4 years ago

Looking at old pictures

From when

I didn’t know you

I was happy

I was loved and I loved

I didn’t have to ask

I didn’t have to fear

There was no struggle

There was no drama

There was no doubt.

I liked myself

And i was liked by the people around me

I didn’t feel all this bad shit

That came around

When you did.

You make people crazy

And then slip away into the night

You start the fight

And then dip out

Like a snake in the grass

You’re an ass

And that’s the last thing

I have to write about this matter

Cause you don’t really matter

Much

To

Anyone

Especially not much to me.

I just greatly dislike you

And never want to see you again

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4:14 am Sunday morning

It’s raining and I’m sitting in my car outside my house.

I am alone

And I feel nothing but cold

When you die

You die alone

And I will not go to your funeral

No one will

I will not visit your grave

I will not cry

For I have no tears

Left

For what

I have already begun to forget

I have no fears

I have already lost everything before

You can’t take away anymore

Only years

Which I will forget as well

I will disappear

Like I never was here

And you will be left with

only a shadow

The memories

A reminder

Of my face

You can never replace

You can never erase

But never have back the same again

For I am not the same

I feel nothing but cold

robert smith is an anomaly

i used to be in love
and i believed
love
could change
the world
or at least
i could change the world
because i was in love

it’s all bullshit
and people are no good
even when they are
the hope begins to fade
just like everything else
and the truth seeps in
slowly
making you
comfortably numb
and then crushes you
you become just like everybody else.

i used to feel
until it killed me
now i just know better
before i let any feelings get too settled in
before anything gets too comfortable
i cut it off
there’s no open door policy
there’s no crashing on my couch
there’s no welcome mat for visitors
or company
i don’t even open the door
when there’s a knock.
it will only lead to ruin
and i’ve been there and done that
and never want to do it again

robert smith
i wish i could be just like you.

Boy meets girl from outer space

You….

Make my heart go boom boom boom!!!

I’d rather not

I’d rather not

Be around

People

Who I can’t trust

Cause they can’t trust

And because of that

They act in ways that

can’t be trusted.

This is not the kind of life I want to live

If this is a game for them

I don’t want to play

I’d rather not stay

Around

for the misfire

like a bird on a wire

From some liar

Or three

Just let me be

Free from all this toxicity

Cause that’s not who I am

And I don’t give a damn

If thats the way they wanna be

Just stay the fuck away from me.

Noise noise and more noise

I can read between the lines

I can read the language you don’t speak in words

The writing on the wall is very clear

If you wanted to

You would be

Here.

Big man

Little man

Where do you stand

Little boy

I wasn’t made

For you

to be your little toy

When you come down

If you ever really do

Blabber and smoke

Treating everything

Like it’s one big joke

Laugh it up

Laugh out loud

And while you’re at it

Act so proud

Who you trying to fool

Yourself?

Or the crowd?

Maybe both

In the sky above

On the ground below

Who you really are begins to show

And it hurts only cause I let you in

I’m pretty sure lying

Is a Cardinal sin

Where does the false you end

And the real you begin?

Nothing gets through to you

It’s not all about me

It’s about you too

You live to destroy anything good that I give you

You never look at yourself.

Must be nice living that way

That’s not advanced

That’s pussy-ass shit

If you looked at your behavior even just half the times you’ve made me look at mine then maybe it would work…

But like I said you create problems that aren’t there

And you like to destroy shit that’s actually good.

So I have no more for you.

No more patience

No more understanding

No more chances

No more tolerance for you period

And no more love

I’m done

And you need to stay the fuck away from me. Period

You want to treat me like a bitch then i will be one.

Good riddance you stupid little man.

It’s cold outside

this desire

bottles full of memories

I struggle with the world

without you love

substances find problems

your fear finds misunderstanding

your fear keeps you away

and there’s nothing I can do

to change that

.

time is an island

deserted and alone

afraid to be forgotten

trying to survive

why must the wind

be so harsh?

the fallen

leaves

dance

on.

abandon

walls.

suicide without being able

to die

you take the path

of habit

devils and wolves

hijacked you

and your love

it really doesn’t matter now…

does it?

impossible to

get through

to you.

you got what

you wanted.

me removed.

i give up

and turn away

And stay

That way

On the path that

No longer leads to you.

  • kc

2018

thirty eight hours

and useless

her lonely mother

remained silent

resting on the shoulder

of her companion

the great sun and the heavens

now seemed artificial.

do we understand the power

of our instruments?

vanity of the vanities

sometimes tried to stand and walk

like us

a coat of magnetic mindlessness

the man with bad intent

playing us like the smallest violin

this feeling of emptiness

Is more alive than me

illusions all around us.

to soften the blow

between the operator

and the subjects

you found my energy

in the broken pulse of time

I pulsate with the angels

and then laugh at our farewell

I am a memory

you see… that

this

is the end.

-Kyoko Cole

2018

Everything was not

i see stars

and bible thumpers

bloom and gloom

like the sound

of the man

ready for doom

I put my spell on you

just like before

only now

I am dancing

on the moonlight floor

I can only run

(to you)

I can only hide

(from you)

if you

want me to leave

I will

go

I leave wounded

all the time

with my destination

out the door

where the stakes

are high

and time don’t end

a sweet choke

under faces

of light

hidden within smoke

and imaginary tales

of without any explanation

interested in this study

more here

then there

the absurd to defend

everyone corrupts

in movement

you rather abuse

than love again

the distance between

cause feelings we reject

already seated

i tried more to protect

myself

from what you see

in the mirror

that is me

another suicide

in the distant blue

i lie here

sweetly crushed

by

the pain of you

-kyoko cole

2018

i'm lost and weird without you here. garden of sorrow.

At the end of the stars there is love

by myself
crushed and flooded
by the fall of you

the moonlight
would laugh at me
if he could

I found sanity in the bottle
the wind catches a thought
with my heart in limbo

I must be lost
in a mess
of sadness

just like me
it was hiding
the song held out its hand

I still wonder why
you suffered so
and felt the weight
of my troubled soul

so many illusions break through
an honest man
without branches
is always
the first to go

the best we’ve had
I would run to you in a moment
my fantasies
make me hear your voice

at the center of the light
in darkness
i see you

at the end of the stars
there is love.

-kyoko cole
2018