4:14 am Sunday morning

It’s raining and I’m sitting in my car outside my house.

I am alone

And I feel nothing but cold

When you die

You die alone

And I will not go to your funeral

No one will

I will not visit your grave

I will not cry

For I have no tears

Left

For what

I have already begun to forget

I have no fears

I have already lost everything before

You can’t take away anymore

Only years

Which I will forget as well

I will disappear

Like I never was here

And you will be left with

only a shadow

The memories

A reminder

Of my face

You can never replace

You can never erase

But never have back the same again

For I am not the same

I feel nothing but cold

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Apathy

A night

A fuck

A sore

A bore

It’s hard to ignore

The lack of care

In your stare

Unaffected

Disconnected

It’s the way

People in this town

Seem to be

Now

And this apathy

Is making me

Want to get the fuck out

Of this

And jump into

Something new.

i'm lost and weird without you here. garden of sorrow.

At the end of the stars there is love

by myself
crushed and flooded
by the fall of you

the moonlight
would laugh at me
if he could

I found sanity in the bottle
the wind catches a thought
with my heart in limbo

I must be lost
in a mess
of sadness

just like me
it was hiding
the song held out its hand

I still wonder why
you suffered so
and felt the weight
of my troubled soul

so many illusions break through
an honest man
without branches
is always
the first to go

the best we’ve had
I would run to you in a moment
my fantasies
make me hear your voice

at the center of the light
in darkness
i see you

at the end of the stars
there is love.

-kyoko cole
2018

i'm lost and weird without you here. garden of sorrow.

What I do

Shutter out

Bright

In

I sin

And then begin

Again

What else is there to do?

I have no clue.

A piece of me

A piece of you

Died Thursday morning

And I’m lost without

Turning corners

I find doubt

Mixed in with finding pieces of really awesome

Most beautiful people I have ever known

The best of people

Life has ever shown

But I fuck

I suck?

I drink my way back to gold

One of the saddest stories ever told

Is the one I hold

Goodnight another day goes by with out my friend

Will we ever meet again?

I really hope we do.

-kyoko cole

Chris

Now that you’re gone

I have no one by my side

To help me through

That person was always you

Now i feel the loneliness

Of being truly alone

You were the greatest friend

I have ever known

That this world has ever shown

I’m not alright

I’m not okay

Just take me back

To a better day

You were always there for me

And I’m so grateful for that

And for you

Until we meet again

I love you…

My sweet friend

artwork by kyoko cole

My one wish

If I ever had a connection with anyone

Right now is the time to feel me

I can’t speak the words

I can’t move

I can’t go to you

I need you to feel me

And do something

Or not

Maybe that’s the way it needs to be

But if that’s the case

Then nothing means anything

And everything means nothing

And I’ll go to sleep alone

Just like I’ll die alone

And it all was a waste of time

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When I die

When I Die

Lush

LYRICS

If you walked in now

I wouldn’t start I wouldn’t frown

And if you just appeared

I wouldn’t cry or think it weird

‘Cause you are still around

You’re in the air, you’re in the ground

And you can’t go away

I am afraid you’re here to stay

Friends don’t understand

They close the door, they raise their hands

She says she heard your voice

Of course she does, she has no choice

I was hours ahead

When they removed you from your bed

They drank all the while

Until you said goodbye

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

I don’t look up, I don’t look down

I look ahead and make no sound

My love was there,

I only stare

Healty in my dreams

Is what you are, is what is seems

What does it all mean?

You’re only hiding behind a screen

Curse the English day

For what it forces us to say

Banish all the pain

‘Cause when I die, die

I’ll see you again.

Songwriters: Emma Victoria Jane Anderson

When I Die lyrics © BMG Rights Management US, LLC

Hank

You were great

I’ll miss you

We will all miss you

Forever…

Someday never comes 

Busted pieces

Faulty parts

Dead eyes

Cold hearts

There’s no use in trying

To save what’s sunk

There’s no use in holding

On to what’s junk

The city of stars

Is under a starless sky

The city of sunshine

Is where light comes to die

It’s a fraud

It’s a fake

It’s the kind of city that will make

And break

You into the worst

But first

It will take

You

And

It will blind you

With the illusion

And then fill you up with confusion

Until you

are no longer you anymore

Love means nothing Here

It’s just a word people throw around and use

and abuse.

There’s no use in trying

There is no use in trying

-Kyoko Cole 2017

You gotta kill yourself before you kill everybody else

I want you to LOVE me as my broken self

Just like you want others to do for you

But it ain’t easy

And it ain’t gonna ever happen

With someone who just gives up  

I need strength when I ain’t strong

I am strength when others are weak

But right now 

I seek

To change

To find

Gotta break the bond

And not my heart

I wish there was some way to go back to the start

But I know

Better

And you wanted me to go

Amateurs (don’t take things or this so seriously)

Thirteen ways

To kill your lover 

A hundred and one ways to die 

It pays 

To be 

Cemented in your ways

Or does is pay to be 

Wild in the streets

Like a wild card 

Jump up jump around 
New York girls

Are too hip

As they hop

To the top 

of the Empire state building 

Which I don’t care to ever climb 

A Hot house
As Cold 

As your unbearable heart

Finish what you start, you say

As everything slowly starts to shift 

Deterioration, they said

Right before it was dead 

It was everything that ever was

That is not a thing any more 

That couple over there 

Kindly lent their owner

To the dogs 

Frequencies are 
Less frequently

Felt in the air 

The less we care

The more we 

Dread

The dead

That’s a coming

Round the bend 

So buckle up partner 

It’s coming to the end 

The perfect partner

Of An imperfect pair 

Doesn’t dare 

Taunt

The electronic wizard 

Or 

The human lizard

But will haunt 

The Spirit hunter

And the Catholic priest 

Who will soon sit down  

For the mighty feast 

And break some bread 

And both get fed  

The last supper 

Is a coming soon 

Blasted allegories
Blast past noon 

You are Not there

In the making

the making that never was 

Was never there within you

  Take me to the river 

Drown me in the water

Let it cover me up 

And Let my body sink low 

The more you say

The less you know 

Misleading 

Misreadings

Draw on you now

Like the raise of an arm 

And the hand that signals the alarm 

To wake up 

Wake up 

WAKE THE FUCK UP

Before it’s too late  

wait it already is …

-kyoko cole 2017

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