change

In Geneva no one can hear you scream

b-side junkieLeave a comment

Time is a tick of the mind

Where we once belonged

Has gone far away

Today

And now

Black smoke

Beautiful losers

A shout in the street

Start to fade

All that we made

Is born to die

A brief history of time

Obsession

Old lovers

Under freeway balconies

Nude naked and stripped

Secrets behind smiles

The horse would know, but the horse can’t talk

Rhapsodies in black

Documenting disposable people

Disposers

Exposers

Of

Ghost images

Ghost people

ghost world

Once Held together by water

But now Broken apart by man

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Read between the fine print

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Is it just a minor glitch?

Or Did they flip the major switch?

Maybe we were powered down

Like little robots held spellbound

Held captive under their cloak

Your truth is just their joke

That most of you folks

believe

But mark my words

they got something up their sleeve

I don’t know what’s coming

But I know it can’t be good

They got us thinkin

Left is right

So we got reasons to pick a fight

We ain’t thinking like we should

I don’t know what’s coming.

But I know it won’t be good

Time has come today

b-side junkieLeave a comment

I relized something today

I can want you in my life

And I would have you

Make space and time for you

And it doesn’t matter to you

If I’m a part of your life

You could take me or leave me

One way or the other

It’s not that important to you

And yeah it hurts

But then I think

That you are just who you are

And maybe there’s never been anything or anyone important enough to you for you to make the effort to try

And I mean really try to give yourself fully to one thing. One person. To love from a place without the fear of what may happen or the fear of what will happen sometimes. To give full allowance to the fact that maybe you might get hurt. But maybe not. And what If not. What if after the difficult times and momentary struggles ( which is all we focus on when we’re struggling instead of looking at all the good stuff)… What if it was really amazing? Amazing cause you took the time and care and love and really got to know the other person and learn to accept each other and love each other and deal with each other on a whole new level.

Without fear

Without judgements or inaccurate beliefs about the other person who we judge because we don’t fully understand them

Maybe there’s never been anything worth it to you to want to keep around.

But what if people really loved and cared enough about each other to just try when it’s not easy. To love when the person is hard to love yet they need it the most. Showing trust and giving trust and being completely honest and open. Not everyone is the same so why do we expect everyone to know and feel what you feel and judge

Maybe giving ourselces to something fully is the answer. Not half assed. Not always having one foot out the door. Ready to give up ready to leave. What if the answer is commiting ourselves to someone or something fully…knowing it’s not always gonna be fun or easy and being okay, ready and willing for that.

Maybe we would find the most amazing thing you’ve ever known

Cause we took the time and effort dedication in someone or something to actually know

You can tell me you’re not afraid of anything

But clearly we all are

Give someone that loves you the chance to be who they really are

Teach them to grow through love

Tell them they matter and that you love them.

Make them feel loved and safe and show them that you are someone they can trust by being trustworthy.

That’s how we change the world

Give love when someone needs it

And accept the love that person gives

Show love and others will show love back.

I know you are you

And I am me

But sometimes i wish you did feel the way I feel for you

For me

But we can’t always have someone wants to give all that you’re willing to give

Not everyone is going to love us back

That’s okay.

I’m happy to know that someday I’ll have someone who wants to put up with me too

And that’s something that makes me love even more. 😉

Break something…

b-side junkieLeave a comment

i’ve been stuck

in a rut

for too long

but i let myself

get there

and now i’m letting myself get

the fuck out out out

i wanna shout shoutSHOUT!!!!

damn all you manipulators

damn all you messengers of doubt

all your projection

i need protection

from you

your soul suck

and mind fuck

there’s noluv… in what you do

and i got no time left to waste on you.

Big head

Beso

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Every kiss

That I miss

He does not

Miss at all

He built his wall

Between us

He does not call

He does not care

To have me there

With him

He doesn’t love me

Anymore

He shut the door

On me

If he could only see

Things from inside of my heart

But what’s the point?

He lied

He cheated

He treated me

Like shit

Worse than shit

Like nothing

Everyone else saw it

I held on to the good

That was just a lie

That’s why

I don’t even try

He’s a lost cause

It’s pointless now

To hold on to something

Or someone

Who cared so little

When I cared so much.

Not my Captain

b-side junkieLeave a comment

under cover tears
and under cover fears
steers

the ship
without help

from me or you

under a moonless darkness
of questions

My heart weeps

while
your other lover sleeps
She rests without worry
without wonder

Without thought
As she takes
your heart and soul for a walk
in the streets of longing i seek
the things you shall never speak
not to me

ever
and never
when
i needed you to

an enigma is not that great
When it’s an empty full of hate
it has no soul
and has no control

but i’m not the one
who’s got you trapped
down in a hole
and calls it child support
but yet I am the one
who you abort
cause you’re old
cause you’re cold

the last sentence you saw
makes people shiver
the last sentence you saw
is running away
to a better day
a more passionate evening
stole all the goods

i have a trained assassin stay overnight
just in case
i’m caught up in a fight
i didn’t start
but i WILL end
when i send in
my ninja friend
to break
some knees
please
let the HEARTBREAKING lies
roll over us
like the warm summer breeze.
abstraction is often FIVE floorS above you
while
subtraction is a hundred floors below
that is something
you see in others
but in yourself
will never know

I don’t even try

b-side junkie1 Comment

Morning sun slips in

Through the blacks of My eyes

A second away from night

A moment away from sight

And many moons and days away from you

Feels like years now since we were we

I know you’ve moved on to worse things that make you feel better

At least for now

And I just move around in beds and in heads of others

To distract

I might seem okay to everyone else but it’s all just an act

A sad little act that maybe I’ll someday actually be

But the real me

Is a sad sight to see

inside I am empty

lonely

And lost

without you.

And there’s nothing I can do

Cause there’s no reason to

You gave me nothing

A million times left with no reply

Now nothing is all I got left

To give

So I don’t even try

In rooms alone it still makes me cry

I know the reason why

so i don’t even try

-kyoko cole 2018

To be ignored

b-side junkie2 Comments

to be ignored

By the person you truly love

Is the worst feeling in the world.

shame
artwork by kyoko cole 2017

When I die

b-side junkieLeave a comment

When I Die

Lush

LYRICS

If you walked in now

I wouldn’t start I wouldn’t frown

And if you just appeared

I wouldn’t cry or think it weird

‘Cause you are still around

You’re in the air, you’re in the ground

And you can’t go away

I am afraid you’re here to stay

Friends don’t understand

They close the door, they raise their hands

She says she heard your voice

Of course she does, she has no choice

I was hours ahead

When they removed you from your bed

They drank all the while

Until you said goodbye

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

I don’t look up, I don’t look down

I look ahead and make no sound

My love was there,

I only stare

Healty in my dreams

Is what you are, is what is seems

What does it all mean?

You’re only hiding behind a screen

Curse the English day

For what it forces us to say

Banish all the pain

‘Cause when I die, die

I’ll see you again.

Songwriters: Emma Victoria Jane Anderson

When I Die lyrics © BMG Rights Management US, LLC

You brought truth in a dream

b-side junkieLeave a comment

You told me the truth

In a dream last night

You showed me what I already had known was true

But to see you and her…

Right here

Right there

Made me aware

That I was never the one you really loved

You love her still and always will

And in my dream I felt my heart really break

I felt the child inside me ache

All I could do was cry

As I watched something I loved so much

Die

And then I awoke

With the tears

But no more fears

Cause I knew it was you

Cause I knew it was true

And because I knew this time it really was our last goodbye.

Diablo

b-side junkieLeave a comment

What a terrible thing

You call love

What a low

You call life

So many times I see

The Nothing behind your eyes

I won’t let myself disappear

From believing all your lies

And I don’t have to be as cold

As you

to keep myself alive

I don’t have to be as bold

As you

To prove I will survive

You can try

You can try

To spin me

in

your web of illusion

Your ties of confusion

You can stay down with your demons

You can stay dark with the night

You can stay hidden within the shadows

But you can’t take away my light

You can try

But you won’t take away my light

I won’t follow you down

Your rabbit hole

Of fables

Your flip switch

Turn of tables

I won’t chase you

I ain’t gonna race you

And I sure as hell won’t embrace you

At the cost

Of me

Getting lost

Just to find you

Running out the door

I won’t take any more

You love to make me wait

You love to use love as bait

To fake your way in

And make me believe you care

But baby

Better beware

it’s a trap

It’s all just a trap

And I ain’t yours no more