bucket o’ love

I could use
a day or two
of something old
mixed with someone new
or visa versa-
I would love
to see some good
if I should
grow and change
and rearrange
the fiction-
diction
that plays
in my head
that repeats
old things
some-dumb-body
has said
some time
before I learned
when
and what
to take in
and when
and what
crap to ignore.
I am me
and me
wants to be
okay
every day
and have things go my way
because my way
is with love.

-k.c.

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can’t sleep

I was vulnerable
I let my guard down
with you
even though I’ve been hurt before
you were so scared to hurt again
yet here I am
and I don’t know why
I’m so tired
but I can’t sleep
knowing that you’re right there
and I’m here
but we are so far apart

why do I even try?
maybe that is the reason why…
I am here again.

-k.c.

Photo by Renato Mu on Pexels.com

the feeling is gone

in a dream
you were there
and it was the same you
angry
abusive
loud
mean
explosive
but in my dream it didn’t bother me
it made me uncomfortable and uneasy
I said goodbye to you
and I didn’t feel anything
when I woke up
I didn’t care no longer cared
I no longer had love for you
I rarely think anyone is a waste of time
but you really wasted my time-
and I wish I would have saw you
the way you really are before the years of effort and abuse
I don’t care if you hate me
I don’t care if you forget me
you gave me nothing to hold onto
nothing to miss
nothing good to want back again…
except for myself

into the trees

lovers
you look empty
the love
might just change like lies

the changes catch
unborn truth
the voices speak just like you
the trace of silence
was real
with this feeling
from the last moment
without knowing
all you need
the lonely
-after hour anxiety
some little bugs eat
you ask one question
and hide before it can get to you


child distract him
absolutely invisible
there were cries
waiting for the night
the scent collects
but here this idea comes
and you need sleep and affection
so here it gets lost
the only fatality
made forgetting more melancholy
not sudden and nothing happened
this sinking evil illusion
life disappears
the voice here
never existed
this false face
tears softly and challenges
the real


all eyes had felt
your denial
this useless existence
away with the night

you who come from the dark-
unusual
into this light-
strange
your love
was enough
above the sky
you can see
that this is the end
whispering time
hear the word
hear our language
a sudden
taste of
mystic too
many must look
not dwell
under the fall
without the curtain
glow like you

purple would have understood
the holding hand
the mouth both interested and obsessed
for you
the black was still light
this face and soul the same
everything around you
faded and
remained


slippery
love
shake you out
out
out
this was absolutely different
your heart vibrations smile
flames from the body
will not be tamed
they are beautiful
lovely but cursed
as you
find them new meaning
I’ll remind you
of my kisses
and continue life mute

-kyoko cole

night sights and sounds

dark fever growl
you scream and howl
wild by night
I lose sight.
Where did you go?
something I may never know
or most likely I already do

I sit and watch
sleepless nights
fall over me.

I wish I had the feel
I feel too much
I don’t feel at all
I wonder which one
is real.

-Kyoko Cole

Holidays

Maybe I’m here

Without any way

In knowing how to

Do the things I want to do

Say the words I want to say

Be the me I want to be

I just don’t know

How to feel comfortable

Being me

Me being me being me being me being me being me

The blue bus is calling us

With pen in hand

I walk

With

Without

I am not with you

This is what you want

Then this is what you get

You are free

From me

This is nothing new

Remove

Forget

Set

the clock back

To before

I am nothing

And nothing more

To you

Wish it away

Burn it away

Bleed it out

Out

<p value="<amp-fit-text layout="fixed-height" min-font-size="6" max-font-size="72" height="80">Out and awayOut and away

-kyoko

Fade out

Finished all my school work

Now it’s almost the end of the day

There is nothing I can do

Nothing I can say

One day begins and ends

And blends

Into the month

It’s almost been a year

What’s happening now?

Is not very clear

I can’t trust people

Who cannot be trusted

That seems to be

Almost everyone

Ha you got busted!

Nowhere left to run

Nowhere left to run

Blur. Blur

Uh huh Her

Your eyes and head

Play tricks on you

Everything you thought

You knew

Is wrong

But

It’s me who does not belong

I don’t belong

Take another month

Take Another year

By the time

The news hits your ear

It’s been a long time gone

You did this one too many times

To make it all be okay

now

It won’t ever be okay again

It’s around the corner

Regret is coming round the bend

For you

I’ve had enough

And where I’m going

You can’t take regret along with you

When these words have gained years in wisdom

When these words begin to fade

Without a trail of breadcrumbs

To lead the way

There is no way

Just a shallow grave

Somewhere

Maybe

But no more

Of my Love

For you to throw away

When this stops

remember me

that day

Pinch yourself

It’s not a dream

Fade out

You try to scream

But nothing comes out

The ship sank

But The captain didn’t go down with the boat

Cowards

Fakes

Liars

And cheats

Always seem to stay afloat

This place must be

Pretty close to hell

I don’t want to buy

The shit you’re trying to sell

Beam me up Scotty

its about that time

I can’t say I’m gonna miss

This

So I won’t

vale

Sat here all night

And waited to see

What you would do

But you didn’t do anything

You told me I’d been replaced

You laugh in my face

You throw me away

You trash my love

And beat down my heart

I tried to deal

I tried to be okay

But the fact that it’s so easy for you

To discard me

Makes me feel

The worst possible way

I don’t know what to say

I guess i have nothing left

To do

To say

It’s better to just go away

again

you’re never there

when i needed you

You’re never there

Everything you do

You broke me

You dangle love by a string you like to tug away

I’ve given you so much time

To change

To say

Something

Anything

But inatead you

Ignore

Me

I’m really hurt

And you need to learn

What you do

Hurts people

And makes them go away for good.

I’m sorry you don’t understand