skin loves fever – skin loves fever

space

heart space
room space
head space
my space
shared with a
head case
nowhere to go
no place
to move
I can’t breathe
I can’t face
it anymore
I try…
to make it better
I try
to make it okay-
to make it
just o.k.-
only to
have it not be
okay
only to have it
stay…
Just the same
or get even worse.
like a curse
I need to reverse
but I can’t
seem to –
get myself back
on track
when I have no space
to move
No space to breathe
no space to live
please just give
me a break
for god’s sake
at least be helpful
not harmful
be aware
and care
instead of just
always there
– always in my way.
please…
make it be better than just okay.
because every day
living this way-
is not living
it’s death-

at least tomorrow
*sigh*
is a new day
to try again.

-k.c.

I need my space
and a notebook to write my poems

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We

I am here

And you are there

But we are connected

Many many lifetimes

Of knowing

And waiting

But do you want me

Or do you just want me to be safe?

You got your life

And I have to wait

But I don’t think you want to wait

Around for me

I know what I want

But I have things I have to do

And people I can’t let down

And you have others

You want and must have around

I want a family

I want to truly be loved

seen

Felt

And understood

If you could feel my heart

You would know

But you only show

What you show

And I really don’t know

Where I fit into that

Maybe I’m dumb

Or blind

Or half blind

But I do know my heart feels something

Strong

For you

What do you want from me?

What do you have with others

What do we do?

It can’t only come from Me

Clearly

Speak

What is inside you

may your dreams be better than this

in a blink of an eye-
lash out
and about
face-
time-keeps on
ticking
TICKING
ticking
into
the futureless
loop
of hands that
wave high
and scoop low

and everything we think we know
has been wrong
as the grand finale
begins
this marks our end
this is our swan song

oh sing me a tune
one soft and sweet
a song where I
and the dreamworld meet
one that soothes me to slumber

and one that will promise to keep
me safe
from
the fall
of it all
and what is about to come.

-kyoko cole

into the trees

lovers
you look empty
the love
might just change like lies

the changes catch
unborn truth
the voices speak just like you
the trace of silence
was real
with this feeling
from the last moment
without knowing
all you need
the lonely
-after hour anxiety
some little bugs eat
you ask one question
and hide before it can get to you

child distract him
absolutely invisible
there were cries
waiting for the night
the scent collects
but here this idea comes
and you need sleep and affection
so here it gets lost
the only fatality
made forgetting more melancholy
not sudden and nothing happened
this sinking evil illusion
life disappears
the voice here
never existed
this false face
tears softly and challenges
the real

all eyes had felt
your denial
this useless existence
away with the night

you who come from the dark-
unusual
into this light-
strange
your love
was enough
above the sky
you can see
that this is the end
whispering time
hear the word
hear our language
a sudden
taste of
mystic too
many must look
not dwell
under the fall
without the curtain
glow like you

purple would have understood
the holding hand
the mouth both interested and obsessed
for you
the black was still light
this face and soul the same
everything around you
faded and
remained

slippery
love
shake you out
out
out
this was absolutely different
your heart vibrations smile
flames from the body
will not be tamed
they are beautiful
lovely but cursed
as you
find them new meaning
I’ll remind you
of my kisses
and continue life mute

-kyoko cole

night sights and sounds

dark fever growl
you scream and howl
wild by night
I lose sight.
Where did you go?
something I may never know
or most likely I already do

I sit and watch
sleepless nights
fall over me.

I wish I had the feel
I feel too much
I don’t feel at all
I wonder which one
is real.

-Kyoko Cole

Wanna go for a ride?

Brush it

Under

The rug

That is your cover

You don’t have to be a lover

But a hater?

Be more original

Or don’t be at all

Die by the morning

The minute I enter

A different zip code

I have already begun

Mourning you.

I will not attend your funeral

Wearing robes of black

Draped down to the ground

And you even further below

I will not shed a tear

In public

I will not visit your grave

Jealous eyes

Are watching

Forgetting you

They won’t be saved

The ground we walk on

Is shifting

Ever so slightly

The things you’ve done

Aren’t taken so lightly

It’s time to start a new

Goodbye

Rest well

For the long sleep

And the long farewell

This finale is long overdo

Sunshine for a spotless mind

I wish I could forget

Eject you from my brain

And heart

Erase my memory of you

Until you become somebody new

Or better yet you won’t become anything at all

It’s not fair that you can forget me

And I cannot ever forget you

Asphalt Dreams

4 a.m. blues

lightning bolt eyes
star kissed smile
i haven’t been fooled
by that face in awhile

words dipped sweet
kissed sugar lips
I drown in a rush
of slippery slips

you comfort me
with a whisper of sweet nothings
you relax me to sleep before the kill
and make me feel it’s such a thrill
your touch
is the clutch
that tangles me
and strangles me
softly
hard
and hardly soft
I open my eyes
to realize
a moment
too late
then forever gone
and so am I.

murdered by love
or assisted suicide
either way
a perfect way to die.

Mothers who can’t love

I’m listening to Mothers Who Can’t Love by Susan Forward, Donna Frazier Glynn, narrated by Susan Forward, Kathleen Gati, Julia Whelan, Cherise Boothe, David Atlas on my Audible app. Try Audible and get it here: https://www.audible.com/pd?asin=B00EOXMXT0&source_code=ASSORAP0511160006