It’s not all about me
It’s about you too
You live to destroy anything good that I give you
You never look at yourself.
Must be nice living that way
That’s not advanced
That’s pussy-ass shit
If you looked at your behavior even just half the times you’ve made me look at mine then maybe it would work…
But like I said you create problems that aren’t there
And you like to destroy shit that’s actually good.
So I have no more for you.
No more patience
No more understanding
No more chances
No more tolerance for you period
And no more love
I’m done
And you need to stay the fuck away from me. Period
You want to treat me like a bitch then i will be one.
Good riddance you stupid little man.
this desire
bottles full of memories
I struggle with the world
without you love
substances find problems
your fear finds misunderstanding
your fear keeps you away
and there’s nothing I can do
to change that
.
time is an island
deserted and alone
afraid to be forgotten
trying to survive
why must the wind
be so harsh?
the fallen
leaves
dance
on.
abandon
walls.
suicide without being able
to die
you take the path
of habit
devils and wolves
hijacked you
and your love
it really doesn’t matter now…
does it?
impossible to
get through
to you.
you got what
you wanted.
me removed.
i give up
and turn away
And stay
That way
On the path that
No longer leads to you.
2018
by myself
crushed and flooded
by the fall of you
the moonlight
would laugh at me
if he could
I found sanity in the bottle
the wind catches a thought
with my heart in limbo
I must be lost
in a mess
of sadness
just like me
it was hiding
the song held out its hand
I still wonder why
you suffered so
and felt the weight
of my troubled soul
so many illusions break through
an honest man
without branches
is always
the first to go
the best we’ve had
I would run to you in a moment
my fantasies
make me hear your voice
at the center of the light
in darkness
i see you
at the end of the stars
there is love.
-kyoko cole
2018
No.
Not at all
Never.
Not willing
Not capable
Not true.
Not wanting
Not caring maybe.
But I saw it once
When he maybe cared
Maybe wanted to
Maybe willing
Maybe the demons in his head
Were on vacation
Or tired.
Cause even demons need a break too
I don’t know
All I can say is how I feel
And it’s sad
To see someone you loved so much
Just turn into someone else
And have such hate
And meanness
Doesn’t make me angry
Doesn’t make me want to get revenge
I’m too sad for that
And revenge was never my thing
I let time and truth
Work it’s own magic
But right now
The kind of sadness I feel
Is like when a family member or someone you were super close dies
Except it’s worse
Cause he’s still there
Seeing whatever he wants to see
That isn’t really me
Not seeing me
But letting the real demons
Alter his brain
Take over his soul
Without him even knowing
It’s a sadness I can’t explain
Unless you’ve felt it before
One I never
Want to feel again.
-kyoko cole
3am sounds
Of Birds and coyotes
I wish I could speak to them
I wish I could speak to you
Get through to you
But I’m starting to see
That’s never going to happen
I’ll probably make more progress with the birds and coyotes
And him
As he sits next to me on the patio
We listen to music
And talk
Like the coyotes and birds do
Time is a tick of the mind
Where we once belonged
Has gone far away
Today
And now
Black smoke
Beautiful losers
A shout in the street
Start to fade
All that we made
Is born to die
A brief history of time
Obsession
Old lovers
Under freeway balconies
Nude naked and stripped
Secrets behind smiles
The horse would know, but the horse can’t talk
Rhapsodies in black
Documenting disposable people
Disposers
Exposers
Of
Ghost images
Ghost people
ghost world
Once Held together by water
But now Broken apart by man
It may be
That I don’t want to see
All the things I see
And maybe I don’t want to be
This person who is me
Who am I anyway?
Am I just what others say?
Or maybe just yesterday I meant something
To you
But not today
Today we’re through
maybe I don’t want to feel
Everything I thought was real
Perhaps you feel quite alright
With throwing me away tonight
With doing things that hurt me more
With all of me you choose to ignore
And maybe I don’t want to stay
Maybe I don’t want to play
This stupid game
this stupid me
Maybe I just want to be
Free
From living
This stupid life
Maybe I don’t want the strife
It hurts my heart
To have to defend
What most of you can’t comprehend
Or Maybe I just can’t
And don’t want to pretend
Maybe I just want the end
-kyoko cole
I can’t
Stand
Being
Without.
You
make me
Feel
something
Whole
I wish
I
Could
Stop
Time
Space
And age
And this
Stage
I’m in
I don’t know where
To even begin
Again
Cause I want
Everything
I can’t have
Right now
Right here
But I fear
Too?
Much
And I fear
Nothing at all
I could watch
It all fall
And be fine in the end
But in the end
I’d be alone
Like really alone
And I don’t
Want that.
Give me a sign
Give me the call
Give me your all
Let me know
That I’m something
You know.
You want.
And not some thing
You don’t know
You can play hard ball
Pool
Baseball
Balls in
Balls deep
But you keep that shit
Away from me
Icky
Sticky
Dicky
Fuck
Yuck
I would have never
Go back
To that
Place
With your face
That lies
Like it’s a sport
ABORT!!!
AND I’M OUT…..
(Mic drop)
Arts & Lit Collective
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