I wish I could forget
Eject you from my brain
And heart
Erase my memory of you
Until you become somebody new
Or better yet you won’t become anything at all
It’s not fair that you can forget me
And I cannot ever forget you
lightning bolt eyes
star kissed smile
i haven’t been fooled
by that face in awhile
words dipped sweet
kissed sugar lips
I drown in a rush
of slippery slips
you comfort me
with a whisper of sweet nothings
you relax me to sleep before the kill
and make me feel it’s such a thrill
your touch
is the clutch
that tangles me
and strangles me
softly
hard
and hardly soft
I open my eyes
to realize
a moment
too late
then forever gone
and so am I.
murdered by love
or assisted suicide
either way
a perfect way to die.
I’m listening to Mothers Who Can’t Love by Susan Forward, Donna Frazier Glynn, narrated by Susan Forward, Kathleen Gati, Julia Whelan, Cherise Boothe, David Atlas on my Audible app. Try Audible and get it here: https://www.audible.com/pd?asin=B00EOXMXT0&source_code=ASSORAP0511160006
You stand there
Like a lost child
Like someone so out of place
Uncomfortable
unwanted
Uneven
You begin to see that YOU ARE THE JOKE
and it makes your lips tremble
As the lump in your throat
Begins to choke
The tears out
Of your eyes
and your place
somewhere new and go
Fake up your grace
and fake up your case
and grow up
your old ego
Slow
But it’s all for show
it’s the only way you can go
it’s the only way you know
it’s the only way you know
this place is full of spies
filled with people full of lies
too many
pretend
to be
your friend
just to sell
you out
while they
cash in
in the end
You just can’t win
Goes a little something like this :
Gonna wake up –
Just enough
To drink myself back to sleep
The bottle is my one true friend
I can’t keep
It together
I don’t know where to start
I got the blues
With a weak-end
And a broken heart
I got the blues
And it’s-a tearin’ me apart
-kyoko
Paper plates
And landscapes
Rain drops too
And morning dew
All of the things
that remind me of you
Won’t leave me alone
Won’t go away
But I can’t keep you
If you don’t want to stay
the dead and I
Won’t go our separate ways
But you do
it’s easy too
Nothing ever sticks to you
You just move along
Without a care
One day here
Next day there
Somewhere
(nowhere?)
Someplace else
With someone else
You’ll never know
How it feels
to watch you go
You’ll never know
How it feels
To feel this low
Hoping this time
will be
The last time
Quitters always believe the lies they tell themselves because delusion is easier to live with than the reality that they settled for an easier path.
-Shannon L. Alder
Evil loves to subvert all blame onto the innocent.
-E.A. Bucchianeri, Vocation of a Gadfly (Gadfly Saga, #2)
In the narcissist’s world being accepted or cared for (not to mention loved) is a foreign language. It is meaningless or even repellent. One might recite the most delicate haiku in Japanese and it would still remain utterly meaningless to a non-speaker of Japanese. This does not diminish the value of the haiku or of the Japanese language, needless to say. But it means nothing to the non-speaker.
Narcissists damage and hurt but they do so offhandedly and naturally, as an afterthought…
They are aware of what they are doing to others – but they do not care.
-Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited
No other being is lesser human than the one who thinks of others as such.
-Abhijit Naskar, Human Making is Our Mission: A Treatise on Parenting (Humanism Series)
In the eyes of a Narcissist, they are perfect and never make mistakes. It’s always your fault.
-Tracy Malone
Once you are no longer a source of supply a narcissist will discard you cruelly with horrifically unimaginable devastation. This is when they show the ‘no empathy’ part. They do not care about you and learning that puts victims into a tailspin of confusion and depression.
-Tracy Malone
The emotionally cold or distant trait also rears its head during arguments when one person is experiencing and expressing significant emotion and the narcissistic person just checks out and does not respond—or does so in a cold and clipped manner. At such times you may find yourself spinning—and actually feeling as though you are “going crazy”—because the coldness of the response makes it even more difficult to regulate yourself in that moment. The emotional coldness can be confusing for you and may result in attempts to jump through hoops to generate warmth and connection with your partner. I have observed people wearing themselves out over decades, trying to create a fire where there was no possibility.
-Ramani Durvasula, Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
It might look like your enemies are winning, but be ready God is about to flip the script.
-Shannon L. Alder, The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Bible
One of the easiest ways to discover if someone is compatible with you is to gauge their emotional intelligence. Are they a kind and sensitive person? Will they be respectful towards your sensitivities? Or, are they emotionally stunted? Remember, we tend to attract narcissistic types who lack empathy.
-Aletheia Luna, Awakened Empath: The Ultimate Guide to Emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Healing
A narcissist, on the other hand, is the exact opposite of an empath. Emotionally, narcissists are like brick walls who see and hear others but fail to understand or relate to them. As a result of their emotional shallowness, narcissists are essentially devoid of all empathy or compassion for other people. Lacking empathy, a narcissist is a very destructive and dangerous person to be around.
-Mateo Sol, Awakened Empath: The Ultimate Guide to Emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Healing
Limited distractions
A force to reflect
All the things we normally forget
Looking back
I don’t look with the same heart or with the same head
mainly because
my love for you is dead
At the hands of you
At the hands of you
So you didn’t get away
No sir
Now With a better view
A clear realistic look at you
I wouldn’t want you to stay
I wouldn’t even consider it
Besides You never did much for me anyway.
It wasn’t me
It was you
That tried to make me pay
For your distorted view
How much better it would have been
If you cared and dared to really begin
If you didn’t allow all your past negative in
But you did
And it was there
You let your past negative win
Instead of us
You weren’t even aware
That it was you
Who
Took us down
Who would want that?
Not me
why would I ever
want someone like you around?
I don’t
Want you
At all
Anymore
I always knew
I was too good for you.
Now you will know it too
I miss that time
Before all this shit
Went to shit
You gave me a ring
It was simple
Yet pretty
And it meant the world to me
But you pissed me off
And I threw it out the window of my car
ran it over
It had a kink in it after that
And I loved it even more than before
You gave it back to me and I wish I never gave it back to you after that
I miss that time and
I miss that little gold ring
Cause it came from your heart
Which just like you,
I never see anymore
And probably won’t see ever again
