Weird is exotic
I try to preserve things
But they just get torn
And I am just worn
Down
To
Bits.
It’s
Gotten
Quite
Old.
So I’ll fold
Into
The depths
Of the line you’ve drawn
Become unseen
In between
The pop of the
Screen (more watched more viewed)
The more popular pops out
And the odd of me
No one wants to really see
I am the odd man out
Stuck inside the walls of
Doubt and
Duality.
-k.c.
😦
I can push people away when I don’t like something
Don’t let any man dick you around with his childish Bullshit. You don’t get your way. You act like a fuck. We’ll I’m going to get mine now. Selfish selfish selfish and that’s how you lose me. You don’t care? Good. Becsuse i don’t need your kind of “care” which is more like careless.
Meet someone I actually like and they’ve already done all the things
I probably will never do – with someone else.
They had a wife
They have the kids
They had the wedding and the love
At least enough to have a child with that person.
Artists are different – I know this-
I had many opportunities to have all of that-
but I chose not to
under the circumstances that I was in at the time-
which I thought was the best decision (and it probably was)
but it still leaves me feeling like I’m falling short
losing time
and now at almost 43
I am.
I’m not toxic
I don’t bring that much baggage
I don’t lie
or leave out important information
that is misleading
I don’t want to meet people who are barely out of their last relationship – still not over it.
I want to meet people who are willing to try
to let me in
to connect
I want to have someone to have firsts with.
I was so careful about being with the wrong person (because of my family history) that I didn’t marry – even though I was engaged
I didn’t have children – even though I did get pregnant more than once
all of which I thought was the smart thing to do.
So now while so many of my friends who were married – are now in the process of getting divorced-
they were married and had children- maybe to the wrong person- but that part is on their poor choice of picking a partner who sticks by their vows- through all the trials and tribulations. who knows it’s not always sunshine and rainbows. Who is loyal despite the temptation of people that are always trying to take what isn’t theirs – just because they can’t have it.
And the worst part of it all- is I would have made a great mother and wife- to the right person. while I see so many couples forget that they’re parents with multiple kids- just check out. So many parents go through the motions yet treat their kids like bait when they want out of their relationship – or want something more from the divorce. Some people have kids for the wrong reason. Some people get married and have no idea what that actual means and what it actually takes to make a marriage work. Selfish and stupid because in a lot of cases the kids suffer more than they will ever know – or care to think about.
I want to cry but I can’t cry… I have too much good in my life to cry – despite the things I lack that most of you will never understand
Is there anyone out there – in the same position as me?
Happy October 1st. Most of 2024 is gone already.
Maybe this world won’t last just like most relationships don’t last.
Maybe it’s time to get rid of all my stuff and move to another state
I don’t know.
all I know is that a lot of you – that I once knew-
I will never see again.
and that’s okay because if you wanted it any other way
you would show it – but more importantly-
I just don’t want any of it or any of you – at all –
marriage doesn’t work with selfish people
and new relationships will fail too
blah blah blah
I’m just happy for what I know, what I see, what I dodge, and what I have thet is good.
I think I thought you were better than you are
No, I’m not saying you’re not
But selfish
And very unkind
Not honest about things up front
I fell in love with you because I fall in love with beautiful things in this world, and sometimes that beauty is ugly, but I can relate
And I accepted you I welcomed you
And when I found the truth. I still accepted you and welcomed you.
And you called me toxic
I can still love what I love afar, but I will never love you the way I did before because you’re not who I thought you were and it’s nothing bad nothing good it just is what it is
People are not good to each other
So please, the next time you want to feel sorry for what happened to you.
Stop for a second
And think about your actions
And how you treated others because of your selfish desires
And then discarded them and called them toxic yet you were the one that’s very toxic because I was free without any baggage I could not be worked on.
That was not in the present still
And then I met somebody else. Who is amazing
But I realize it’s the same situation as you
People don’t appreciate things they’re gone
I don’t need to be appreciated by you
Nor him
Nor anyone
I know myself
But I had to let this out of my being before this feeling becomes me
People are not good to each other – for the most part
I see it every day
But then I walk down the street
And I see the most beautiful act of kindness between strangers
And fortunately/unfortunately, it gives me hope
And I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing because
it’s live or die
Break or rebuild
There’s a fine line between those just like the fine line between love and hate
I do not hate anyone. I just think that you want appreciation from somebody that doesn’t want you and when you have appreciation, you don’t want them so how can you ever expect to have what you’re given
That you don’t even see
I understand that actually more than I even know because I pose a question yet I understand I’ve been in your place
But now I am done
You had a very wonderful place in my heart, and you ruined it without even realizing
You still hold special place in my heart
From far far away
I will not touch you’re tainted soul with my clean hands
It doesn’t matter what you do now
Because the thought of you
And me
Together
Will no longer ever be
And I am very OK with that
Think about why you are in the position you’re in just I am thinking about why I am in the position. I am in.
And change
Good night and goodbye
Just kiss me again
Under the moonlight
And we’ll stay together
Forever
That way.
You send shivers up my spine
Excite my nerves
Your fingertips
Trace the outline
Of my curves
I am yours
And you are mine.
As I write this
I feel you
Beside me
That’s always where we’ll be
Together we will be fine
Lights flash suddenly
Into sight
Moving in and out
Coming through in waves
Sounds above
Sounds below
I sit between a silent shout
Something no man craves
Where are you now?
Where were you then?
Where do I go?
Everytime you fade
you do not know
What I know now
And when you do
The feeling chasing you
you can’t run that way …
And when you do
The feeling chasing you
I’ve already gone away
And when you do
The feeling chasing you
But the feeling stays
But the feeling stays
But the feeling stays
-kyoko cole
One kiss.
Sends shivers down my spine.
How wonderful it is
For such things
To bring
Me back to life.
That’s where I’m going
They have cookies
I’m not going to go out
With the ugliness of you and your behavior
Heavy on my heart
With this dark cloud over me
Because you don’t know how to be decent
So I write this
To be healthy
And rid myself of you.
You didn’t feel desired
And I did
But I don’t desire you at all
Life has a great way of showing people
Themselves
When you least expect it
I know who you are now
I see you –
100% crystal Clear
And I kinda can understand why
Your ex didn’t want to be around you
Because you do not care about the feelings of others
And trust me
It’s not going to work out for you in the end
I don’t deal with fake
Shallow people
I made a mistake feeling you
Because you need to feel yourself
By yourself
And you won’t while you keep jumping from over person to the next
How could you even expect anyone to value you and care about your feelings
When you ignore the feelings of someone youve hurt
All I know is you’ll do it again and again
If I allow it
But you have nothing that I want
Even the sex
Had turned into something ugly and gross
Just sex
With someone
Who isn’t there
You’ve made it cheap
And I don’t want anything you have to offer because you don’t offer me anything.
Just Bullshit lies and to feel less than who I really am
Which is a far better – more caring person than you.
Just please leave me the fuck alone for good.
You just like to waste my time
When you should be healing
Instead of trying to feel desired.
Why would anyone desire someone who treats people like they don’t matter and ignores them trying to communicate
I’m returning it back to you
10 fold.
it won’t be by me
But you’ll see how it feels to be ignored time as time again
By a person who has hurt you before
You won’t get any sympathy
And something is about to make you a little less cocky -a lot more humble
And learn some humility.
But I won’t be there for you again
You fucked up
Because I actually cared.
You will only get people who don’t care now.
Who can’t stand to be around you
Watch.
skin loves fever
wild and sweet
full of fire
hell like heat
lights up mad
burns up bright
i burn and turn
you give me fever
all night
skin loves fever
One- on- one mixed-media art lessons in Los Angeles
‘Cause talking is better than working
I spend a lot of time pondering what it all means.
A Writer's Musings (And Likely Some Shameless Self-Promotion As Well)
An outlet for my random thoughts and interests
where would it flow...
Serving a little poetic nourishment Monday thru Friday and featuring a Short Play Saturday Matinee to read.
Tales From The Life Of A Soul
skin loves fever 
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