I am alone
with my head
and my heavy heart
silent
and cold
why did you leave me this way?
why did you promise me you would always stay.
now I am left alone
with only these feelings
I get no response
no reply
from you
it’s like I’m not even here
like I’m invisible
not worth your time
and it hurts
it hurts so bad
to be ignored
and treated like
nothing.
nobody
when I was once somebody to you.
what can I do?
not a thing
but to go away.
and stay away.
you pushed me so far away from you
so far gone is where I’ll stay.
this is the only way
I won’t have to feel
this pain.
Tag: truth
We
I am here
And you are there
But we are connected
Many many lifetimes
Of knowing
And waiting
But do you want me
Or do you just want me to be safe?
You got your life
And I have to wait
But I don’t think you want to wait
Around for me
I know what I want
But I have things I have to do
And people I can’t let down
And you have others
You want and must have around
I want a family
I want to truly be loved
seen
Felt
And understood
If you could feel my heart
You would know
But you only show
What you show
And I really don’t know
Where I fit into that
Maybe I’m dumb
Or blind
Or half blind
But I do know my heart feels something
Strong
For you
What do you want from me?
What do you have with others
What do we do?
It can’t only come from Me
Clearly
Speak
What is inside you
may your dreams be better than this
in a blink of an eye-
lash out
and about
face-
time-keeps on
ticking
TICKING
ticking
into
the futureless
loop
of hands that
wave high
and scoop low
and everything we think we know
has been wrong
as the grand finale
begins
this marks our end
this is our swan song
oh sing me a tune
one soft and sweet
a song where I
and the dreamworld meet
one that soothes me to slumber
and one that will promise to keep
me safe
from
the fall
of it all
and what is about to come.
-kyoko cole
right fighter (serial killer)
murderer
sickness
I am sick
but you are cancer
you think you have the answer
to everything
which you do not know
even though
you know me better than most
here’s a toast
to you
and your ability to kill
at will
and still
think you’re right
even when you’ve lost sight
blind as a bat
scaredy cat
with your proverbiale claws out
but worse
cause you curse
everyone you love
in your “passive aggressive
fucked up
fuck you ”
kind of way
that ain’t kind at all
do you get off on watching others
that you think are guilty- fall?
and let me pose another question
for you
that i know you’ll never answer
cause you’re too busy building up your stupid wall
is there a slight chance
just maybe
quite possibly…
you could be wrong at all?
ha
NEVER! NOT YOU!
stand by your convictions
fight to be right
just to be right
can’t even acknowledge left
or that you could be wrong
same old story
same old UGLY SAD PATHETIC song
spread your ill
and kill
the ones who ever loved you
OFF
SO YOU CAN SAY
IN YOUR FUCKED UP HEAD
“at least i’m right”
detox
kiss kiss kiss
3 day of this
and I miss miss miss
you
but you have been somewhere else
far from me
far from you
far from here
for quite some time
every time I call you near
I’ve been talking to fear
you’ll save yourself at any cost
save yourself first at any cost
even if it means being lost
I’m lost
I call you near
in a trance
in a sleep dance
I call you near
but you never hear
even if you do
you’re not here
into the trees
lovers
you look empty
the love
might just change like lies
the changes catch
unborn truth
the voices speak just like you
the trace of silence
was real
with this feeling
from the last moment
without knowing
all you need
the lonely
-after hour anxiety
some little bugs eat
you ask one question
and hide before it can get to you
child distract him
absolutely invisible
there were cries
waiting for the night
the scent collects
but here this idea comes
and you need sleep and affection
so here it gets lost
the only fatality
made forgetting more melancholy
not sudden and nothing happened
this sinking evil illusion
life disappears
the voice here
never existed
this false face
tears softly and challenges
the real
all eyes had felt
your denial
this useless existence
away with the night
you who come from the dark-
unusual
into this light-
strange
your love
was enough
above the sky
you can see
that this is the end
whispering time
hear the word
hear our language
a sudden
taste of
mystic too
many must look
not dwell
under the fall
without the curtain
glow like you
purple would have understood
the holding hand
the mouth both interested and obsessed
for you
the black was still light
this face and soul the same
everything around you
faded and
remained
slippery
love
shake you out
out
out
this was absolutely different
your heart vibrations smile
flames from the body
will not be tamed
they are beautiful
lovely but cursed
as you
find them new meaning
I’ll remind you
of my kisses
and continue life mute
-kyoko cole
wake up
don’t give away your freedom. don’t give away your rights. don’t believe everything you read or hear. use critical thinking. fact check. the media does not have your best interest at heart
Sunshine for a spotless mind
I wish I could forget
Eject you from my brain
And heart
Erase my memory of you
Until you become somebody new
Or better yet you won’t become anything at all
It’s not fair that you can forget me
And I cannot ever forget you
Mothers who can’t love
I’m listening to Mothers Who Can’t Love by Susan Forward, Donna Frazier Glynn, narrated by Susan Forward, Kathleen Gati, Julia Whelan, Cherise Boothe, David Atlas on my Audible app. Try Audible and get it here: https://www.audible.com/pd?asin=B00EOXMXT0&source_code=ASSORAP0511160006
Killing trees
Paper plates
And landscapes
Rain drops too
And morning dew
All of the things
that remind me of you
Won’t leave me alone
Won’t go away
But I can’t keep you
If you don’t want to stay
the dead and I
Won’t go our separate ways
But you do
it’s easy too
Nothing ever sticks to you
You just move along
Without a care
One day here
Next day there
Somewhere
(nowhere?)
Someplace else
With someone else
You’ll never know
How it feels
to watch you go
You’ll never know
How it feels
To feel this low
Hoping this time
will be
The last time
Somebody that I used to know
Quitters always believe the lies they tell themselves because delusion is easier to live with than the reality that they settled for an easier path.
-Shannon L. Alder
Evil loves to subvert all blame onto the innocent.
-E.A. Bucchianeri, Vocation of a Gadfly (Gadfly Saga, #2)
In the narcissist’s world being accepted or cared for (not to mention loved) is a foreign language. It is meaningless or even repellent. One might recite the most delicate haiku in Japanese and it would still remain utterly meaningless to a non-speaker of Japanese. This does not diminish the value of the haiku or of the Japanese language, needless to say. But it means nothing to the non-speaker.
Narcissists damage and hurt but they do so offhandedly and naturally, as an afterthought…
They are aware of what they are doing to others – but they do not care.
-Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited
No other being is lesser human than the one who thinks of others as such.
-Abhijit Naskar, Human Making is Our Mission: A Treatise on Parenting (Humanism Series)
In the eyes of a Narcissist, they are perfect and never make mistakes. It’s always your fault.
-Tracy Malone
Once you are no longer a source of supply a narcissist will discard you cruelly with horrifically unimaginable devastation. This is when they show the ‘no empathy’ part. They do not care about you and learning that puts victims into a tailspin of confusion and depression.
-Tracy Malone
The emotionally cold or distant trait also rears its head during arguments when one person is experiencing and expressing significant emotion and the narcissistic person just checks out and does not respond—or does so in a cold and clipped manner. At such times you may find yourself spinning—and actually feeling as though you are “going crazy”—because the coldness of the response makes it even more difficult to regulate yourself in that moment. The emotional coldness can be confusing for you and may result in attempts to jump through hoops to generate warmth and connection with your partner. I have observed people wearing themselves out over decades, trying to create a fire where there was no possibility.
-Ramani Durvasula, Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
It might look like your enemies are winning, but be ready God is about to flip the script.
-Shannon L. Alder, The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Bible
One of the easiest ways to discover if someone is compatible with you is to gauge their emotional intelligence. Are they a kind and sensitive person? Will they be respectful towards your sensitivities? Or, are they emotionally stunted? Remember, we tend to attract narcissistic types who lack empathy.
-Aletheia Luna, Awakened Empath: The Ultimate Guide to Emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Healing
A narcissist, on the other hand, is the exact opposite of an empath. Emotionally, narcissists are like brick walls who see and hear others but fail to understand or relate to them. As a result of their emotional shallowness, narcissists are essentially devoid of all empathy or compassion for other people. Lacking empathy, a narcissist is a very destructive and dangerous person to be around.
-Mateo Sol, Awakened Empath: The Ultimate Guide to Emotional, Psychological and Spiritual Healing
skin loves fever 