skin loves fever

Before I let you go
I loved you
It made me so happy when you loved me back
And wanted to be with me
And I could feel your love
And it broke my heart
To lose you
This way
It breaks my heart right now
To see
How you are living happy
So quickly moving on
Without me
And the part that kills me
Is how you just ignore me
Like I don’t matter
You were so special to me
And all I ever wanted was your Love and understanding
And to just treat me good
And love me
The way I Love you
It’s the hardest
thing
The worst feeling
I’ve ever felt

And so that is it
I guess I thought I was Someone special to you cause you made me feel it and I loved that so much
It made me love you even more
But now to not have it or see it
Shows me I’m not very special to you at all

It hurts and I need to stop thinking of you as someone special
Now
And move on
So this is the last time I will write about
You
And this the last of you
I will hold on to
Goodbye my love
(Wherever you are )

then why should i?

i believe in you

and support so much

and i see the good in us

but i have no room to grow

with the limited amount of space

you allow me to occupy

in your life where you give so many people so much more space

i shrink to my restrictions

you don’t fully give yourself

and it’s making me want to love you

it’s making my love fade and not feel returned or appreciated and nurtured

you don’t have faith

i stop having faith

i wanted to just love you

and jump in

but you hold me back

and keep me down

and there’s no room to grow

with so much of that

and so little of what keeps love alive

allowing it to be as crazy and as passionate and as foolish or smart or whatever it is

without choke hold back

of everything i once felt naturally

you made me think twice about loving you

and just giving you everything so freely

i can’t

i won’t

i want love to

just love

and

be excited

you ruin that

and now i just need to go

where that fire and love and desire and passion

can live

not where it can be put down and

stuck some place behind

all the things that you care more about than me

i will heal and

find that feeling again some day

and this time

everything else

won’t get in the way

or be an excuse to be anything less

than what

gives it

the life and the chance

to really live

like love should

i’m better with people who think a life together is worth taking a chance

than living a life apart just cause of this that and whatever

that is what keeps us apart

not anything else but all the reasons you can’t or won’t give it your all

i am obviously not for you

Today we fall in love
Cause we can
And we want to
And it is good

There’s nothing about you that’s phoney
Or fake
Or fucked up
Selfish
😉
you know who you are
And stand by it
In a sweet way
☆ and that’s nice to see
I trust you cause you are who you say you are
And you are who I see
And you are always nice to yourself and to me
😉

That’s how trust is built
Thank you for reminding me
Of what is beautiful
And healthy

You’re insane
I’m not a liar
You are.
You like to fight
When you know I’m right
And I took to much this time
Cause I  COULDN’T CARE less
Ha dealing with you
Is like dealing with someone who
Couldn’t care less
Who lies just to save his own
Face from himself
Making shit up
I can’t even see straight
You created a problem
So the problem isn’t you
Even though it really is
And if that’s the kind of person you are
Then maybe you should go away
I didn’t lie about anything
You liar
All I’m doing right now is waiting
I’m not waiting on you
Your problem is a lie
That you live inside your head
It’s not real
It’s a name believe friend
You made up to help you deal
Cause you don’t want to see it feel
What’s real
My problem is caring too much

For too long
About someone like you
You don’t play fair
So I can feel myself fade and I don’t care
to work with someone who
Lies but is never there

I don’t know
What it is
Maybe it’s something I need
But you
Make me
Feel something good
🙂

Note to self:
I know how much love i have
I know how much i tried
Let it go before 
I go
Too Away
From myself
I love me
And anyone who makes me feel bad
Or less than
Or not a part of
Doesn’t really have my best interest on mind
Let it out
All the pain and hurt
Get it out
Bleed out out
And then get the Fuck away
Let go
what is not for me
And remember why
I should never look back

Tongues of flame
Jump cuts
What it is
Before it hits the floor
Body politics
Flesh and stone
Nine lives
Past/imperfect
Magic show
Illumination
Behind the eyes
On the wall
starlight
transactions
Will/power
Border comedy
The big nothing
Monument to now
Echoes
Lines, grid, stains, words
Proof
Fucked up + photocopied
Forty are better than one
Suspended instants
In alphabetical order
Follow me
In and out of place
Lost bodies
Inside out
breaking and entering
Painted light
For the blind man in the dark room looking for the black cat that isn’t there…
Heaven

Remote viewing
Radio memory
Sweet dreams and nightmares
At home/not at home
Live in your head
Private time in a public place
Avalanche
In numbers
Memory under construction
The end of the line
Connected body?
the bodies speak has been known for a long time
Making being here enough
The art of the accident
The lucid evidence
Custom built
Lost futures
Haunted
Ghost stories
Mirror me
Facing the finish
Under the sun
Primal spirit
Timeless eye
Cries and whispers
Vanished paths
Things as they are
This is not it
Touchable sound
on the edge
Beyond desire
Thin skin
steps off the beaten path
Who knows tomorrow
This is tomorrow today
The magic of things
Voice over
Sad songs
Naked city
mad love
Time of change
Eating the universe
space odysseys
Seen, written
The truth in rented rooms
Some detached houses
Overlay
Mirror images
Multiple exposure
The spirit in any condition does not burn
Finish fetish
Dream city
And so on
Out of the red
Record again