i wonder why

you think i’m annoying or being dramatic

when i’m just reacting to something that YOU don’t understand

and i think it’s pretty funny (not haha) and lame

that you don’t see how you create a situation that just makes it worse

plus you’re not really there for me like someone who cares for me would be

and that’s enough to say

that’s not what i want

it’s not just me

it’s also you

who can make or break

a situation

why would i care about someone who does not show care for me?

i wouldn’t and i don’t – i just needed to express myself

and remember that people who are really cool and awesome and supportive and care

are the people i want around

at least i see

what works

and what doesn’t and i’m sure

you’ve been that way with others and that’s why it hasn’t worked for you

to me that’s more crazy than how girls are “crazy”

and it’s stupid

and i don’t want stupid people to do stupid things just because they can

on a better note

if this didn’t happen then the other day

then i wouldn’t have felt the way i felt and gone out when i went out

and then i wouldn’t have had that awesome thing happen

which did

and is like so much more awesome

than the situation with you

which would have been a waste of my time in the end – if this is what it’s like from the start

i cannot wait for tomorrow ;)

goodnight

I guess it didn’t matter too much

You didn’t reply
And I’m too tired
To sit here and cry
About it
But inside
I fits guess I do
It’s been a hard week
And a harder week alone

Color you yellow

You’re as bright
As yellow
When you smile
Oh how you smile
Makes me want
to understand
Makes me want
To hold your hand
Makes me want
To shout it out
And you make me want
What you’re all about
Baby
Close your eyes
Tell me what you see
When you close your eyes
Do you see me?
Oh
You’re bright
Baby
Bright as yellow
Bright is the light
Is the light in you

Close(r)

After last night’s storm
A tiny white feather
Floats in a puddle
Days end
Broken shadows
Splatter the lawn
Twilight
A full moon
Between fractured branches
Is me
Is you
What is the glue?
That holds us together?
still miles
And lifetimes apart
Still closer
And yet further
Away from the heart

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He was a friend of mine

My friend died last Friday
I didn’t get to say goodbye
No one did
He wrote me a few weeks ago
Sent me a picture of this bracelet I made him back when we worked together
He still wore it
And now he’s gone
Just like that
He was there for me when I really needed support and a friend
And he made me laugh and smile
He showed me some compassion and understanding when I needed some because I needed some and because that’s just the kind of person he was.
He showed me that good, kind, loving people still exist in the world
He gave that goodness and kindness and love to so many without ever asking or expecting anything in return
I wish I got to see him
And hang out with him
One last time
I would let him know how much he matters and how appreciative I am and how happy I am to have him as a friend.
I am greatly saddened by his loss
He will truly be missed

R.i.p. Darin
Thank you 💚

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P.s.

I’m not afraid
To tell my blog
(and whoever out there reads it)
That I love you and you and all of you out there in this big tiny world we call home

;)

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So alive and much more so in love

Twilight
A full moon
Between fractured branches
A Coyote leads me on
To fresh snow
A glance
From across the room
Is Intoxicating 
Days end
Heavy shadows
Splatter the lawn
With dawn is thunder
Leaves rain
Upon my roof
In our mist
The floating sky
In a half empty glass
Half full
The rest of dusk
may drizzle…
Lovers ashes
May drip
On waiting fields
It Slips
And drips
Falling it’s way through
And onto
You.
Perfection

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Slipping away

There’s so much I wish I could say
But I know most people don’t care to hear
When they they don’t need to hear it for themselves
They act better than themselves
When they do need to hear it
They want it
They need it
And I give it
Cause I understand that people need love and support even if they don’t understand that other people need it to
Tonight was a complete fuck up
Of fucked up
Tonight was a shit storm
Of shit
But I’m not shit
I’m not fucked
I’m just in a place of better
Loving and living in a place of old
and unhealthy
Time to break the ties
Time to leave the old
Time to let the things the are down
Not bring me down
Not make me feel bad
Or stupid
Cause they are down and stupid
Feeling even if they are not
They are
I have too much good
To let that shit bring me somewhere I’m not anymore.
Good riddance
But
I wish you the best
Better than you have it now

You give me fever

Ugh!!!
💚 💛
Okay. Not too much
I just smile a lot when we’re together

..

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Bad kisser

My only regret
is that I did not forget
You sooner
Than this
And…
the only thing I truly miss
Was my idea of you
But not really you at all

 

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Fuck you

I really miss you
But
Why should I?
Cause you were once really fucking cool
And now you’re not
To me anyways
I’ve been good up until now
I don’t know why
It made me kinda sad 
Today
I wish you were here with me
Getting a beer
Lol
This post sucks
And I don’t even care

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