abuse – skin loves fever

split hit

hurt becomes normal
no one notices
you can feel yourself start to fade away
no grace
stuck in a place
you can’t escape
loose words
lose meaning
hurt becomes normal
you can’t kill what is already dead
and he can’t take back
what he fails to see
and all the ugly deeds and hurtful words he said
just like grandpa
who confused your little head
with words that don’t match actions
when the line becomes too blurred
knowing wrong
but told it’s right
being sold as gold
until one day you’re old
and filled with fright
no one to trust
no one who understands your everlasting struggle
no one understands your daily fight
silenced
into solitude
made to feel stupid
grayed out until you’ve so pushed down
with only vampires and clowns
all around
you lose yourself
and don’t want to be found
it’s not worth it
nothing is worth it
and
you used to have light
you used to have light….

it’s all gone.

I’m not going to lie just to keep you around

you hurt my heart
but it’s happened before
so if you’re trying to break me
(you already have)
if you’re trying to make me
(someone I’m not)
if you don’t get your way
then you’re done
if I don’t say
sorry all the time
for things I’m not sorry for
yet you never apologize for anything
you do
then why am I trying so hard
to be with you?
you’re not trying to be with me
you’re just trying to make me do what you want
and I need to be good to myself
(you’ll never be)
I appreciate the things you’ve done for me
but it doesn’t take away
all the things you take away
from my soul
how would you feel?
I don’t think you do
you have no empathy
so I don’t think you can understand
(anyone other than yourself)

whatever the case is.
love isn’t what you give
love isn’t what I feel from you
you want control.
you need to always be right
even when you act wrong
there is no compromise
or respect from you
loving you
is killing me
and YOU WILL NEVER SEE
(yourself)
when all you see
is the wrong
and the bad
of me (that you believe)
I know I’m more than you allow me to be
and now I see
that you’ll never see
how you are.

and people like you never change
it’s easier to blame me for everything
than to see yourself and change.

the easy way out is to leave
and that’s all you ever do
so this time I’m not stopping you

mommy dearest

64 Signs of Mental and Emotional Abuse: How to Identify It, What to Do

It isn’t always easy to recognize the signs of mental and emotional abuse. Psychological abuse involves attempts to frighten, control, or isolate you. It can happen anywhere: in a romantic relationship, among family members, or even on the job. Here’s how to recognize it and what to do next.
— Read on www.healthline.com/health/signs-of-mental-abuse