Noise noise and more noise

I can read between the lines

I can read the language you don’t speak in words

The writing on the wall is very clear

If you wanted to

You would be

Here.

Big man

Little man

Where do you stand

Little boy

I wasn’t made

For you

to be your little toy

When you come down

If you ever really do

Blabber and smoke

Treating everything

Like it’s one big joke

Laugh it up

Laugh out loud

And while you’re at it

Act so proud

Who you trying to fool

Yourself?

Or the crowd?

Maybe both

In the sky above

On the ground below

Who you really are begins to show

And it hurts only cause I let you in

I’m pretty sure lying

Is a Cardinal sin

Where does the false you end

And the real you begin?

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Love notes & doodles I drew on a wall

I used to make things for the people I loved

Now I rarely do

Nothing inspires me to

These days

I drew silly pictures and

Wrote loving things

On his wall

All the things that were true

Because I wanted to

Only to find it

Painted over

Covered up

Scratched out

Like he did with me

Like he hated to see

Something

I did out of love

Like he hated me

I could never scratch out his name

His notes (he never wrote me)

His time (he rarely gave me)

The gifts (he didn’t make me)

He is not human

Nothing sticks to him

He can take my love

Throw it away

And then begin

Again somewhere else

How can that make me feel good?

To know I was all in

When he was never even close

He’s always been a lifetime away

So far away

Nothing gets through to you

It’s not all about me

It’s about you too

You live to destroy anything good that I give you

You never look at yourself.

Must be nice living that way

That’s not advanced

That’s pussy-ass shit

If you looked at your behavior even just half the times you’ve made me look at mine then maybe it would work…

But like I said you create problems that aren’t there

And you like to destroy shit that’s actually good.

So I have no more for you.

No more patience

No more understanding

No more chances

No more tolerance for you period

And no more love

I’m done

And you need to stay the fuck away from me. Period

You want to treat me like a bitch then i will be one.

Good riddance you stupid little man.

Chris

Now that you’re gone

I have no one by my side

To help me through

That person was always you

Now i feel the loneliness

Of being truly alone

You were the greatest friend

I have ever known

That this world has ever shown

I’m not alright

I’m not okay

Just take me back

To a better day

You were always there for me

And I’m so grateful for that

And for you

Until we meet again

I love you…

My sweet friend

Beer as cold as your ex’s heart

I will never understand how some people can be so cold.

To turn off

To love conditionally

To have such black and white thinking and feeling

To be cruel

To make up reasons why to hate

To criticize and put down

Yet be blind to everything that’s good

To completely ignore their own behavior

To make another person feel unwanted

Unimportant

Useless

So many people “love” that way

That’s not love.

That’s just selfishness mixed with a bitterness

You teach others through love

You can kill a man with disregard and neglect

And a mean spirit

Some people’s truth is whatever they were conditioned with from the time they were born

All they know is to pass that down to anyone and everyone they touch.

Yet they don’t see it.

Some people love to blame others or something false as a reason to take out their anger and pain on someone

Some people only know how to push the people that care about them away.

If all you know is the negative

If all you’ve seen and experienced is negative

You’re gonna end up looking for the negative in everyone else that comes along

I wish compassion played a higher role in mankind

I wish people thought about the lasting effects of their actions and behavior towards others

I wish people didn’t react to things they make up in their head

We are in this world

Hopefully to help one another

Not to harm someone who truly loves you

And definitely not to harm the ones who love you just because our past experiences and trauma makes you think that it’s okay to do.

It’s sad.

But there will always be people out there who just don’t know why better

And /or just don’t care to be better than what was done to them.

Is anyone out there like me?

It may be

That I don’t want to see

All the things I see

And maybe I don’t want to be

This person who is me

Who am I anyway?

Am I just what others say?

Or maybe just yesterday I meant something

To you

But not today

Today we’re through

maybe I don’t want to feel

Everything I thought was real

Perhaps you feel quite alright

With throwing me away tonight

With doing things that hurt me more

With all of me you choose to ignore

And maybe I don’t want to stay

Maybe I don’t want to play

This stupid game

this stupid me

Maybe I just want to be

Free

From living

This stupid life

Maybe I don’t want the strife

It hurts my heart

To have to defend

What most of you can’t comprehend

Or Maybe I just can’t

And don’t want to pretend

Maybe I just want the end

-kyoko cole

Balls deep you creep

You can play hard ball

Pool

Baseball

Balls in

Balls deep

But you keep that shit

Away from me

Icky

Sticky

Dicky

Fuck

Yuck

I would have never

Go back

To that

Place

With your face

That lies

Like it’s a sport

ABORT!!!

AND I’M OUT…..

(Mic drop)

Beso

Every kiss

That I miss

He does not

Miss at all

He built his wall

Between us

He does not call

He does not care

To have me there

With him

He doesn’t love me

Anymore

He shut the door

On me

If he could only see

Things from inside of my heart

But what’s the point?

He lied

He cheated

He treated me

Like shit

Worse than shit

Like nothing

Everyone else saw it

I held on to the good

That was just a lie

That’s why

I don’t even try

He’s a lost cause

It’s pointless now

To hold on to something

Or someone

Who cared so little

When I cared so much.

Not my Captain

under cover tears
and under cover fears
steers

the ship
without help

from me or you

under a moonless darkness
of questions

My heart weeps

while
your other lover sleeps
She rests without worry
without wonder

Without thought
As she takes
your heart and soul for a walk
in the streets of longing i seek
the things you shall never speak
not to me

ever
and never
when
i needed you to

an enigma is not that great
When it’s an empty full of hate
it has no soul
and has no control

but i’m not the one
who’s got you trapped
down in a hole
and calls it child support
but yet I am the one
who you abort
cause you’re old
cause you’re cold

the last sentence you saw
makes people shiver
the last sentence you saw
is running away
to a better day
a more passionate evening
stole all the goods

i have a trained assassin stay overnight
just in case
i’m caught up in a fight
i didn’t start
but i WILL end
when i send in
my ninja friend
to break
some knees
please
let the HEARTBREAKING lies
roll over us
like the warm summer breeze.
abstraction is often FIVE floorS above you
while
subtraction is a hundred floors below
that is something
you see in others
but in yourself
will never know

I don’t even try

Morning sun slips in

Through the blacks of My eyes

A second away from night

A moment away from sight

And many moons and days away from you

Feels like years now since we were we

I know you’ve moved on to worse things that make you feel better

At least for now

And I just move around in beds and in heads of others

To distract

I might seem okay to everyone else but it’s all just an act

A sad little act that maybe I’ll someday actually be

But the real me

Is a sad sight to see

inside I am empty

lonely

And lost

without you.

And there’s nothing I can do

Cause there’s no reason to

You gave me nothing

A million times left with no reply

Now nothing is all I got left

To give

So I don’t even try

In rooms alone it still makes me cry

I know the reason why

so i don’t even try

-kyoko cole 2018

To be ignored

to be ignored

By the person you truly love

Is the worst feeling in the world.

shame
artwork by kyoko cole 2017