Sunshine for a spotless mind

I wish I could forget

Eject you from my brain

And heart

Erase my memory of you

Until you become somebody new

Or better yet you won’t become anything at all

It’s not fair that you can forget me

And I cannot ever forget you

Once upon a time… A long long time ago…

Mothers who can’t love

I’m listening to Mothers Who Can’t Love by Susan Forward, Donna Frazier Glynn, narrated by Susan Forward, Kathleen Gati, Julia Whelan, Cherise Boothe, David Atlas on my Audible app. Try Audible and get it here: https://www.audible.com/pd?asin=B00EOXMXT0&source_code=ASSORAP0511160006

I know it’s love

From his bed

I stare at him

His eyes closed and his face beautiful

It’s all so new

But I know that this is love

I won’t say the words to him yet

I won’t even say the words out loud

To myself

Because I’m enjoying the feel

Of this feeling I almost forgot was possible

But I know

This is love

Because of the way

He looks at me

The way he makes me feel

The way

I am and the way I want to be

It’s easy to love him

It’s easy to give him love

And I want to give him more

he appreciates it

He gives love back

He doesn’t make me feel bad or insecure

Like so many others do and have before

He makes me feel alive

I am born again

And all the hurt and pain of the past

Disappears when we touch

I know it’s love

Because I give him all I have

Without compromising myself

And I want to give him everything…

he gives

And expects nothing in return

He is kind and gentle

understanding and sweet

He makes me feel loved

And taken care of

Because he wants to

Oh the funny fuzzy fizzy feel

Excites every fiber of my being

In between kisses

And miles

And in between the sheets

He brings warmth

And laughter

And many smiles

I know it’s love

Even though it’s too new to say out loud

It’s love

Because he is

And I am

And we are

both

Together

Under the moonlight

In the sunshine

In the middle of all the crazy

Confusing World we live in

We are magic

like children are magic

Full of love and shining light

All over this very dark and lonely place

Killing trees

Paper plates

And landscapes

Rain drops too

And morning dew

All of the things

that remind me of you

Won’t leave me alone

Won’t go away

But I can’t keep you

If you don’t want to stay

the dead and I

Won’t go our separate ways

But you do

it’s easy too

Nothing ever sticks to you

You just move along

Without a care

One day here

Next day there

Somewhere

(nowhere?)

Someplace else

With someone else

You’ll never know

How it feels

to watch you go

You’ll never know

How it feels

To feel this low

Hoping this time

will be

The last time

there’s no one who got away

Limited distractions

A force to reflect

All the things we normally forget

Looking back

I don’t look with the same heart or with the same head

mainly because

my love for you is dead

At the hands of you

At the hands of you

So you didn’t get away

No sir

Now With a better view

A clear realistic look at you

I wouldn’t want you to stay

I wouldn’t even consider it

Besides You never did much for me anyway.

It wasn’t me

It was you

That tried to make me pay

For your distorted view

How much better it would have been

If you cared and dared to really begin

If you didn’t allow all your past negative in

But you did

And it was there

You let your past negative win

Instead of us

You weren’t even aware

That it was you

Who

Took us down

Who would want that?

Not me

why would I ever

want someone like you around?

I don’t

Want you

At all

Anymore

I always knew

I was too good for you.

Now you will know it too

Twisted Gold Ring

I miss that time

Before all this shit

Went to shit

You gave me a ring

It was simple

Yet pretty

And it meant the world to me

But you pissed me off

And I threw it out the window of my car

ran it over

It had a kink in it after that

And I loved it even more than before

You gave it back to me and I wish I never gave it back to you after that

I miss that time and

I miss that little gold ring

Cause it came from your heart

Which just like you,

I never see anymore

And probably won’t see ever again

If you like pina coladas

Yacht rock

Tick tock

you own a boat

I can’t swin

But I sure can float

I will coat

Your ego

And fix

You a drink

When you’ve had too much to think

I’ll be you link

To home

As long as you’re sweet

And good

And keep us safe

I’ll keep you wild

Protect your inner child

love why don’t you come to you’re senses?

I’m not your enemy

When you gonna see

That all I wanna do

Is love you

And keep you close

Have your baby

As we’ll sail far away

From this soul sucking town

If you would just stick around

I’m not here to bring you down

I’m here to show you the way

To a better day

As long as you’re willing

To be open

And I’ll listen to you

And everything

you’ve been through

Let’s make The life we have left

the best

And invest in one another

Instead of against each other

I know you read this

So it’s up to you

To come through

Don’t let the past remind us

Of what we are not now

Just you and me

And the cats 😉

L.M. I. L. Y.

L.M.L.K.C.

Enough drama

I csnt make someone be able to see

What I see

Just like others point out in me

What they see

And tell me what they want me to be

But I’m me

And me had a good heart

And me will deal with a lot

Until my heart had been ripped apart

One too many times

I get sick

Of the inconsistent love

Between each time you split

And I stuck around

So many times you left me

And kicked me while I was down

You didn’t even want me around

But you did this one too many times

You’ve show no care to be more aware

I’m not your punching bag

Hag

But the way you treat me

Sometimes is stuck a drag

And I don’t have love for someone who won’t show love for me

I don’t expect you to be

Any better

Any more

There’s the door

You’ve been asking for

You want out

Then you got it

I don’t want to try with this one sided shit

While you sit

And put all blame on me

I can’t love someone who doesn’t see

What they do

But they expect you to

I’ll save myself

For the kind of people

Who treat me right

Without a fight

I loved you for a long time

And I have more patience than most people do

It takes a lot for me to give up

But all you do

Are the things that make me lose love for you

so if that’s what you want

Then that’s what you get

But remember this :

I used to miss your lovely kiss

But you made that feeling go away

Just like me

You shouldn’t treat people you love like shit

Cause eventually they’ll get sick of it

And you

Goodnight

I don’t like oneway streets

Closed ears

Closed eyes

Closed heart

What a perfect start

To a new year

This isn’t my fault

I didn’t start this mess

But I’m the one who feels the stress

And disrespect

From you

If I only knew

But I did

I just didn’t listen to myself

When I should have

But

I listened to you

When I knew

This would happen again

And I’m not happy

You made me happy before

And now you just do everything that works against me

And I’m feeling pretty low

I can’t embrace

Your face

When it’s two

Instead of one

So there’s a reason I act the way I do

If you only knew

How it feels

You wouldn’t do half the things you do

But you do because you don’t

To make someone happy

You listen

You love

You care

To do things for someone

Or you don’t

And things fall apart

I’m falling apart

And I don’t like it

But I can’t get through to you

And I never will

so this is how the story ends

no words to say
to song to sing
this is the sorrow
this mourning brings
the start of your week
is the end of my day
nothing really matters
to me anyway.
i was happy
when i made you happy
but now the ideas you make up in your head
make you sad
at me
make you mad
at me
and i will never be
who you want
me to be
i will never feel
your sunshine again
but i will always know
this darkness
that you left me in
on this day
today
that you went away
and made me have to go.
this kind of love
this kind of life
i already know
so well—
so long
so many times
i guess it was me
who was wrong
all along
i don’t fit
in this world
i can’t sit
i don’t have my place
so i quit
this shit
and burn
any trace
of me
you will never see
my face
or my smile
and after a while
you’ll forget that too
this is my goodbye
to you

Photo by Juan Pablo Arenas on Pexels.com
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sadness and mourning. saying goodbye
Photo by Trinity Kubassek on Pexels.com
“Suicide Fever” by AA, 1981

You

The only one I would ever marry is you.

It’s always been

and

always will be

you.