I’m sorry for all that I did to make you feel unloved
I loved (love) you more than anything
I really should have handled things differently
I think we both could have but
I’m not here to point fingers
All I want is for you
To be happy
Even if it’s not with me.
I loved you.
My love for you
was deeper and stronger than
you will ever know.
You rejected it.
You still reject it
and you will always reject it
because holding on to what is NOT true
is more important to you
than
holding on to me
and us.
You were my lover
and my friend
and you had so many chances to
make it right
make it better
be here
like you said you would
be my friend
and follow through with your words
but you never did
you never do
and now there is nothing that I can do
because
there is no more time.
the time you had
you wasted
you ignored
you spent punishing me
all the things you failed to see
will soon be gone
at least for me
you only punished yourself.
all the times I called you
– got no answer-
asked you to come over
and see me
one last time
–
I called your name
many times
and still you never came
once upon a time
you were my love…
now it’s my time to say goodbye…
so goodbye.
even though I am no longer important to you
even though you cared more about hating me
than loving me
I will forever (beyond this lifetime) love you
and
you will forever be important to me
—
I’ll see you again my friend
in the next life
when we come back as cats
(or me as a bird and you as a wolf)
Goodbye.
…
The past is there
We leave a part
Of who we are
Who we were
Taken in and
Pushed out
Somewhere pieces of us
Remain
In a micro trace
Floating in air
Or somewhere in space
Sometimes i feel you
Within an old place
Or taken again
In someone
Out somewhere
Breathing in air
truth in rented rooms
walls that have stood
lifetimes before I ever would –
Collecting secrets
Collecting dust
In forgotten spaces
in forgotten faces
In rented rooms
Misunderstood
Sometimes I wish I could
The hurt
Leave this body
and just forget
But like old walls
Hold silhouettes
Of the past
that will never be again
I hold
A part of you
shut it down
shut it off
shut it out
shut up
howl to the moon
and cry yourself to sleep
you’re in too deep
on the shallow side
you can run
and I’ll hide
didn’t anyone teach you
not to run with scissors in your hand
you try to walk on water
when you can barely crawl on land
you can kiss off
piss off
kick rocks
get lost
but lost is what you are
you can keep running
but you won’t get very far
what you fear
will always be near
but it won’t be me
that you see
it won’t be me
there is no we.
I don’t owe you anything
there’s nothing I am obligated to do
for you
I do not care
what you want
or how you feel
because nothing about you
is even real
not my problem
none of my concern
i light a match
detach
set it on fire
and let it burn
as I turn
and walk away
not ever looking back
it’s a new day
and I’m not
who I was
before
–
I’m glad you took off
the way you did
I’m glad you showed me who you really are
It hurt like hell at first
but you leaving
made room for someone
who has brought me back to life again
who cares and
who excites
in ways you never would
and
or
never could.
I wish you could know
how my heart feels
I can’t tell you how to be
you only see what you want to see
and you don’t see me
I can’t tell you how I feel
you never cared to listen
you don’t want to hear
you don’t feel me
I came from you
but you were already a million miles away
I have no connection to you
I have no connection to the man who helped you make me too
you never wanted me
I always wanted and needed you
but I know now
you are no mother to me
so now I’ve got to set you free
…
goodbye
All I want to do
Is be close to you
I don’t want to waste any more time
Without you
When I know that you’re the one.
Don’t want to scream and shout
but I can’t seem to figure it out
I feel like half a person
a big hole in soul
a big hole in my heart
when I reach out to you
you just tear me more apart
and I wish I was better
maybe better off dead
I let myself go through it
be in it
just to get you out of my head.
it’s so easy for you to be mean
hide behind your smoke screen
if you ever loved me
if you ever cared
I can’t tell
I’m not well
you love seeing me down
you love putting me through hell
and I wish I was happy
maybe I’d be better off dead
I have to get through this
be in this
just to shed you from my head
I know things will get easier
time heals
or so they say
but right now
I’m all kinds of broken
-just waiting out the days
until I’m okay again
Above is a great journal to help you get through a breakup. Sometimes keeping a record of how you feel and what you’re going through day by day can help you better understand yourself and be more self-aware. It also can help you be aware of unhealthy patterns and habits.
you can be mad
misunderstand me
think that I’m bad
but I’m just here
alone and sad
if you could only see
what you meant to me
I need something good
to get me out of this funk
to show me that I could
have a good life
have a good day
remember why I’m here
help me find my way
cause being alone
is wrecking my mind
if you see me
please be kind
…. ugh
Seven days
Of solid sadness
Sinking slipping sinking deep
Shooting guns
all a Blazin’
grazin’ skin
but I can’t sleep
I can only fade away
As the pieces creep on in
But where I am
Who knows where
I end and
you begin
I do…
and I waited for you
but I can’t get you to
I don’t know where you are
I don’t know where you hide
I am all alone here
Got no one by my side
I don’t need to be yours
If you aren’t really here
I don’t need to feel safe
When I live with all my fears
I have no choice….
Seven deadly sins
But none as deadly as your cold
even the book of right and wrong
all those lessons have grown old
Like me
I don’t know where you are
I don’t know where you hide
I don’t need to be anybody’s baby
When there’s no one by my side
You can take off to the city
You can take off to the shore
You can take off with my soul
I don’t need it anymore
I don’t need it anymore
I don’t need me anymore
some day after this one
there will be no place left for you to hide
that is when you will finally understand me
with no one by your side
like me
many years too late
many years lost
we fight to be right
but at what cost
This world is not made for lovers
This world is not made for the kind
This world is out for blood
out to kill your soul and steal your mind
this is no fun
Better to be dead
than always on the run
it’s not living
when your time is done
Like me
stuck
inside
a room
for days
on repeat
the same day plays
over and over
no fresh air
day after day
going nowhere
the less i live
the less I care
. . . but here I go anyway.
Poetry and fiction not intended for the masses — Sam M. Phillips
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