Quitters always believe the lies they tell themselves because delusion is easier to live with than the reality that they settled for an easier path.
-Shannon L. Alder
Evil loves to subvert all blame onto the innocent.
-E.A. Bucchianeri, Vocation of a Gadfly (Gadfly Saga, #2)
In the narcissist’s world being accepted or cared for (not to mention loved) is a foreign language. It is meaningless or even repellent. One might recite the most delicate haiku in Japanese and it would still remain utterly meaningless to a non-speaker of Japanese. This does not diminish the value of the haiku or of the Japanese language, needless to say. But it means nothing to the non-speaker.
Narcissists damage and hurt but they do so offhandedly and naturally, as an afterthought…
They are aware of what they are doing to others – but they do not care.
-Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited
No other being is lesser human than the one who thinks of others as such.
In the eyes of a Narcissist, they are perfect and never make mistakes. It’s always your fault.
Once you are no longer a source of supply a narcissist will discard you cruelly with horrifically unimaginable devastation. This is when they show the ‘no empathy’ part. They do not care about you and learning that puts victims into a tailspin of confusion and depression.
The emotionally cold or distant trait also rears its head during arguments when one person is experiencing and expressing significant emotion and the narcissistic person just checks out and does not respond—or does so in a cold and clipped manner. At such times you may find yourself spinning—and actually feeling as though you are “going crazy”—because the coldness of the response makes it even more difficult to regulate yourself in that moment. The emotional coldness can be confusing for you and may result in attempts to jump through hoops to generate warmth and connection with your partner. I have observed people wearing themselves out over decades, trying to create a fire where there was no possibility.
-Ramani Durvasula, Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
It might look like your enemies are winning, but be ready God is about to flip the script.
-Shannon L. Alder, The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Bible
One of the easiest ways to discover if someone is compatible with you is to gauge their emotional intelligence. Are they a kind and sensitive person? Will they be respectful towards your sensitivities? Or, are they emotionally stunted? Remember, we tend to attract narcissistic types who lack empathy.
A narcissist, on the other hand, is the exact opposite of an empath. Emotionally, narcissists are like brick walls who see and hear others but fail to understand or relate to them. As a result of their emotional shallowness, narcissists are essentially devoid of all empathy or compassion for other people. Lacking empathy, a narcissist is a very destructive and dangerous person to be around.