I miss that time
Before all this shit
Went to shit
You gave me a ring
It was simple
Yet pretty
And it meant the world to me
But you pissed me off
And I threw it out the window of my car
ran it over
It had a kink in it after that
And I loved it even more than before
You gave it back to me and I wish I never gave it back to you after that
I miss that time and
I miss that little gold ring
Cause it came from your heart
Which just like you,
I never see anymore
And probably won’t see ever again
Why?
If God exists then why would he/she want us to suffer?
It makes no sense
It’s cruel
And unfair
And I hate this so called God
Or whoever
Whatever
Is in charge
Of taking
Away
The things ( that aren’t just things)
I love
If there is a God…
Why would you do this?
You have completely destroyed my heart.
I can read between the lines
I can read the language you don’t speak in words
The writing on the wall is very clear
If you wanted to
You would be
Here.
Big man
Little man
Where do you stand
Little boy
I wasn’t made
For you
to be your little toy
When you come down
If you ever really do
Blabber and smoke
Treating everything
Like it’s one big joke
Laugh it up
Laugh out loud
And while you’re at it
Act so proud
Who you trying to fool
Yourself?
Or the crowd?
Maybe both
In the sky above
On the ground below
Who you really are begins to show
And it hurts only cause I let you in
I’m pretty sure lying
Is a Cardinal sin
Where does the false you end
And the real you begin?
thirty eight hours
and useless
her lonely mother
remained silent
resting on the shoulder
of her companion
the great sun and the heavens
now seemed artificial.
do we understand the power
of our instruments?
vanity of the vanities
sometimes tried to stand and walk
like us
a coat of magnetic mindlessness
the man with bad intent
playing us like the smallest violin
this feeling of emptiness
Is more alive than me
illusions all around us.
to soften the blow
between the operator
and the subjects
you found my energy
in the broken pulse of time
I pulsate with the angels
and then laugh at our farewell
I am a memory
you see… that
this
is the end.
-Kyoko Cole
2018
a piece of me
a piece of you
died Thursday morning
and i’m lost without
Shutter out
Bright
In
I sin
And then begin
Again
What else is there to do?
I have no clue.
A piece of me
A piece of you
Died Thursday morning
And I’m lost without
Turning corners
I find doubt
Mixed in with finding pieces of really awesome
Most beautiful people I have ever known
The best of people
Life has ever shown
But I fuck
I suck?
I drink my way back to gold
One of the saddest stories ever told
Is the one I hold
Goodnight another day goes by with out my friend
Will we ever meet again?
I really hope we do.
-kyoko cole
No.
Not at all
Never.
Not willing
Not capable
Not true.
Not wanting
Not caring maybe.
But I saw it once
When he maybe cared
Maybe wanted to
Maybe willing
Maybe the demons in his head
Were on vacation
Or tired.
Cause even demons need a break too
I don’t know
All I can say is how I feel
And it’s sad
To see someone you loved so much
Just turn into someone else
And have such hate
And meanness
Doesn’t make me angry
Doesn’t make me want to get revenge
I’m too sad for that
And revenge was never my thing
I let time and truth
Work it’s own magic
But right now
The kind of sadness I feel
Is like when a family member or someone you were super close dies
Except it’s worse
Cause he’s still there
Seeing whatever he wants to see
That isn’t really me
Not seeing me
But letting the real demons
Alter his brain
Take over his soul
Without him even knowing
It’s a sadness I can’t explain
Unless you’ve felt it before
One I never
Want to feel again.
-kyoko cole
I will never understand how some people can be so cold.
To turn off
To love conditionally
To have such black and white thinking and feeling
To be cruel
To make up reasons why to hate
To criticize and put down
Yet be blind to everything that’s good
To completely ignore their own behavior
To make another person feel unwanted
Unimportant
Useless
So many people “love” that way
That’s not love.
That’s just selfishness mixed with a bitterness
You teach others through love
You can kill a man with disregard and neglect
And a mean spirit
Some people’s truth is whatever they were conditioned with from the time they were born
All they know is to pass that down to anyone and everyone they touch.
Yet they don’t see it.
Some people love to blame others or something false as a reason to take out their anger and pain on someone
Some people only know how to push the people that care about them away.
If all you know is the negative
If all you’ve seen and experienced is negative
You’re gonna end up looking for the negative in everyone else that comes along
I wish compassion played a higher role in mankind
I wish people thought about the lasting effects of their actions and behavior towards others
I wish people didn’t react to things they make up in their head
We are in this world
Hopefully to help one another
Not to harm someone who truly loves you
And definitely not to harm the ones who love you just because our past experiences and trauma makes you think that it’s okay to do.
It’s sad.
But there will always be people out there who just don’t know why better
And /or just don’t care to be better than what was done to them.
Time is a tick of the mind
Where we once belonged
Has gone far away
Today
And now
Black smoke
Beautiful losers
A shout in the street
Start to fade
All that we made
Is born to die
A brief history of time
Obsession
Old lovers
Under freeway balconies
Nude naked and stripped
Secrets behind smiles
The horse would know, but the horse can’t talk
Rhapsodies in black
Documenting disposable people
Disposers
Exposers
Of
Ghost images
Ghost people
ghost world
Once Held together by water
But now Broken apart by man
to be ignored
By the person you truly love
Is the worst feeling in the world.
Avoid
Avoid
A void
Is all you
It’s all you do
Anything that takes some work
makes you take off
sets you off
You have something to prove
The way you move
Shows an anger
That has built
Over time
the way you deal
Is by not dealing at all
one question leads you to war
there’s no way to even the score
With a narcissist like you
you can’t forgive
You can’t give love
You don’t have
You build up a false self
while the real you hides somewhere
collecting dust on a shelf
and it sucks being somebody who loves you
Cause you can’t change
If you think you’re perfect
. . . but here I go anyway.
Poetry and fiction not intended for the masses — Sam M. Phillips
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