

IMG_0712.JPG

IMG_0709.JPG

IMG_0716.JPG

IMG_0711.JPG

I’m not ready

As much as I’d like to skip this part
And jump directly to a step beyond
I can’t
I’m not there
I’m here
And no matter how hard I try
I can’t be there
Without being here Now
And the only way to move on
Is to move on through it

Theres no going around it

And I am still in the thick of it

I am not there
Yet
I am not where
I want to be
Yet
I’m not ready…
And I am ok with that

IMG_0693.JPG

And it doesn’t really matter anymore

Not really sure how to feel about it
I guess there’s nothing to feel at all now
Except the feeling that comes from
The feelings that have gone
To have something that doesn’t exist anymore
To have someone who doesn’t exist
Any more
Any less
Would be no memory
Of any kind
No thought or memory left behind
Soon
That day will come Soon enough
I don’t care much about the thought
Of it
When the feeling is dead
And the feelings I have Now
Are no longer attached to you
Don’t really care
About everything you said
That I can’t remember
But I remember every love
That made me feel
Loved
And made me feel Something more
And left a mark on my life and ❤
That was not you

IMG_0730.JPG