poem – skin loves fever

no feeling

shut it down
shut it off
shut it out
shut up
howl to the moon
and cry yourself to sleep
you’re in too deep
on the shallow side
you can run
and I’ll hide
didn’t anyone teach you
not to run with scissors in your hand
you try to walk on water
when you can barely crawl on land
you can kiss off
piss off
kick rocks
get lost
but lost is what you are
you can keep running
but you won’t get very far
what you fear
will always be near
but it won’t be me
that you see
it won’t be me
there is no we.

I don’t owe you anything
there’s nothing I am obligated to do
for you
I do not care
what you want
or how you feel
because nothing about you
is even real

not my problem
none of my concern
i light a match
detach
set it on fire
and let it burn
as I turn
and walk away
not ever looking back

it’s a new day
and I’m not
who I was
before

–

Listen to yourself

You know what you need

Listen to yourself

And feed

The starving parts of you

Before it’s too late

more alcohol please

weeded my garden
inside and out
organized my closet
got rid of half my clothes
i never wore
mopped all the hardwood floors
made some art
made some crafts
made a mess just to clean it up again
made my bed
and now….
i don’t know
people are weird
it’s not just the coronavirus that’s making this way
it’s our times
people are very selfish
and disconnected
we didn’t need this pandemic to social distance…
we do it regardless
we just don’t see it
cause we’re out and about
and being very social
being social doesn’t equal intimacy
just like sex doesn’t
it makes me a little sad
but it is what it is
and i’m happy to have dodge a bullet again
i’m not one to settle
don’t think i’ll start now

I don’t like oneway streets

Closed ears

Closed eyes

Closed heart

What a perfect start

To a new year

This isn’t my fault

I didn’t start this mess

But I’m the one who feels the stress

And disrespect

From you

If I only knew

But I did

I just didn’t listen to myself

When I should have

But

I listened to you

When I knew

This would happen again

And I’m not happy

You made me happy before

And now you just do everything that works against me

And I’m feeling pretty low

I can’t embrace

Your face

When it’s two

Instead of one

So there’s a reason I act the way I do

If you only knew

How it feels

You wouldn’t do half the things you do

But you do because you don’t

To make someone happy

You listen

You love

You care

To do things for someone

Or you don’t

And things fall apart

I’m falling apart

And I don’t like it

But I can’t get through to you

And I never will

Noise noise and more noise

I can read between the lines

I can read the language you don’t speak in words

The writing on the wall is very clear

If you wanted to

You would be

Here.

Big man

Little man

Where do you stand

Little boy

I wasn’t made

For you

to be your little toy

When you come down

If you ever really do

Blabber and smoke

Treating everything

Like it’s one big joke

Laugh it up

Laugh out loud

And while you’re at it

Act so proud

Who you trying to fool

Yourself?

Or the crowd?

Maybe both

In the sky above

On the ground below

Who you really are begins to show

And it hurts only cause I let you in

I’m pretty sure lying

Is a Cardinal sin

Where does the false you end

And the real you begin?

A happy poem for you

You are my love

You piss in my garden

And laugh about it

After it’s been done

You will always be the one

For me

You make me haaapppppyyyyyy.

On nights like this

I like to kiss

The sweetness of your smile

Oh please won’t you stay

With my awhile.

You can piss on my strawberries all you want 😉

It’s cold outside

this desire

bottles full of memories

I struggle with the world

without you love

substances find problems

your fear finds misunderstanding

your fear keeps you away

and there’s nothing I can do

to change that

time is an island

deserted and alone

afraid to be forgotten

trying to survive

why must the wind

be so harsh?

the fallen

leaves

dance

on.

abandon

walls.

suicide without being able

to die

you take the path

of habit

devils and wolves

hijacked you

and your love

it really doesn’t matter now…

does it?

impossible to

get through

to you.

you got what

you wanted.

me removed.

i give up

and turn away

And stay

That way

On the path that

No longer leads to you.

2018

thirty eight hours

and useless

her lonely mother

remained silent

resting on the shoulder

of her companion

the great sun and the heavens

now seemed artificial.

do we understand the power

of our instruments?

vanity of the vanities

sometimes tried to stand and walk

like us

a coat of magnetic mindlessness

the man with bad intent

playing us like the smallest violin

this feeling of emptiness

Is more alive than me

illusions all around us.

to soften the blow

between the operator

and the subjects

you found my energy

in the broken pulse of time

I pulsate with the angels

and then laugh at our farewell

I am a memory

you see… that

this

is the end.

-Kyoko Cole

2018

Everything was not

i see stars
and bible thumpers
bloom and gloom
like the sound
of the man
ready for doom
I put my spell on you
just like before
only now
I am dancing
on the moonlight floor

i see stars

and bible thumpers

bloom and gloom

like the sound

of the man

ready for doom

I put my spell on you

just like before

only now

I am dancing

on the moonlight floor

I can only run

(to you)

I can only hide

(from you)

if you

want me to leave

I will

I leave wounded

all the time

with my destination

out the door

where the stakes

are high

and time don’t end

a sweet choke

under faces

of light

hidden within smoke

and imaginary tales

of without any explanation

interested in this study

more here

then there

the absurd to defend

everyone corrupts

in movement

you rather abuse

than love again

the distance between

cause feelings we reject

already seated

i tried more to protect

myself

from what you see

in the mirror

that is me

another suicide

in the distant blue

i lie here

sweetly crushed

the pain of you

-kyoko cole

2018

Sing birds sing birds sing birds sing Get away

3am sounds

Of Birds and coyotes

I wish I could speak to them

I wish I could speak to you

Get through to you

But I’m starting to see

That’s never going to happen

I’ll probably make more progress with the birds and coyotes

And him

As he sits next to me on the patio

We listen to music

And talk

Like the coyotes and birds do

In Geneva no one can hear you scream

Time is a tick of the mind

Where we once belonged

Has gone far away

Today

And now

Black smoke

Beautiful losers

A shout in the street

Start to fade

All that we made

Is born to die

A brief history of time

Obsession

Old lovers

Under freeway balconies

Nude naked and stripped

Secrets behind smiles

The horse would know, but the horse can’t talk

Rhapsodies in black

Documenting disposable people

Disposers

Exposers

Ghost images

Ghost people

ghost world

Once Held together by water

But now Broken apart by man

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