skin loves fever

detox

kiss kiss kiss
3 day of this
and I miss miss miss
you
but you have been somewhere else
far from me
far from you
far from here
for quite some time
every time I call you near
I’ve been talking to fear
you’ll save yourself at any cost
save yourself first at any cost
even if it means being lost
I’m lost
I call you near
in a trance
in a sleep dance
I call you near
but you never hear
even if you do
you’re not here

Summer evening

What’s the point

I know what it is but why does it have to be so difficult?

Put me in the Box

I used to call home

I feel sick when you do

I feel even worse without you

Push and pull

Yes and no

Come and go

All fucking day

One fight

Shouldn’t ruin what’s been right

Even though what’s wrong

Is bullshit annoying.

I go outside

And stare at the Brick wall

In my back yard

It’s missing a brick

The air feels cool

But the tension stays thick

I just want you to be happy

Can I be happy too?

Yes.

I can.

Buster and Mew R.I.P.

Nothing

You cared about me

Only when it served you

And now you do

Exactly what you always do

Nothing

New

Nothing at all

I’m the one

to break your fall?

When all you do

Is hide behind

Your stupid wall

After you start shit

And just quit

What a waste

Of everything

I gave

You did everything

(To destroy)

And left me nothing

Good at all

You need professional fucking help

happy Thursday

make your way

the years go by
so fast
warp speed
did I need…
all the crazy
all the bullshit???
I don’t understand
how so many years
have passed
in a flash of light
in the beat of a heart
sometimes I just want to go back
to back to the start
just yesterday
I was there
now I’m here
aged in the
age of lament
with all those years
and days
and moments
spent
with all the people
and places
and things
that went
along
now gone
time
the bittersweet
heartbreaker

what’s it all about
to be with
only then to be left without
it’s kind of a cruel joke
we are born
just to croak

all the pain and all the joy
we will never be here again
not like this
not this moment
not ever again
let the love in
let the bullshit go

you will miss this
you will miss
I miss it
more than you will ever know

Crow for dinner?

burnt my two fingers

Burnt

Two fingers

Dry lips

Make Papers stick

As fingers slide down

I ash all over myself

So not myself .

Or maybe this is really

Who I am.

God damn

Albatross

Knuckle under

Kneel over

Found myself down

Seems like a lot has

kicked me around

To the ground

Where I’ve already been

But now

The difference is

I don’t care

To speak up

To say how I feel

To any of you

Who fake being real

What good does it do

If people aren’t true

It doesn’t.

Another night locked up

In a bathroom

In a cell

In this self created hell

Alone

And not feeling so well

Alone

But Not feeling all that bad

Actually feeling somewhat glad

Water from the faucet

Water down the drain

I’m done with you

I’m done with pane (yes I spelled that right)

Want to start a fight

No thanks

The hour is getting late

Not worth the wait

Take one for the road

and I also took off

This heavy load

Without a voice

But that is by choice

My choice

Is now

To rejoice

In putting an end

to every useless fairweather friend

I didn’t want or ever need

I’ve already started planting new seeds

Of change

And I am happier right now

than I have ever been.

Time to allow

Only the best things in

Garage yoga cigarette blues

Self split

Can never quite put

My finger on it

But something is there

To make me aware

Of tiny shifts

Of attitude and you

And it’s making me blue

It’s better not to care

Because everyone else doesn’t really seem to anymore

If they ever even did

It’s making me blue

That all I ever was to you (the only one)

Was nothing

Without you

I feel nothing

You

I miss you

But I know

You don’t

Miss me

A little boy

He does everything

He doesn’t want me to do to him

And I’m tired of

His hypocrasy

His lost

Is my gain

He’s showing me

What not to care about

All I need to do

Is stay calm

And not get so upset

Over people

Who don’t know how

To care

To make others want to stick around

This is a bad investment

And I’m not putting any more

In to something that returns less and less

It’s worthless

And a waste of my time

And energy

To deal with someone

Who can’t play fair

another day passes

take another drink
to sink
your mind into
out of the blue
and into the black
just another
sick attack
just another
thing to stack
on top of
all the other
challenges
and
obstacles
I don’t want to understand
but I do
but can’t you stop
and see me
like I see you
tummy churns
and the heart burns
I die a little more
every time
it goes
and blows
a little more
away
all the things I try
but fail
to say
that you
don’t hear
don’t care to listen to
anyway
why do you make me feel this
fucked up way
I’m not okay