I’m sorry for all that I did to make you feel unloved
I loved (love) you more than anything
I really should have handled things differently
I think we both could have but
I’m not here to point fingers
All I want is for you
To be happy
Even if it’s not with me.
The past is there
We leave a part
Of who we are
Who we were
Taken in and
Pushed out
Somewhere pieces of us
Remain
In a micro trace
Floating in air
Or somewhere in space
Sometimes i feel you
Within an old place
Or taken again
In someone
Out somewhere
Breathing in air
truth in rented rooms
walls that have stood
lifetimes before I ever would –
Collecting secrets
Collecting dust
In forgotten spaces
in forgotten faces
In rented rooms
Misunderstood
Sometimes I wish I could
The hurt
Leave this body
and just forget
But like old walls
Hold silhouettes
Of the past
that will never be again
I hold
A part of you
All I want to do
Is be close to you
I don’t want to waste any more time
Without you
When I know that you’re the one.
I sit here and look at a room filled with stuff
memories collecting dust
2 pianos covered with this and that
and on the couch asleep
is my siamese cat
I don’t know what to do
I don’t know what to say
when fear sets in
and gets in the way
frightened child
inside the 40 year old me
why must I always have to be
number 1
the best
the first
the only
given 100%
have all
or want nothing
I don’t know…
I sit here
and wait for my feelings to go
down a bit
level out
but I know
if I do
then I’ll do without
so I sit
in silence
Let myself feel
Letting go
Is the way to heal
photographs of people
some I can’t remember
some I would rather forget
some… I will forever miss
if I could do it all over again
I would
and I wouldn’t change a thing
…
not because it was perfect (it wasn’t)
not because I didn’t fuck up (I most definitely did)
but because all those things…
led me to you
and it’s you – I have been waiting my whole life for.
😉
_
Don’t want to scream and shout
but I can’t seem to figure it out
I feel like half a person
a big hole in soul
a big hole in my heart
when I reach out to you
you just tear me more apart
and I wish I was better
maybe better off dead
I let myself go through it
be in it
just to get you out of my head.
it’s so easy for you to be mean
hide behind your smoke screen
if you ever loved me
if you ever cared
I can’t tell
I’m not well
you love seeing me down
you love putting me through hell
and I wish I was happy
maybe I’d be better off dead
I have to get through this
be in this
just to shed you from my head
I know things will get easier
time heals
or so they say
but right now
I’m all kinds of broken
-just waiting out the days
until I’m okay again
Above is a great journal to help you get through a breakup. Sometimes keeping a record of how you feel and what you’re going through day by day can help you better understand yourself and be more self-aware. It also can help you be aware of unhealthy patterns and habits.
stuck
inside
a room
for days
on repeat
the same day plays
over and over
no fresh air
day after day
going nowhere
the less i live
the less I care
You know what you need
Listen to yourself
And feed
The starving parts of you
Before it’s too late
Seriously join. They have some key cool stuff for cheap prices
heart space
room space
head space
my space
shared with a
head case
nowhere to go
no place
to move
I can’t breathe
I can’t face
it anymore
I try…
to make it better
I try
to make it okay-
to make it
just o.k.-
only to
have it not be
okay
only to have it
stay…
Just the same
or get even worse.
like a curse
I need to reverse
but I can’t
seem to –
get myself back
on track
when I have no space
to move
No space to breathe
no space to live
please just give
me a break
for god’s sake
at least be helpful
not harmful
be aware
and care
instead of just
always there
– always in my way.
please…
make it be better than just okay.
because every day
living this way-
is not living
it’s death-
at least tomorrow
*sigh*
is a new day
to try again.
-k.c.
Disclosure: Some of the links below are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.
I am here
And you are there
But we are connected
Many many lifetimes
Of knowing
And waiting
But do you want me
Or do you just want me to be safe?
You got your life
And I have to wait
But I don’t think you want to wait
Around for me
I know what I want
But I have things I have to do
And people I can’t let down
And you have others
You want and must have around
I want a family
I want to truly be loved
seen
Felt
And understood
If you could feel my heart
You would know
But you only show
What you show
And I really don’t know
Where I fit into that
Maybe I’m dumb
Or blind
Or half blind
But I do know my heart feels something
Strong
For you
What do you want from me?
What do you have with others
What do we do?
It can’t only come from Me
Clearly
Speak
What is inside you
. . . but here I go anyway.
Poetry and fiction not intended for the masses — Sam M. Phillips
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