skin loves fever

random thoughts
took a train
i don’t feel very well today
pages ripped out
Hi Hello Hi
Do I know you?
It changes a lot.
you don’t know, do you?
You are lost and gone forever
Take care then
I have lots of drinks
Two Blue Ruins
Come On.
I mean, it’s just blank
a night picnic
Ouch! Fuck it.
what if it breaks?
i don’t… know any.
i’m so tired
what are you doing here?
i have to go to sleep now
quiet
get it off your head
she looks at me like she doesn’t even know who i am
why?
give it a rest
make a clean break
excuse me?
i apologize
was not happy and wanted to move on
she’s like that
why? why? why?
we want to empty your home
we want to empty your life
wake up
work backwards from there
nothing you’ll miss
i don’t understand
I don’t know if i like this
Just take it easy.
This is the last time i saw you
our situation is a little weird
do you have any idea?
you’re not ready.
it’s going it’s going
all the pain confusion
Poor guy
beyond good and evil
you don’t tell me things
i tell your everything
what do you write in there?
i don’t know
do you love me?
let him go
to let people begin again
it’s beautiful
adults are this mess of sadness
make it all go away
nothing makes any sense.
nothing makes any sense.
nothing makes any sense

August comes from the Latin word augustus, meaning “consecrated” or “venerable,” which in turn is related to the Latin augur, meaning “consecrated by augury or “auspicious.” In 8 B.C. the Roman Senate honored Augustus Caesar, the first Roman emperor, by changing the name of their month “Sextilis” to “Augustus.”

The air is hot

And you can’t even breathe

Without tears (of sweat)

Pouring down your face

Now has come the time

To disappear without a trace

Will anything

Or anyone

Be missed

?

I don’t know

Maybe after

Right now we think this is hell

But where we go

And end up

Might be much

Much worse

So something so crazy

Just to deal

Just to permanently seal

And make whatever it is real

So I won’t ever fall into the trap

Of falling in love

With you again

But who am I kidding

I love life

But dying seems like a much better option

If who I love

Has the capacity

To be so cruel.

Funny thing is

I’m hurt

But I’m not sad

You get used to it

Nobody should get use to that

I’m sorry for the past but you’re doing it now

And you know better

And you do it with intent

But all I have is love for you

Even if I never see you again

yellow walls
purple bed
I love to get lost
somewhere in your head

playin’ guitar
one red
one bluish-green
and you’re the best thing
that I’ve ever seen

make me happy
oh you already do
I love the nights
I get to spend with you.

I miss the days when you wanted to go with me anywhere and everywhere.

It hurts that you don’t care anymore

Not like you did before

You make me feel like I’m nothing worth your time

And that’s what really hurts.

I guess everyone else is worth your time

And I’m just someone you can forget.

All the things I regret

I can’t make you feel something you don’t

And I won’t

Be chasing

Your ghost.

It kills my heart

And spirit

And I’ve already lost some of that

From loving someone who will never love me back

You just remind me of everything I lack

People caring about good people only leads to good things

People not caring or giving a fuck about others has made this world what it is today

Fucked up and stupid

Entitled fucks who are too cool to be decent loving people to one another because it takes effort to be a good person and it’s a scary thing to allow oneself to be vulnerable and to change.

Treating people like they don’t matter

Doesn’t help anyone

Doesn’t make this world a better place.

Doesn’t bring living into life

Be heartless

And “above it”

And see where that gets you

All you’re doing is passing down the bad shit

That made people get this way to begin with.

It is all about love

Beyond this life and this place and this body and this universe.

Be the change

And come from a place where you can actually get through to others

With kindness

Not by acting like you’re better than everyone and know everything there is to know

You’re not willing to learn the one thing youve avoided your whole life

Yeah it’s uncomfortable

But it’s the uncomfortable things that make us grow

And maybe that’s exactly what you need -especially because you think you don’t

I wanted to feel loved

I wanted to matter enough to someone

I wanted to give love and trust that someone would give it back in times that were rough

But it’s hard for people to be kind

When they don’t like something

Or when something or someone makes them feel something they don’t want to feel.

People fail each other all the time

It just hurts me in a different way because I don’t give my true self to just anyone

And when I do

I’m trusting that they won’t reject or mistreat that part of me – that’s like a child

I’m grateful for the things I’ve been given

I just wanted you to understand me and be kind.

I didn’t want to feel like this again

Abandoned stupid and misunderstood

If you listen you will know what is needed

And if you don’t know

Then maybe you didn’t really want to listen

My feelings are valid

My efforts were true

Love is not shutting someone down or out when they are being difficult or too much

Love is feeling the other person. going inside their head and body and feeling through their heart and seeing things through their eyes and helping them feel safe.

Empathy

Too much to ask of one another

I guess so

I’m sorry

The things I tried to tell you

You did not care or want to know.

Everything led me to where i am now

Not a place I would want anyone else to be

Do you feel me?

Do you feel me?

Do you feel me now?

Will you only feel me

When I have gone?

Or maybe you’ll never feel me at all.

…

I’m sorry