You know what you need
Listen to yourself
And feed
The starving parts of you
Before it’s too late
You know what you need
Listen to yourself
And feed
The starving parts of you
Before it’s too late
into the trees
lovers
you look empty
the love
might just change like lies
the changes catch
unborn truth
the voices speak just like you
the trace of silence
was real
with this feeling
from the last moment
without knowing
all you need
the lonely
-after hour anxiety
some little bugs eat
you ask one question
and hide before it can get to you
child distract him
absolutely invisible
there were cries
waiting for the night
the scent collects
but here this idea comes
and you need sleep and affection
so here it gets lost
the only fatality
made forgetting more melancholy
not sudden and nothing happened
this sinking evil illusion
life disappears
the voice here
never existed
this false face
tears softly and challenges
the real
all eyes had felt
your denial
this useless existence
away with the night
you who come from the dark-
unusual
into this light-
strange
your love
was enough
above the sky
you can see
that this is the end
whispering time
hear the word
hear our language
a sudden
taste of
mystic too
many must look
not dwell
under the fall
without the curtain
glow like you
purple would have understood
the holding hand
the mouth both interested and obsessed
for you
the black was still light
this face and soul the same
everything around you
faded and
remained
slippery
love
shake you out
out
out
this was absolutely different
your heart vibrations smile
flames from the body
will not be tamed
they are beautiful
lovely but cursed
as you
find them new meaning
I’ll remind you
of my kisses
and continue life mute
-kyoko cole
Brush it
Under
The rug
That is your cover
You don’t have to be a lover
But a hater?
Be more original
Or don’t be at all
Die by the morning
The minute I enter
A different zip code
I have already begun
Mourning you.
I will not attend your funeral
Wearing robes of black
Draped down to the ground
And you even further below
I will not shed a tear
In public
I will not visit your grave
Jealous eyes
Are watching
Me
Forgetting you
They won’t be saved
The ground we walk on
Is shifting
Ever so slightly
The things you’ve done
Aren’t taken so lightly
It’s time to start a new
Goodbye
Rest well
For the long sleep
And the long farewell
This finale is long overdo
I know that whatever comes after this
will be alright
When I fell in love with you
I had an open mind and an open heart
My smile was for you because you did things that made me happy.
You treated me nice and kind and we had fun
Over time you let insecurities take over
And became angry and mean.
You made me work so hard for your love you love gave me freely.
You took me for three kind of woman I was not.
I ended up paying for the sins of the women before me and I started to hate myself cause I didn’t know what I was doing wrong when I wasn’t doing anything wrong or bad to you.
I kept trying and changing and improving myself to be more understanding and considerate of your feelings only to have you be less understanding and considerate if mine.
What’s even worse is any time we would fight you would just ignore me like I never mattered. Yet the reason we would fight was because you didn’t want to hear my feelings if you didn’t understand them you would automatically just tune me out or call me stupid cause you didn’t want to deal with anything that I felt that ioi didn’t feel. You only wanted me to deal with your feelings when you felt them. Plus most of the time you’d be drinking something. Even if you didn’t drink for a few days – the long term use of alcohol made you become something else and that someone was very mean and abusive and paranoid.
I had beautiful feelings for you until you treated me the way you would treat someone who fucked you over which I never did. You made me become ( in your head) just the same as someone from your past until I finally lost it.
You wanted me to be the Whore you could blame for all your problems. You would rather see a lie that feels confortable and familiar than to see me for who i really was to you. Someone who loved you and cared enough to not want to hurt you.
It was never good enough. Out of all the things I did that were right and loving and good. You would hold onto this one tiny thing I said way back in the beginning that you didn’t like and use that as your reason to treat me the way you did in the end – completely awful.
I would cry myself too sleep so many nights only to wake up to the same thing and not want to leave my bed
I didn’t understand how i could love you so Unconditionally while you had a long list of conditions I had to obey before you even site m me even an ounce of affection. And even if I did everything you said you wanted it didn’t seem to marry you would still get drunk get angry and find some reason to point fingers and leave me again.
That’s what love is to you
That’s not love to me
If I wanted to be with someone else I would have been
I wouldn’t lie and cheat
Why would I have put so much effort until our relationship ( getting barely anything in return) if I didn’t love you.
Why would I constantly go to you and come a running every time you’d call if I just wanted to be with someone else?
That’s dumb that you even use that as a reason to be angry when I would always go home with you
You pushed me away.
You did this.
Not me.
I did everything I could to show you
Love
You did everything you could to push me away
And this last time
You hurt me worse than I ever thought imaginable.
For months after I was the depressed I’ve ever been and you didnt try even just to see if I was okay. I wasn’t.
I started to believe that everyone was like you
I was hopeless trying not to be hopeless
For months you just ignored me and I started to feel like I never existed or mattered to you.
It’s Funny how life is sometimes.
On my lowest night
I met someone
And didn’t think much of it at the time
But after the first night we hung out together I realized that is how it should feel. This is how I should be treated. This is how I want to treat people that are kind and caring and thoughtful to me.
It wasn’t me who did anything wrong with you yeag sure I made some minor mistakes but so did you (and many many major ones) and i didn’t just give up on you and stop loving you. I didn’t just start treating you like someone who didn’t matter the minute I didn’t like something. I communicated and I was honest.
I loved you
But you didn’t love me.
And now that I’m shown respect and love and care without all the unnecessary games abs run arounds and half truths but am still so many lies – i see it even more.
If you wanted me you would have had me. You would have treated me better like people do when they want to keep someone in their life.
You wouldn’t have let me go
But I’m kinda glad you did now
Cause now I know
What love really is.
Late night meeting
He comes
A groan withdraws
Within the pardon
I need a distraction
I need his diversion
Another night aborts around the twelve turnaround
Moving through the halo of numbers
Choking the hands of time
This outline destines the viable trigger
Will he shake the smallest moon?
Or shake a farewell
And make distances of my ugly past?
The trade views the spectrum
Before a crime emerges the music
I am almost back from the dead
I am letting you go
I am no longer holding on to what is no longer there
I’m not waiting for your care
Or your love
I’m not waiting for a sign
Or a phone call
Or a reply
That will never come
I’m not fooling myself by seeing your little effort give as a loaf of bread
When in reality
All you gave were crumbs
And that is why I would keep trying
Over crumbs I foolishly thought was love
But it wasn’t love
And you never really cared
And you don’t really care now
Cause if you did
I would feel it
I’ve been the one to reach out
To show interest
To take time
And now I’m done.
I’m not angry
I’m not even that sad
I’m just aware that
Holding on to you
Is a waste of time
If you didn’t appreciate me then
You never will
I can’t make you see
What you don’t
Or don’t want to see
I can’t make you feel what you do not feel
I accept you are the way you are
And it’s not what I want
And what I was holding onto is just an illusion I created in my head
And I won’t hold on to shadow
I no longer hold on to you
goodbye
Forever
I let you go
And I am okay
A night
A fuck
A sore
A bore
It’s hard to ignore
The lack of care
In your stare
Unaffected
Disconnected
It’s the way
People in this town
Seem to be
Now
And this apathy
Is making me
Want to get the fuck out
Of this
And jump into
Something new.
Head -on
Tail spin
Lose yourself
Then you begin
Again
And again
It seems like I’m always starting over
It seems like I’m always going backwards
In the race around the track
I get myself back
Or do I?
Head -on
Tail spin
Lose yourself
Then you begin
Again
And again
It seems like I’m always starting over
It seems like I’m always going backwards
In the race around the track
I get myself back
Or do I?
Maybe I’m just a little more tired
Tired of trying
Again and Again
-kyoko cole
2018
Time is a tick of the mind
Where we once belonged
Has gone far away
Today
And now
Black smoke
Beautiful losers
A shout in the street
Start to fade
All that we made
Is born to die
A brief history of time
Obsession
Old lovers
Under freeway balconies
Nude naked and stripped
Secrets behind smiles
The horse would know, but the horse can’t talk
Rhapsodies in black
Documenting disposable people
Disposers
Exposers
Of
Ghost images
Ghost people
ghost world
Once Held together by water
But now Broken apart by man
Is it just a minor glitch?
Or Did they flip the major switch?
Maybe we were powered down
Like little robots held spellbound
Held captive under their cloak
Your truth is just their joke
That most of you folks
believe
But mark my words
they got something up their sleeve
I don’t know what’s coming
But I know it can’t be good
They got us thinkin
Left is right
So we got reasons to pick a fight
We ain’t thinking like we should
I don’t know what’s coming.
But I know it won’t be good