A happy poem for you

You are my love

You piss in my garden

And laugh about it

After it’s been done

You will always be the one

For me

You make me haaapppppyyyyyy.

On nights like this

I like to kiss

The sweetness of your smile

Oh please won’t you stay

With my awhile.

You can piss on my strawberries all you want 😉

Love notes & doodles I drew on a wall

I used to make things for the people I loved

Now I rarely do

Nothing inspires me to

These days

I drew silly pictures and

Wrote loving things

On his wall

All the things that were true

Because I wanted to

Only to find it

Painted over

Covered up

Scratched out

Like he did with me

Like he hated to see

Something

I did out of love

Like he hated me

I could never scratch out his name

His notes (he never wrote me)

His time (he rarely gave me)

The gifts (he didn’t make me)

He is not human

Nothing sticks to him

He can take my love

Throw it away

And then begin

Again somewhere else

How can that make me feel good?

To know I was all in

When he was never even close

He’s always been a lifetime away

So far away

Apathy

A night

A fuck

A sore

A bore

It’s hard to ignore

The lack of care

In your stare

Unaffected

Disconnected

It’s the way

People in this town

Seem to be

Now

And this apathy

Is making me

Want to get the fuck out

Of this

And jump into

Something new.

It’s cold outside

this desire

bottles full of memories

I struggle with the world

without you love

substances find problems

your fear finds misunderstanding

your fear keeps you away

and there’s nothing I can do

to change that

time is an island

deserted and alone

afraid to be forgotten

trying to survive

why must the wind

be so harsh?

the fallen

leaves

dance

on.

abandon

walls.

suicide without being able

to die

you take the path

of habit

devils and wolves

hijacked you

and your love

it really doesn’t matter now…

does it?

impossible to

get through

to you.

you got what

you wanted.

me removed.

i give up

and turn away

And stay

That way

On the path that

No longer leads to you.

2018

why do I write?

I write to express myself.
I write to create.
I write to discover.
I write because I can’t NOT do it.
I write because I enjoy writing.
I write to share a little bit about myself and to learn a lot about myself.
I write cause I’m inspired.
I write to inspire.
I write for me.
I write for you.
I write to feel better.
I write to purge.
I write to love.
I write because I love.
I write because I hate.
I write for all the times I could not speak.
I write to reflect. I write to relate.
I write to release.
I write to recognize.
I write to recharge.
I write to record.
I write to refrain.
I write to repair.
I write to return.
I write to revolt.
I write to revolve.
I write to remember. I write to forget. .
I write because it makes the loneliness feel less lonely.
I write because I learn from writing.
I write because it’s what keeps me from pulling the trigger too quickly.
I write because I want to write…
because I need to write and because I love to write.

why do you write?

thirty eight hours

and useless

her lonely mother

remained silent

resting on the shoulder

of her companion

the great sun and the heavens

now seemed artificial.

do we understand the power

of our instruments?

vanity of the vanities

sometimes tried to stand and walk

like us

a coat of magnetic mindlessness

the man with bad intent

playing us like the smallest violin

this feeling of emptiness

Is more alive than me

illusions all around us.

to soften the blow

between the operator

and the subjects

you found my energy

in the broken pulse of time

I pulsate with the angels

and then laugh at our farewell

I am a memory

you see… that

this

is the end.

-Kyoko Cole

2018

Everything was not

i see stars

and bible thumpers

bloom and gloom

like the sound

of the man

ready for doom

I put my spell on you

just like before

only now

I am dancing

on the moonlight floor

I can only run

(to you)

I can only hide

(from you)

if you

want me to leave

I will

I leave wounded

all the time

with my destination

out the door

where the stakes

are high

and time don’t end

a sweet choke

under faces

of light

hidden within smoke

and imaginary tales

of without any explanation

interested in this study

more here

then there

the absurd to defend

everyone corrupts

in movement

you rather abuse

than love again

the distance between

cause feelings we reject

already seated

i tried more to protect

myself

from what you see

in the mirror

that is me

another suicide

in the distant blue

i lie here

sweetly crushed

the pain of you

-kyoko cole

2018

Don’t act cool

Too cool for school

That’s alright

That’s pretty fucking cool

You fool

Cool guy

Why?

You gotta be so cool

Makes me sick

Makes me want to go home

Makes me want to go away

Makes me feel like high school

Mr cool.

Fuck that shit

I quit

Goodbye

Hahaha

Shit

Good night

At the end of the stars there is love

i'm lost and weird without you here. garden of sorrow.

by myself
crushed and flooded
by the fall of you

the moonlight
would laugh at me
if he could

I found sanity in the bottle
the wind catches a thought
with my heart in limbo

I must be lost
in a mess
of sadness

just like me
it was hiding
the song held out its hand

I still wonder why
you suffered so
and felt the weight
of my troubled soul

so many illusions break through
an honest man
without branches
is always
the first to go

the best we’ve had
I would run to you in a moment
my fantasies
make me hear your voice

at the center of the light
in darkness
i see you

at the end of the stars
there is love.

-kyoko cole
2018

Downtown turn

Head -on

Tail spin

Lose yourself

Then you begin

Again

And again

It seems like I’m always starting over

It seems like I’m always going backwards

In the race around the track

I get myself back

Or do I?

Maybe I’m just a little more tired

Tired of trying

Again and Again

-kyoko cole

2018

What I do

Shutter out

Bright

I sin

And then begin

Again

What else is there to do?

I have no clue.

A piece of me

A piece of you

Died Thursday morning

And I’m lost without

Turning corners

I find doubt

Mixed in with finding pieces of really awesome

Most beautiful people I have ever known

The best of people

Life has ever shown

But I fuck

I suck?

I drink my way back to gold

One of the saddest stories ever told

Is the one I hold

Goodnight another day goes by with out my friend

Will we ever meet again?

I really hope we do.

-kyoko cole

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