I don’t like oneway streets

Closed ears

Closed eyes

Closed heart

What a perfect start

To a new year

This isn’t my fault

I didn’t start this mess

But I’m the one who feels the stress

And disrespect

From you

If I only knew

But I did

I just didn’t listen to myself

When I should have

But

I listened to you

When I knew

This would happen again

And I’m not happy

You made me happy before

And now you just do everything that works against me

And I’m feeling pretty low

I can’t embrace

Your face

When it’s two

Instead of one

So there’s a reason I act the way I do

If you only knew

How it feels

You wouldn’t do half the things you do

But you do because you don’t

To make someone happy

You listen

You love

You care

To do things for someone

Or you don’t

And things fall apart

I’m falling apart

And I don’t like it

But I can’t get through to you

And I never will

i'm not around

Listen to the man

Who has a plan

From the very first day

Until the very last

To destroy

me

And anything that may be love

Walking away from you

Was the hardest thing

For me to do

When the fears

Are with me

Either way I go

It’s hard to know

What to do

When I’m right there

And Right here looking at you

when I’m in it

I can’t see

Through

The thickness

Of your fog

You like to play around

With my heart

For fun

But

I only play for keeps

Still that bad feeling

Creeps

In

I just can’t win

You know how to begin

So you can Just make it

And I can’t pretend

That it’s never you

And always me

Cause it’s not

Instead of picking me up

You’re dragging me down

until I’m not around

Until I’m not around

I’m not around

Nowhere to be found

Cause I’m not around

Anymore

-kyoko cole

The sound of silence

I understand you.

Your silence speaks volumes

The ghost of you haunts me

and it will not go away

I don’t agree with everything you did to me

Or how you thought about me

But I was good to you

And loved you

More than I’ve ever loved anyone

And you treat me like a stranger

So you got what you wanted

You left me

Forever

Incomplete

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

so this is how the story ends

no words to say
to song to sing
this is the sorrow
this mourning brings
the start of your week
is the end of my day
nothing really matters
to me anyway.
i was happy
when i made you happy
but now the ideas you make up in your head
make you sad
at me
make you mad
at me
and i will never be
who you want
me to be
i will never feel
your sunshine again
but i will always know
this darkness
that you left me in
on this day
today
that you went away
and made me have to go.
this kind of love
this kind of life
i already know
so well—
so long
so many times
i guess it was me
who was wrong
all along
i don’t fit
in this world
i can’t sit
i don’t have my place
so i quit
this shit
and burn
any trace
of me
you will never see
my face
or my smile
and after a while
you’ll forget that too
this is my goodbye
to you

Photo by Juan Pablo Arenas on Pexels.com
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
sadness and mourning. saying goodbye
Photo by Trinity Kubassek on Pexels.com
“Suicide Fever” by AA, 1981

the mourning of my past

i dip
and slip
under the moon
and fall past
the last
hand comin’ round too soon
i skate
and wait
for nothing cause it’s so much fun
to chase the moon
and run from the sun
i smile and spin
as something within
starts to begin
again
i dance and prance
and fly through the air
without a doubt or a single care
and as the morning dew
comes into view
i say goodbye
to the past
i held onto
what was
was then
and what is
is now
i got stuck between
the years somehow
so hello this moment
hello today
i am present
i am here
and i am okay
my eyes are open
my ears are open
my heart is open
i am open
to be me now.

 

7eaf34_18a5ffb03e4c45e08bab2887c92a5906_mv2

-k.c.

 

Vegas blues

I do not miss

All the shit

He put me through

I don’t miss his attack

Or his lack

of self awareness

Or all the unfairness

I don’t miss all his bad

Which drove me mad

And made me sad

But I do miss

His kiss

And I miss the few moments

He made me feel

Unconditionally loved

And on my way out of state

He was the best travel companion

I’ve ever had

How can one man be so stupid

And so blind

Viva Las Vegas!

Ha.

Yeah

Mama needs a new pair of shoes

And a new knife

What a fucking life

Goodbye

Noise noise and more noise

I can read between the lines

I can read the language you don’t speak in words

The writing on the wall is very clear

If you wanted to

You would be

Here.

Big man

Little man

Where do you stand

Little boy

I wasn’t made

For you

to be your little toy

When you come down

If you ever really do

Blabber and smoke

Treating everything

Like it’s one big joke

Laugh it up

Laugh out loud

And while you’re at it

Act so proud

Who you trying to fool

Yourself?

Or the crowd?

Maybe both

In the sky above

On the ground below

Who you really are begins to show

And it hurts only cause I let you in

I’m pretty sure lying

Is a Cardinal sin

Where does the false you end

And the real you begin?

why do I write?

why do I write?

I write to express myself.
I write to create.
I write to discover.
I write because I can’t NOT do it.
I write because I enjoy writing.
I write to share a little bit about myself and to learn a lot about myself.
I write cause I’m inspired.
I write to inspire.
I write for me.
I write for you.
I write to feel better.
I write to purge.
I write to love.
I write because I love.
I write because I hate.
I write for all the times I could not speak.
I write to reflect. I write to relate.
I write to release.
I write to recognize.
I write to recharge.
I write to record.
I write to refrain.
I write to repair.
I write to return.
I write to revolt.
I write to revolve.
I write to remember. I write to forget. .
I write because it makes the loneliness feel less lonely.
I write because I learn from writing.
I write because it’s what keeps me from pulling the trigger too quickly.
I write because I want to write…
because I need to write and because I love to write.

why do you write?

i'm lost and weird without you here. garden of sorrow.

At the end of the stars there is love

by myself
crushed and flooded
by the fall of you

the moonlight
would laugh at me
if he could

I found sanity in the bottle
the wind catches a thought
with my heart in limbo

I must be lost
in a mess
of sadness

just like me
it was hiding
the song held out its hand

I still wonder why
you suffered so
and felt the weight
of my troubled soul

so many illusions break through
an honest man
without branches
is always
the first to go

the best we’ve had
I would run to you in a moment
my fantasies
make me hear your voice

at the center of the light
in darkness
i see you

at the end of the stars
there is love.

-kyoko cole
2018

for a minute there, i lost myself. downtown turn. making the same mistakes beginning again

Downtown turn

Head -on

Tail spin

Lose yourself

Then you begin

Again

And again

It seems like I’m always starting over

It seems like I’m always going backwards

In the race around the track

I get myself back

Or do I?

Maybe I’m just a little more tired

Tired of trying

Again and Again

-kyoko cole

2018

Know your rodent

Hard to spot sometimes.

But they chew

Through

Your stuff

And they’ll chew Through

You too.

A snake is the grass

Will bite you in the ass

Stab you in the back

And then turn it around

On you and attack

You like you were the one

Who drew first.

I didn’t draw knives at all

Or guns

But I will.

And never trust a woman who has no respect for another woman’s relationship

Cause they have no respect for anyone

Especially no respect for themselves.

Run home little girl

Nobody likes you

Cause you are easy to have

And many have had you

You jump under covers

Jump beds

Play with heads

And let everyone fuck you

And I mean everyone

Cause you’re lonely

And that’s pathetic

Cause you need to feel

Like you matter

Like you’re loved

But you’re not

Cause how could someone love someone like you

Who

Says things to plant the seed

In the heart of a man that doesn’t belong to you

And you knew

What you were doing

And didn’t care

Cause you can’t be alone

I smell a FAT rat

That

Does not know the true meaning

Of loyalty

And respect

So what do you expect?

People to not see what kind of shit person you really are?

You whore the whole bar

And I love to watch you drink

Until you drink

And you ask for it

So I love to watch you drown

I’m glad you’re getting the fuck out of MY fucking town

You bitch

(sorry for such anger but I’m fucking angry at people who have no respect for how they treat others until someone does the same thing to them. And even still that won’t teach them how to be a better person when they’re just not)