thirty eight hours

and useless

her lonely mother

remained silent

resting on the shoulder

of her companion

the great sun and the heavens

now seemed artificial.

do we understand the power

of our instruments?

vanity of the vanities

sometimes tried to stand and walk

like us

a coat of magnetic mindlessness

the man with bad intent

playing us like the smallest violin

this feeling of emptiness

Is more alive than me

illusions all around us.

to soften the blow

between the operator

and the subjects

you found my energy

in the broken pulse of time

I pulsate with the angels

and then laugh at our farewell

I am a memory

you see… that

this

is the end.

-Kyoko Cole

2018

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What I do

i'm lost and weird without you here. garden of sorrow.

Shutter out

Bright

In

I sin

And then begin

Again

What else is there to do?

I have no clue.

A piece of me

A piece of you

Died Thursday morning

And I’m lost without

Turning corners

I find doubt

Mixed in with finding pieces of really awesome

Most beautiful people I have ever known

The best of people

Life has ever shown

But I fuck

I suck?

I drink my way back to gold

One of the saddest stories ever told

Is the one I hold

Goodnight another day goes by with out my friend

Will we ever meet again?

I really hope we do.

-kyoko cole

Do you understand me?

No.

Not at all

Never.

Not willing

Not capable

Not true.

Not wanting

Not caring maybe.

But I saw it once

When he maybe cared

Maybe wanted to

Maybe willing

Maybe the demons in his head

Were on vacation

Or tired.

Cause even demons need a break too

I don’t know

All I can say is how I feel

And it’s sad

To see someone you loved so much

Just turn into someone else

And have such hate

And meanness

Doesn’t make me angry

Doesn’t make me want to get revenge

I’m too sad for that

And revenge was never my thing

I let time and truth

Work it’s own magic

But right now

The kind of sadness I feel

Is like when a family member or someone you were super close dies

Except it’s worse

Cause he’s still there

Seeing whatever he wants to see

That isn’t really me

Not seeing me

But letting the real demons

Alter his brain

Take over his soul

Without him even knowing

It’s a sadness I can’t explain

Unless you’ve felt it before

One I never

Want to feel again.

-kyoko cole

Beer as cold as your ex’s heart

I will never understand how some people can be so cold.

To turn off

To love conditionally

To have such black and white thinking and feeling

To be cruel

To make up reasons why to hate

To criticize and put down

Yet be blind to everything that’s good

To completely ignore their own behavior

To make another person feel unwanted

Unimportant

Useless

So many people “love” that way

That’s not love.

That’s just selfishness mixed with a bitterness

You teach others through love

You can kill a man with disregard and neglect

And a mean spirit

Some people’s truth is whatever they were conditioned with from the time they were born

All they know is to pass that down to anyone and everyone they touch.

Yet they don’t see it.

Some people love to blame others or something false as a reason to take out their anger and pain on someone

Some people only know how to push the people that care about them away.

If all you know is the negative

If all you’ve seen and experienced is negative

You’re gonna end up looking for the negative in everyone else that comes along

I wish compassion played a higher role in mankind

I wish people thought about the lasting effects of their actions and behavior towards others

I wish people didn’t react to things they make up in their head

We are in this world

Hopefully to help one another

Not to harm someone who truly loves you

And definitely not to harm the ones who love you just because our past experiences and trauma makes you think that it’s okay to do.

It’s sad.

But there will always be people out there who just don’t know why better

And /or just don’t care to be better than what was done to them.

In Geneva no one can hear you scream

Time is a tick of the mind

Where we once belonged

Has gone far away

Today

And now

Black smoke

Beautiful losers

A shout in the street

Start to fade

All that we made

Is born to die

A brief history of time

Obsession

Old lovers

Under freeway balconies

Nude naked and stripped

Secrets behind smiles

The horse would know, but the horse can’t talk

Rhapsodies in black

Documenting disposable people

Disposers

Exposers

Of

Ghost images

Ghost people

ghost world

Once Held together by water

But now Broken apart by man

To be ignored

to be ignored

By the person you truly love

Is the worst feeling in the world.

shame
artwork by kyoko cole 2017

When I die

When I Die

Lush

LYRICS

If you walked in now

I wouldn’t start I wouldn’t frown

And if you just appeared

I wouldn’t cry or think it weird

‘Cause you are still around

You’re in the air, you’re in the ground

And you can’t go away

I am afraid you’re here to stay

Friends don’t understand

They close the door, they raise their hands

She says she heard your voice

Of course she does, she has no choice

I was hours ahead

When they removed you from your bed

They drank all the while

Until you said goodbye

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

I don’t look up, I don’t look down

I look ahead and make no sound

My love was there,

I only stare

Healty in my dreams

Is what you are, is what is seems

What does it all mean?

You’re only hiding behind a screen

Curse the English day

For what it forces us to say

Banish all the pain

‘Cause when I die, die

I’ll see you again.

Songwriters: Emma Victoria Jane Anderson

When I Die lyrics © BMG Rights Management US, LLC

Low vibe mister

Avoid

Avoid

A void

Is all you

It’s all you do

Anything that takes some work

makes you take off

sets you off

You have something to prove

The way you move

Shows an anger

That has built

Over time

the way you deal

Is by not dealing at all

one question leads you to war

there’s no way to even the score

With a narcissist like you

you can’t forgive

You can’t give love

You don’t have

You build up a false self

while the real you hides somewhere

collecting dust on a shelf

and it sucks being somebody who loves you

Cause you can’t change

If you think you’re perfect

In between the moon and you

Everyone is happy

Happier without me.

I’m an illusion

Of what you want to see

At first you love me

Then I’m someone you hate

Don’t build me up

I’ll only let you down

I’m not someone great

Obviously….

I wish I was

I wish I had

I could wish my life away

Only to die

All alone someday

I see pictures of people

I used to know

They only come

To only go

Living lives

I wish I had

But it’s okay

It just makes me sad

Goodnight

Farewell

No more morning

For me

No mourning ever for you

To all the ones

Who I thought loved

But never knew

Diablo

What a terrible thing

You call love

What a low

You call life

So many times I see

The Nothing behind your eyes

I won’t let myself disappear

From believing all your lies

And I don’t have to be as cold

As you

to keep myself alive

I don’t have to be as bold

As you

To prove I will survive

You can try

You can try

To spin me

in

your web of illusion

Your ties of confusion

You can stay down with your demons

You can stay dark with the night

You can stay hidden within the shadows

But you can’t take away my light

You can try

But you won’t take away my light

I won’t follow you down

Your rabbit hole

Of fables

Your flip switch

Turn of tables

I won’t chase you

I ain’t gonna race you

And I sure as hell won’t embrace you

At the cost

Of me

Getting lost

Just to find you

Running out the door

I won’t take any more

You love to make me wait

You love to use love as bait

To fake your way in

And make me believe you care

But baby

Better beware

it’s a trap

It’s all just a trap

And I ain’t yours no more

Hank

You were great

I’ll miss you

We will all miss you

Forever…