Wanna go for a ride?

Brush it

Under

The rug

That is your cover

You don’t have to be a lover

But a hater?

Be more original

Or don’t be at all

Die by the morning

The minute I enter

A different zip code

I have already begun

Mourning you.

I will not attend your funeral

Wearing robes of black

Draped down to the ground

And you even further below

I will not shed a tear

In public

I will not visit your grave

Jealous eyes

Are watching

Me

Forgetting you

They won’t be saved

The ground we walk on

Is shifting

Ever so slightly

The things you’ve done

Aren’t taken so lightly

It’s time to start a new

Goodbye

Rest well

For the long sleep

And the long farewell

This finale is long overdo

Sunshine for a spotless mind

I wish I could forget

Eject you from my brain

And heart

Erase my memory of you

Until you become somebody new

Or better yet you won’t become anything at all

It’s not fair that you can forget me

And I cannot ever forget you

Once upon a time… A long long time ago…

Asphalt Dreams

4 a.m. blues

lightning bolt eyes
star kissed smile
i haven’t been fooled
by that face in awhile

words dipped sweet
kissed sugar lips
I drown in a rush
of slippery slips

you comfort me
with a whisper of sweet nothings
you relax me to sleep before the kill
and make me feel it’s such a thrill
your touch
is the clutch
that tangles me
and strangles me
softly
hard
and hardly soft
I open my eyes
to realize
a moment
too late
then forever gone
and so am I.

murdered by love
or assisted suicide
either way
a perfect way to die.




Mothers who can’t love

I’m listening to Mothers Who Can’t Love by Susan Forward, Donna Frazier Glynn, narrated by Susan Forward, Kathleen Gati, Julia Whelan, Cherise Boothe, David Atlas on my Audible app. Try Audible and get it here: https://www.audible.com/pd?asin=B00EOXMXT0&source_code=ASSORAP0511160006

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You stand there

Like a lost child

Like someone so out of place

Uncomfortable

unwanted

Uneven

You begin to see that YOU ARE THE JOKE

and it makes your lips tremble

As the lump in your throat

Begins to choke

The tears out

Of your eyes

What are you?

make up your face
and your place
somewhere new and go

Fake up your grace
and fake up your case
and grow up
your old ego 
Slow

But it’s all for show

it’s the only way you can go
it’s the only way you know
it’s the only way you know

this place is full of spies
filled with people full of lies
too many
pretend
to be
your friend
just to sell
you out
while they
cash in
in the end
You just can’t win

My weak-end blues

Goes a little something like this :

Gonna wake up –

Just enough

To drink myself back to sleep

The bottle is my one true friend

I can’t keep

It together

I don’t know where to start

I got the blues

With a weak-end

And a broken heart

I got the blues

And it’s-a tearin’ me apart

-kyoko

Killing trees

Paper plates

And landscapes

Rain drops too

And morning dew

All of the things

that remind me of you

Won’t leave me alone

Won’t go away

But I can’t keep you

If you don’t want to stay

the dead and I

Won’t go our separate ways

But you do

it’s easy too

Nothing ever sticks to you

You just move along

Without a care

One day here

Next day there

Somewhere

(nowhere?)

Someplace else

With someone else

You’ll never know

How it feels

to watch you go

You’ll never know

How it feels

To feel this low

Hoping this time

will be

The last time

Somebody that I used to know

Quitters always believe the lies they tell themselves because delusion is easier to live with than the reality that they settled for an easier path.

-Shannon L. Alder

Evil loves to subvert all blame onto the innocent.

-E.A. Bucchianeri, Vocation of a Gadfly (Gadfly Saga, #2)

In the narcissist’s world being accepted or cared for (not to mention loved) is a foreign language. It is meaningless or even repellent. One might recite the most delicate haiku in Japanese and it would still remain utterly meaningless to a non-speaker of Japanese. This does not diminish the value of the haiku or of the Japanese language, needless to say. But it means nothing to the non-speaker.

Narcissists damage and hurt but they do so offhandedly and naturally, as an afterthought…

They are aware of what they are doing to others – but they do not care.

-Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited

No other being is lesser human than the one who thinks of others as such.

-Abhijit Naskar, Human Making is Our Mission: A Treatise on Parenting (Humanism Series)

In the eyes of a Narcissist, they are perfect and never make mistakes. It’s always your fault.

-Tracy Malone

Once you are no longer a source of supply a narcissist will discard you cruelly with horrifically unimaginable devastation. This is when they show the ‘no empathy’ part. They do not care about you and learning that puts victims into a tailspin of confusion and depression.

-Tracy Malone

The emotionally cold or distant trait also rears its head during arguments when one person is experiencing and expressing significant emotion and the narcissistic person just checks out and does not respond—or does so in a cold and clipped manner. At such times you may find yourself spinning—and actually feeling as though you are “going crazy”—because the coldness of the response makes it even more difficult to regulate yourself in that moment. The emotional coldness can be confusing for you and may result in attempts to jump through hoops to generate warmth and connection with your partner. I have observed people wearing themselves out over decades, trying to create a fire where there was no possibility.

-Ramani Durvasula, Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist

It might look like your enemies are winning, but be ready God is about to flip the script.

-Shannon L. Alder, The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Bible

One of the easiest ways to discover if someone is compatible with you is to gauge their emotional intelligence. Are they a kind and sensitive person? Will they be respectful towards your sensitivities? Or, are they emotionally stunted? Remember, we tend to attract narcissistic types who lack empathy.

-Aletheia Luna, Awakened Empath: The Ultimate Guide to Emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Healing

A narcissist, on the other hand, is the exact opposite of an empath. Emotionally, narcissists are like brick walls who see and hear others but fail to understand or relate to them. As a result of their emotional shallowness, narcissists are essentially devoid of all empathy or compassion for other people. Lacking empathy, a narcissist is a very destructive and dangerous person to be around.

-Mateo Sol, Awakened Empath: The Ultimate Guide to Emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Healing

there’s no one who got away

Limited distractions

A force to reflect

All the things we normally forget

Looking back

I don’t look with the same heart or with the same head

mainly because

my love for you is dead

At the hands of you

At the hands of you

So you didn’t get away

No sir

Now With a better view

A clear realistic look at you

I wouldn’t want you to stay

I wouldn’t even consider it

Besides You never did much for me anyway.

It wasn’t me

It was you

That tried to make me pay

For your distorted view

How much better it would have been

If you cared and dared to really begin

If you didn’t allow all your past negative in

But you did

And it was there

You let your past negative win

Instead of us

You weren’t even aware

That it was you

Who

Took us down

Who would want that?

Not me

why would I ever

want someone like you around?

I don’t

Want you

At all

Anymore

I always knew

I was too good for you.

Now you will know it too