Month: May 2016

I host the ghost of you

I can hear you in the silence 

Echoing my ears 

I see the trace of your face 

Everywhere and it brings me to tears 

Feels like years 

Oh it feels like years

So I host 

Your ghost

That haunts me

And my fears

Most everyday 

Long after you left

You just won’t go away

And I can’t rid myself of you, you, you

Oh you

Why don’t you stay 

A little bit longer

A little bit later 

A little more

A little  less

Look at me now 

You left me Alone in this mess 

I must confess:I find comfort in your shadow 

Of yesterday’s past 

But the more you linger 

The less I live
Oh you

You you 

Please just go away 

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but he can’t be a man cause he doesn’t smoke the same cigarettes as me

walking through the store
couldn’t carry anymore
couldn’t care any less
as i do right now

in some other life
i took a knife
and carved 2 names on a tree

To preserve the time of we

Many moons ago when it was just you and me

And the cats

To see the  names and remember the life

We lived long before this

And remember the love

We both miss 

Over a life time ago

We knew someday we would meet again 

Break the hyoid bone already

You’re too much
Please stop
I’m a person who needs space
Who needs time with other people
Who needs to be away
From you

I don’t need every single aspect of my life TO BE a part of yours

HUNTED DOWN
Like an animal
You want to squeeze to death
You want to love to death
No air
no privacy

You’re making me feel like i can’t breathe

Even when you’re away
You’re still there
Silently watching
I can feel you
And it makes my stomach turn to know
Nothing is mine

You need to care
To not care about everything
To not invade my everything
To be okay that I want to be with others
To be okay that I don’t want to be with you
Without making me feel bad
Without making me feel bad
WITHOUT MAKING ME FEEL BAD
Or i’m going to run away
As far and as fast as I can
To get away from you
to get the air I need
To breathe
And the space I need
To breathe
To not feel bad
That I don’t want what you want in the way you want it
No guilt trips
No sad face
No holding shit over my head
No suffocation
No pressure
NO FUCKING PRESSURE!!!!
NO MORE! 

Control

You hurt me

By being you

I’m not about any of this

And i feel

Like a child

Who doubles as a punching bag

For sport

For fun

For game

That you don’t  even know you play

I don’t wanna win

At your game

I don’t want play

I don’t know who the fuck you are
Right now

But i know that this sucks
And feels like shit
And i want to go away
Alone
And not be anything like that to you

Ex wife

Ex wife
Get a life
Of your own

Stop

Stalking

Someone (me)

You don’t know

It’s weird
And creepy
And lame on you

To be so interested in me

Don’t be a troll
That talks shit
Like your opinion actually matters. 
Like you matter… 
Don’t be a catty bitch
I find it amusing
You’re too old to act like you’re in high school. Ha
You’re miserable and unhappy
But that’s your own damn fault