Sunshine for a spotless mind

I wish I could forget

Eject you from my brain

And heart

Erase my memory of you

Until you become somebody new

Or better yet you won’t become anything at all

It’s not fair that you can forget me

And I cannot ever forget you

Once upon a time… A long long time ago…

4 a.m. blues

lightning bolt eyes
star kissed smile
i haven’t been fooled
by that face in awhile

words dipped sweet
kissed sugar lips
I drown in a rush
of slippery slips

you comfort me
with a whisper of sweet nothings
you relax me to sleep before the kill
and make me feel it’s such a thrill
your touch
is the clutch
that tangles me
and strangles me
softly
hard
and hardly soft
I open my eyes
to realize
a moment
too late
then forever gone
and so am I.

murdered by love
or assisted suicide
either way
a perfect way to die.




No reply

You stand there

Like a lost child

Like someone so out of place

Uncomfortable

unwanted

Uneven

You begin to see that YOU ARE THE JOKE

and it makes your lips tremble

As the lump in your throat

Begins to choke

The tears out

Of your eyes

I know it’s love

From his bed

I stare at him

His eyes closed and his face beautiful

It’s all so new

But I know that this is love

I won’t say the words to him yet

I won’t even say the words out loud

To myself

Because I’m enjoying the feel

Of this feeling I almost forgot was possible

But I know

This is love

Because of the way

He looks at me

The way he makes me feel

The way

I am and the way I want to be

It’s easy to love him

It’s easy to give him love

And I want to give him more

he appreciates it

He gives love back

He doesn’t make me feel bad or insecure

Like so many others do and have before

He makes me feel alive

I am born again

And all the hurt and pain of the past

Disappears when we touch

I know it’s love

Because I give him all I have

Without compromising myself

And I want to give him everything…

he gives

And expects nothing in return

He is kind and gentle

understanding and sweet

He makes me feel loved

And taken care of

Because he wants to

Oh the funny fuzzy fizzy feel

Excites every fiber of my being

In between kisses

And miles

And in between the sheets

He brings warmth

And laughter

And many smiles

I know it’s love

Even though it’s too new to say out loud

It’s love

Because he is

And I am

And we are

both

Together

Under the moonlight

In the sunshine

In the middle of all the crazy

Confusing World we live in

We are magic

like children are magic

Full of love and shining light

All over this very dark and lonely place

more alcohol please

weeded my garden
inside and out
organized my closet
got rid of half my clothes
i never wore
mopped all the hardwood floors
made some art
made some crafts
made a mess just to clean it up again
made my bed
and now….
i don’t know
people are weird
it’s not just the coronavirus that’s making this way
it’s our times
people are very selfish
and disconnected
we didn’t need this pandemic to social distance…
we do it regardless
we just don’t see it
cause we’re out and about
and being very social
being social doesn’t equal intimacy
just like sex doesn’t
it makes me a little sad
but it is what it is
and i’m happy to have dodge a bullet again
i’m not one to settle
don’t think i’ll start now

What are you?

make up your face
and your place
somewhere new and go

Fake up your grace
and fake up your case
and grow up
your old ego 
Slow

But it’s all for show

it’s the only way you can go
it’s the only way you know
it’s the only way you know

this place is full of spies
filled with people full of lies
too many
pretend
to be
your friend
just to sell
you out
while they
cash in
in the end
You just can’t win

Jerk Stain 

Wish I could erase

The trace

Of you 

And your stupid face 

I wish I could undo 

And replace

The space 

With someone new 

And  lovely. 

 Someone nothing like you 

If you could see yourself 

The way others do 

You would hate you too

My weak-end blues

Goes a little something like this :

Gonna wake up –

Just enough

To drink myself back to sleep

The bottle is my one true friend

I can’t keep

It together

I don’t know where to start

I got the blues

With a weak-end

And a broken heart

I got the blues

And it’s-a tearin’ me apart

-kyoko

Killing trees

Paper plates

And landscapes

Rain drops too

And morning dew

All of the things

that remind me of you

Won’t leave me alone

Won’t go away

But I can’t keep you

If you don’t want to stay

the dead and I

Won’t go our separate ways

But you do

it’s easy too

Nothing ever sticks to you

You just move along

Without a care

One day here

Next day there

Somewhere

(nowhere?)

Someplace else

With someone else

You’ll never know

How it feels

to watch you go

You’ll never know

How it feels

To feel this low

Hoping this time

will be

The last time

there’s no one who got away

Limited distractions

A force to reflect

All the things we normally forget

Looking back

I don’t look with the same heart or with the same head

mainly because

my love for you is dead

At the hands of you

At the hands of you

So you didn’t get away

No sir

Now With a better view

A clear realistic look at you

I wouldn’t want you to stay

I wouldn’t even consider it

Besides You never did much for me anyway.

It wasn’t me

It was you

That tried to make me pay

For your distorted view

How much better it would have been

If you cared and dared to really begin

If you didn’t allow all your past negative in

But you did

And it was there

You let your past negative win

Instead of us

You weren’t even aware

That it was you

Who

Took us down

Who would want that?

Not me

why would I ever

want someone like you around?

I don’t

Want you

At all

Anymore

I always knew

I was too good for you.

Now you will know it too

I don’t like oneway streets

Closed ears

Closed eyes

Closed heart

What a perfect start

To a new year

This isn’t my fault

I didn’t start this mess

But I’m the one who feels the stress

And disrespect

From you

If I only knew

But I did

I just didn’t listen to myself

When I should have

But

I listened to you

When I knew

This would happen again

And I’m not happy

You made me happy before

And now you just do everything that works against me

And I’m feeling pretty low

I can’t embrace

Your face

When it’s two

Instead of one

So there’s a reason I act the way I do

If you only knew

How it feels

You wouldn’t do half the things you do

But you do because you don’t

To make someone happy

You listen

You love

You care

To do things for someone

Or you don’t

And things fall apart

I’m falling apart

And I don’t like it

But I can’t get through to you

And I never will