Home is where I want to be

Home is where I want to be

But home isn’t where I live

Home is with you

And I will never be home again

Vegas blues

I do not miss

All the shit

He put me through

I don’t miss his attack

Or his lack

of self awareness

Or all the unfairness

I don’t miss all his bad

Which drove me mad

And made me sad

But I do miss

His kiss

And I miss the few moments

He made me feel

Unconditionally loved

And on my way out of state

He was the best travel companion

I’ve ever had

How can one man be so stupid

And so blind

Viva Las Vegas!

Ha.

Yeah

Mama needs a new pair of shoes

And a new knife

What a fucking life

Goodbye

Kiss me like the ocean breeze

There’s nothing in my dreams

Just some ugly memories

Love notes & doodles I drew on a wall

I used to make things for the people I loved

Now I rarely do

Nothing inspires me to

These days

I drew silly pictures and

Wrote loving things

On his wall

All the things that were true

Because I wanted to

Only to find it

Painted over

Covered up

Scratched out

Like he did with me

Like he hated to see

Something

I did out of love

Like he hated me

I could never scratch out his name

His notes (he never wrote me)

His time (he rarely gave me)

The gifts (he didn’t make me)

He is not human

Nothing sticks to him

He can take my love

Throw it away

And then begin

Again somewhere else

How can that make me feel good?

To know I was all in

When he was never even close

He’s always been a lifetime away

So far away

It’s cold outside

this desire

bottles full of memories

I struggle with the world

without you love

substances find problems

your fear finds misunderstanding

your fear keeps you away

and there’s nothing I can do

to change that

.

time is an island

deserted and alone

afraid to be forgotten

trying to survive

why must the wind

be so harsh?

the fallen

leaves

dance

on.

abandon

walls.

suicide without being able

to die

you take the path

of habit

devils and wolves

hijacked you

and your love

it really doesn’t matter now…

does it?

impossible to

get through

to you.

you got what

you wanted.

me removed.

i give up

and turn away

And stay

That way

On the path that

No longer leads to you.

  • kc

2018

Chris

Now that you’re gone

I have no one by my side

To help me through

That person was always you

Now i feel the loneliness

Of being truly alone

You were the greatest friend

I have ever known

That this world has ever shown

I’m not alright

I’m not okay

Just take me back

To a better day

You were always there for me

And I’m so grateful for that

And for you

Until we meet again

I love you…

My sweet friend

In Geneva no one can hear you scream

Time is a tick of the mind

Where we once belonged

Has gone far away

Today

And now

Black smoke

Beautiful losers

A shout in the street

Start to fade

All that we made

Is born to die

A brief history of time

Obsession

Old lovers

Under freeway balconies

Nude naked and stripped

Secrets behind smiles

The horse would know, but the horse can’t talk

Rhapsodies in black

Documenting disposable people

Disposers

Exposers

Of

Ghost images

Ghost people

ghost world

Once Held together by water

But now Broken apart by man

We can reach

I can’t

Stand

Being

Without.

You

make me

Feel

something

Whole

I wish

I

Could

Stop

Time

Space

And age

And this

Stage

I’m in

I don’t know where

To even begin

Again

Cause I want

Everything

I can’t have

Right now

Right here

But I fear

Too?

Much

And I fear

Nothing at all

I could watch

It all fall

And be fine in the end

But in the end

I’d be alone

Like really alone

And I don’t

Want that.

Give me a sign

Give me the call

Give me your all

Let me know

That I’m something

You know.

You want.

And not some thing

You don’t know

Balls deep you creep

You can play hard ball

Pool

Baseball

Balls in

Balls deep

But you keep that shit

Away from me

Icky

Sticky

Dicky

Fuck

Yuck

I would have never

Go back

To that

Place

With your face

That lies

Like it’s a sport

ABORT!!!

AND I’M OUT…..

(Mic drop)