skin loves fever

I don’t know

This isn’t an easy fix

Don’t tell me to smile

So you can feel better about it

I’m not okay

Uncle James

Grandma

Chris

Job

Buster

Myself

Love

Love is trying to understand the other person and why they feel the way they do and why they are behaving the way they are.

Love isn’t to make them feel worse about themselves and like shit when they already do.

This isn’t getting better

My heart hurts

And I don’t see any reason to continue trying to be a person. No one cares about me anyways. Only at my best but never at my worst.

Conditional

And sad

Im nobody

Except for horrible

And alone.

I know now

That

Tomorrow

Won’t be any better

And I’ll still feel the same

Get treated the same

And be more sad and alone

My quality of life

Is shit

I’m sorry if I ever hurt anyone

I really didn’t mean to

I was hurting too

Too much

I’m taking off

I have enough money for gas

And some food

I can’t be here

There’s nothing left for me here

And I’m sick of taking people’s shit

And abuse

And neglect

Something snapped

I really don’t give a fuck

I learn from the best

That’s all

I won’t be writing for awhile

Wish me luck

Goodbye for now.

-kyoko Thursday February 13th 2020 6:47 pm

Goodbye buster

I don’t want to let you go

But I have to

Now I am truly alone

I don’t know

Isolation

Is making me

Feel worse

But I can’t go outside

And show the world my sad and bashful face

Everything lately just makes me

Not care

About

Anything

anymore

Don’t worry about me anyways

Maybe not this time around

But I’ll get it right

In my next life

Hopefully

But this one has really got me down

I don’t know if I want to turn around

And start a new day

It gets old

And I’m just getting older

While the world around me seems so much colder

(Than it did before )

And so far away

I have nothing more to say

Except I’m sorry

Cut again

Need to stop

Can’t

It’s the only way

I feel

Control

I’m a bitch

Or so you say

Doesn’t matter much

Anyways

You have no idea

How bad I already feel?

Do you love me for yourself

Or do you love me

To actually give me love?

I think it’s the first

One

If I’m not the way you want me to be

Then you show your hate for me

Show your hate for me

I’ll bleed myself dry

Just to make you understand

Where I stand

Don’t think we are the same

Cos we’re not.

Buster

I love you

I wish I could take away your pain

And make you young again

Fuck…

This sucks

What a dick you are

Remember the joker?

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

You get what you deserve

halt

halt by kyoko cole

shadows kiss

this

soft parade down

town

i see you in the month

of gloom

doom

and prance my little dance

around your grave

all the things we cannot save…

the long goodbye

meets the short hello

the time we waste

is wasted below

the belt

and shine

waiting for

the finish line

the end

is not the way

to live

to love

or to spend your day

shake the trees

so the fallen leaves

die to the ground

open your ears

and listen

to the sound

as we miss

many a shadows kiss

has it come to this?

let’s go back to the start

and that begins within

the mind and inside the heart.

mind and heart

think and feel

dream and make

believe

imagine it and it will be

come

one with one

we are.

born again

early Tuesday morning. 5:am
Just finished packing my car
The morning air is an uncomfortable kind of sharp
The wind only makes it worse.
I’m just about ready
to leave this shit hole
before the sun comes out
so I don’t have to see how ugly it is.
the morning sun is harsh
and I don’t want to be stuck in traffic.

I don’t say goodbye
I haven’t told anyone where I’m going
cause I don’t even know
I give my cats some love
and close the door behind me
as I get in the car
I shiver and shake
inside
warming up my car
watching my own breath
I am beside myself
this was my only option
… well not my only option

but
I’ll save that for another day

heading out of this town
I begin to feel okay
I think I might get a new number
go by some other name
just so I don’t feel the same
as I did here
when I get to wherever I go
I don’t know.

and
not knowing
is okay by me.