I could use a day or two of something old mixed with someone new or visa versa- I would love to see some good if I should grow and change and rearrange the fiction- diction that plays in my head that repeats old things some-dumb-body has said some time before I learned when and what to take in and when and what crap to ignore. I am me and me wants to be okay every day and have things go my way because my way is with love.
I was vulnerable I let my guard down with you even though I’ve been hurt before you were so scared to hurt again yet here I am and I don’t know why I’m so tired but I can’t sleep knowing that you’re right there and I’m here but we are so far apart
why do I even try? maybe that is the reason why… I am here again.
in a dream you were there and it was the same you angry abusive loud mean explosive but in my dream it didn’t bother me it made me uncomfortable and uneasy I said goodbye to you and I didn’t feel anything when I woke up I didn’t care no longer cared I no longer had love for you I rarely think anyone is a waste of time but you really wasted my time- and I wish I would have saw you the way you really are before the years of effort and abuse I don’t care if you hate me I don’t care if you forget me you gave me nothing to hold onto nothing to miss nothing good to want back again… except for myself
lovers you look empty the love might just change like lies
the changes catch unborn truth the voices speak just like you the trace of silence was real with this feeling from the last moment without knowing all you need the lonely -after hour anxiety some little bugs eat you ask one question and hide before it can get to you
child distract him absolutely invisible there were cries waiting for the night the scent collects but here this idea comes and you need sleep and affection so here it gets lost the only fatality made forgetting more melancholy not sudden and nothing happened this sinking evil illusion life disappears the voice here never existed this false face tears softly and challenges the real
all eyes had felt your denial this useless existence away with the night
you who come from the dark- unusual into this light- strange your love was enough above the sky you can see that this is the end whispering time hear the word hear our language a sudden taste of mystic too many must look not dwell under the fall without the curtain glow like you
purple would have understood the holding hand the mouth both interested and obsessed for you the black was still light this face and soul the same everything around you faded and remained
slippery love shake you out out out this was absolutely different your heart vibrations smile flames from the body will not be tamed they are beautiful lovely but cursed as you find them new meaning I’ll remind you of my kisses and continue life mute