why do I write?

I write to express myself.
I write to create.
I write to discover.
I write because I can’t NOT do it.
I write because I enjoy writing.
I write to share a little bit about myself and to learn a lot about myself.
I write cause I’m inspired.
I write to inspire.
I write for me.
I write for you.
I write to feel better.
I write to purge.
I write to love.
I write because I love.
I write because I hate.
I write for all the times I could not speak.
I write to reflect. I write to relate.
I write to release.
I write to recognize.
I write to recharge.
I write to record.
I write to refrain.
I write to repair.
I write to return.
I write to revolt.
I write to revolve.
I write to remember. I write to forget. .
I write because it makes the loneliness feel less lonely.
I write because I learn from writing.
I write because it’s what keeps me from pulling the trigger too quickly.
I write because I want to write…
because I need to write and because I love to write.

why do you write?

Everything was not

i see stars

and bible thumpers

bloom and gloom

like the sound

of the man

ready for doom

I put my spell on you

just like before

only now

I am dancing

on the moonlight floor

I can only run

(to you)

I can only hide

(from you)

if you

want me to leave

I will

I leave wounded

all the time

with my destination

out the door

where the stakes

are high

and time don’t end

a sweet choke

under faces

of light

hidden within smoke

and imaginary tales

of without any explanation

interested in this study

more here

then there

the absurd to defend

everyone corrupts

in movement

you rather abuse

than love again

the distance between

cause feelings we reject

already seated

i tried more to protect

myself

from what you see

in the mirror

that is me

another suicide

in the distant blue

i lie here

sweetly crushed

the pain of you

-kyoko cole

2018

How to Avoid the Pursuer-Distancer Pattern in Your Relationship

via How to Avoid the Pursuer-Distancer Pattern in Your Relationship

Don’t act cool

Too cool for school

That’s alright

That’s pretty fucking cool

You fool

Cool guy

Why?

You gotta be so cool

Makes me sick

Makes me want to go home

Makes me want to go away

Makes me feel like high school

Mr cool.

Fuck that shit

I quit

Goodbye

Hahaha

Shit

Good night

At the end of the stars there is love

i'm lost and weird without you here. garden of sorrow.

by myself
crushed and flooded
by the fall of you

the moonlight
would laugh at me
if he could

I found sanity in the bottle
the wind catches a thought
with my heart in limbo

I must be lost
in a mess
of sadness

just like me
it was hiding
the song held out its hand

I still wonder why
you suffered so
and felt the weight
of my troubled soul

so many illusions break through
an honest man
without branches
is always
the first to go

the best we’ve had
I would run to you in a moment
my fantasies
make me hear your voice

at the center of the light
in darkness
i see you

at the end of the stars
there is love.

-kyoko cole
2018

Downtown turn

Head -on

Tail spin

Lose yourself

Then you begin

Again

And again

It seems like I’m always starting over

It seems like I’m always going backwards

In the race around the track

I get myself back

Or do I?

Maybe I’m just a little more tired

Tired of trying

Again and Again

-kyoko cole

2018

Know your rodent

Hard to spot sometimes.

But they chew

Through

Your stuff

And they’ll chew Through

You too.

A snake is the grass

Will bite you in the ass

Stab you in the back

And then turn it around

On you and attack

You like you were the one

Who drew first.

I didn’t draw knives at all

Or guns

But I will.

And never trust a woman who has no respect for another woman’s relationship

Cause they have no respect for anyone

Especially no respect for themselves.

Run home little girl

Nobody likes you

Cause you are easy to have

And many have had you

You jump under covers

Jump beds

Play with heads

And let everyone fuck you

And I mean everyone

Cause you’re lonely

And that’s pathetic

Cause you need to feel

Like you matter

Like you’re loved

But you’re not

Cause how could someone love someone like you

Who

Says things to plant the seed

In the heart of a man that doesn’t belong to you

And you knew

What you were doing

And didn’t care

Cause you can’t be alone

I smell a FAT rat

That

Does not know the true meaning

Of loyalty

And respect

So what do you expect?

People to not see what kind of shit person you really are?

You whore the whole bar

And I love to watch you drink

Until you drink

And you ask for it

So I love to watch you drown

I’m glad you’re getting the fuck out of MY fucking town

You bitch

(sorry for such anger but I’m fucking angry at people who have no respect for how they treat others until someone does the same thing to them. And even still that won’t teach them how to be a better person when they’re just not)

What I do

Shutter out

Bright

I sin

And then begin

Again

What else is there to do?

I have no clue.

A piece of me

A piece of you

Died Thursday morning

And I’m lost without

Turning corners

I find doubt

Mixed in with finding pieces of really awesome

Most beautiful people I have ever known

The best of people

Life has ever shown

But I fuck

I suck?

I drink my way back to gold

One of the saddest stories ever told

Is the one I hold

Goodnight another day goes by with out my friend

Will we ever meet again?

I really hope we do.

-kyoko cole

Chris

Now that you’re gone

I have no one by my side

To help me through

That person was always you

Now i feel the loneliness

Of being truly alone

You were the greatest friend

I have ever known

That this world has ever shown

I’m not alright

I’m not okay

Just take me back

To a better day

You were always there for me

And I’m so grateful for that

And for you

Until we meet again

I love you…

My sweet friend

Do you understand me?

No.

Not at all

Never.

Not willing

Not capable

Not true.

Not wanting

Not caring maybe.

But I saw it once

When he maybe cared

Maybe wanted to

Maybe willing

Maybe the demons in his head

Were on vacation

Or tired.

Cause even demons need a break too

I don’t know

All I can say is how I feel

And it’s sad

To see someone you loved so much

Just turn into someone else

And have such hate

And meanness

Doesn’t make me angry

Doesn’t make me want to get revenge

I’m too sad for that

And revenge was never my thing

I let time and truth

Work it’s own magic

But right now

The kind of sadness I feel

Is like when a family member or someone you were super close dies

Except it’s worse

Cause he’s still there

Seeing whatever he wants to see

That isn’t really me

Not seeing me

But letting the real demons

Alter his brain

Take over his soul

Without him even knowing

It’s a sadness I can’t explain

Unless you’ve felt it before

One I never

Want to feel again.

-kyoko cole

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