truth – skin loves fever

waiting out the days

Don’t want to scream and shout
but I can’t seem to figure it out
I feel like half a person
a big hole in soul
a big hole in my heart
when I reach out to you
you just tear me more apart

and I wish I was better
maybe better off dead
I let myself go through it
be in it
just to get you out of my head.

it’s so easy for you to be mean
hide behind your smoke screen
if you ever loved me
if you ever cared
I can’t tell
I’m not well
you love seeing me down
you love putting me through hell

and I wish I was happy
maybe I’d be better off dead
I have to get through this
be in this
just to shed you from my head

I know things will get easier
time heals
or so they say
but right now
I’m all kinds of broken
-just waiting out the days

until I’m okay again

Photo by Tuesday Temptation on Pexels.com

Above is a great journal to help you get through a breakup. Sometimes keeping a record of how you feel and what you’re going through day by day can help you better understand yourself and be more self-aware. It also can help you be aware of unhealthy patterns and habits.

what a mess

you can be mad
misunderstand me
think that I’m bad
but I’m just here
alone and sad
if you could only see
what you meant to me

I need something good
to get me out of this funk
to show me that I could
have a good life
have a good day
remember why I’m here
help me find my way

cause being alone
is wrecking my mind
if you see me
please be kind

…. ugh

where no one can find me

Seven days

Of solid sadness

Sinking slipping sinking deep

Shooting guns

all a Blazin’

grazin’ skin

but I can’t sleep

I can only fade away

As the pieces creep on in

But where I am

Who knows where
I end and
you begin

I do…
and I waited for you
but I can’t get you to

I don’t know where you are
I don’t know where you hide
I am all alone here
Got no one by my side

I don’t need to be yours
If you aren’t really here
I don’t need to feel safe
When I live with all my fears

I have no choice….

Seven deadly sins
But none as deadly as your cold
even the book of right and wrong
all those lessons have grown old

Like me

I don’t know where you are
I don’t know where you hide
I don’t need to be anybody’s baby
When there’s no one by my side

You can take off to the city
You can take off to the shore
You can take off with my soul
I don’t need it anymore

I don’t need it anymore

I don’t need me anymore

some day after this one
there will be no place left for you to hide
that is when you will finally understand me
with no one by your side

like me

many years too late
many years lost
we fight to be right
but at what cost

This world is not made for lovers
This world is not made for the kind
This world is out for blood
out to kill your soul and steal your mind

this is no fun

Better to be dead
than always on the run
it’s not living
when your time is done

Like me

blah blah

stuck
inside
a room
for days
on repeat
the same day plays
over and over
no fresh air
day after day
going nowhere

the less i live
the less I care

Listen to yourself

You know what you need

Listen to yourself

And feed

The starving parts of you

Before it’s too late

the end

I am alone
with my head
and my heavy heart
silent
and cold
why did you leave me this way?
why did you promise me you would always stay.
now I am left alone
with only these feelings
I get no response
no reply
from you
it’s like I’m not even here
like I’m invisible
not worth your time
and it hurts
it hurts so bad
to be ignored
and treated like
nothing.
nobody
when I was once somebody to you.
what can I do?
not a thing
but to go away.
and stay away.
you pushed me so far away from you
so far gone is where I’ll stay.
this is the only way
I won’t have to feel
this pain.

We

I am here

And you are there

But we are connected

Many many lifetimes

Of knowing

And waiting

But do you want me

Or do you just want me to be safe?

You got your life

And I have to wait

But I don’t think you want to wait

Around for me

I know what I want

But I have things I have to do

And people I can’t let down

And you have others

You want and must have around

I want a family

I want to truly be loved

seen

Felt

And understood

If you could feel my heart

You would know

But you only show

What you show

And I really don’t know

Where I fit into that

Maybe I’m dumb

Or blind

Or half blind

But I do know my heart feels something

Strong

For you

What do you want from me?

What do you have with others

What do we do?

It can’t only come from Me

Clearly

Speak

What is inside you

may your dreams be better than this

in a blink of an eye-
lash out
and about
face-
time-keeps on
ticking
TICKING
ticking
into
the futureless
loop
of hands that
wave high
and scoop low

and everything we think we know
has been wrong
as the grand finale
begins
this marks our end
this is our swan song

oh sing me a tune
one soft and sweet
a song where I
and the dreamworld meet
one that soothes me to slumber

and one that will promise to keep
me safe
from
the fall
of it all
and what is about to come.

-kyoko cole

right fighter (serial killer)

murderer
sickness
I am sick
but you are cancer
you think you have the answer
to everything
which you do not know
even though
you know me better than most
here’s a toast
to you
and your ability to kill
at will
and still
think you’re right
even when you’ve lost sight
blind as a bat
scaredy cat
with your proverbiale claws out
but worse
cause you curse
everyone you love
in your “passive aggressive
fucked up
fuck you ”
kind of way
that ain’t kind at all
do you get off on watching others
that you think are guilty- fall?
and let me pose another question
for you
that i know you’ll never answer
cause you’re too busy building up your stupid wall
is there a slight chance
just maybe
quite possibly…
you could be wrong at all?
ha
NEVER! NOT YOU!
stand by your convictions
fight to be right
just to be right
can’t even acknowledge left
or that you could be wrong
same old story
same old UGLY SAD PATHETIC song
spread your ill
and kill
the ones who ever loved you
OFF
SO YOU CAN SAY
IN YOUR FUCKED UP HEAD
“at least i’m right”

detox

kiss kiss kiss
3 day of this
and I miss miss miss
you
but you have been somewhere else
far from me
far from you
far from here
for quite some time
every time I call you near
I’ve been talking to fear
you’ll save yourself at any cost
save yourself first at any cost
even if it means being lost
I’m lost
I call you near
in a trance
in a sleep dance
I call you near
but you never hear
even if you do
you’re not here

into the trees

lovers
you look empty
the love
might just change like lies

the changes catch
unborn truth
the voices speak just like you
the trace of silence
was real
with this feeling
from the last moment
without knowing
all you need
the lonely
-after hour anxiety
some little bugs eat
you ask one question
and hide before it can get to you

child distract him
absolutely invisible
there were cries
waiting for the night
the scent collects
but here this idea comes
and you need sleep and affection
so here it gets lost
the only fatality
made forgetting more melancholy
not sudden and nothing happened
this sinking evil illusion
life disappears
the voice here
never existed
this false face
tears softly and challenges
the real

all eyes had felt
your denial
this useless existence
away with the night

you who come from the dark-
unusual
into this light-
strange
your love
was enough
above the sky
you can see
that this is the end
whispering time
hear the word
hear our language
a sudden
taste of
mystic too
many must look
not dwell
under the fall
without the curtain
glow like you

purple would have understood
the holding hand
the mouth both interested and obsessed
for you
the black was still light
this face and soul the same
everything around you
faded and
remained

slippery
love
shake you out
out
out
this was absolutely different
your heart vibrations smile
flames from the body
will not be tamed
they are beautiful
lovely but cursed
as you
find them new meaning
I’ll remind you
of my kisses
and continue life mute