nine lives and this one is coming to an end

starts with a cat
or maybe the <a href=”http://<iframe style=”width:120px;height:240px;” marginwidth=”0″ marginheight=”0″ scrolling=”no” frameborder=”0″ src=”//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ss&ref=as_ss_li_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=kyokocole0b-20&language=en_US&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B07VWK17VV&asins=B07VWK17VV&linkId=a5d18ade1e12a0f3a8bed1448afdbfef&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true”>booze
either way
i rarely seem to win
yet always seem to lose.
you tingle
and mingle
you have taught yourself to become numb
i stupidly follow
your fucked up trail
the trap you leave
with each crumb.

it starts with a smile
followed by a kiss
but after awhile
it’s only the ghost i miss

some stairs
going up
only leading me down
backwards path
i can’t do the math
but i know
that’s where you go
always way down low
where nothing can grow
a basement
a ditch
a switch
a dungeon
a dark prison vault
a bottomless pit
full of your shit
yet you always make it my fault.

i am not here
nor am i there
i am no longer anywhere
not like you care
if i am or if i’m not
but i got
something in my pocket
and whatever is left in my heart
and that right now
for me…
is a good place to start.
or end…

-kyoko cole