heartbreak

Is anyone out there like me?

b-side junkie1 Comment

It may be

That I don’t want to see

All the things I see

And maybe I don’t want to be

This person who is me

Who am I anyway?

Am I just what others say?

Or maybe just yesterday I meant something

To you

But not today

Today we’re through

maybe I don’t want to feel

Everything I thought was real

Perhaps you feel quite alright

With throwing me away tonight

With doing things that hurt me more

With all of me you choose to ignore

And maybe I don’t want to stay

Maybe I don’t want to play

This stupid game

this stupid me

Maybe I just want to be

Free

From living

This stupid life

Maybe I don’t want the strife

It hurts my heart

To have to defend

What most of you can’t comprehend

Or Maybe I just can’t

And don’t want to pretend

Maybe I just want the end

-kyoko cole

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Balls deep you creep

b-side junkieLeave a comment

You can play hard ball

Pool

Baseball

Balls in

Balls deep

But you keep that shit

Away from me

Icky

Sticky

Dicky

Fuck

Yuck

I would have never

Go back

To that

Place

With your face

That lies

Like it’s a sport

ABORT!!!

AND I’M OUT…..

(Mic drop)

Beso

b-side junkieLeave a comment

Every kiss

That I miss

He does not

Miss at all

He built his wall

Between us

He does not call

He does not care

To have me there

With him

He doesn’t love me

Anymore

He shut the door

On me

If he could only see

Things from inside of my heart

But what’s the point?

He lied

He cheated

He treated me

Like shit

Worse than shit

Like nothing

Everyone else saw it

I held on to the good

That was just a lie

That’s why

I don’t even try

He’s a lost cause

It’s pointless now

To hold on to something

Or someone

Who cared so little

When I cared so much.

Not my Captain

b-side junkieLeave a comment

under cover tears
and under cover fears
steers

the ship
without help

from me or you

under a moonless darkness
of questions

My heart weeps

while
your other lover sleeps
She rests without worry
without wonder

Without thought
As she takes
your heart and soul for a walk
in the streets of longing i seek
the things you shall never speak
not to me

ever
and never
when
i needed you to

an enigma is not that great
When it’s an empty full of hate
it has no soul
and has no control

but i’m not the one
who’s got you trapped
down in a hole
and calls it child support
but yet I am the one
who you abort
cause you’re old
cause you’re cold

the last sentence you saw
makes people shiver
the last sentence you saw
is running away
to a better day
a more passionate evening
stole all the goods

i have a trained assassin stay overnight
just in case
i’m caught up in a fight
i didn’t start
but i WILL end
when i send in
my ninja friend
to break
some knees
please
let the HEARTBREAKING lies
roll over us
like the warm summer breeze.
abstraction is often FIVE floorS above you
while
subtraction is a hundred floors below
that is something
you see in others
but in yourself
will never know

I don’t even try

b-side junkie1 Comment

Morning sun slips in

Through the blacks of My eyes

A second away from night

A moment away from sight

And many moons and days away from you

Feels like years now since we were we

I know you’ve moved on to worse things that make you feel better

At least for now

And I just move around in beds and in heads of others

To distract

I might seem okay to everyone else but it’s all just an act

A sad little act that maybe I’ll someday actually be

But the real me

Is a sad sight to see

inside I am empty

lonely

And lost

without you.

And there’s nothing I can do

Cause there’s no reason to

You gave me nothing

A million times left with no reply

Now nothing is all I got left

To give

So I don’t even try

In rooms alone it still makes me cry

I know the reason why

so i don’t even try

-kyoko cole 2018

To be ignored

b-side junkie2 Comments

to be ignored

By the person you truly love

Is the worst feeling in the world.

shame
artwork by kyoko cole 2017

When I die

b-side junkieLeave a comment

When I Die

Lush

LYRICS

If you walked in now

I wouldn’t start I wouldn’t frown

And if you just appeared

I wouldn’t cry or think it weird

‘Cause you are still around

You’re in the air, you’re in the ground

And you can’t go away

I am afraid you’re here to stay

Friends don’t understand

They close the door, they raise their hands

She says she heard your voice

Of course she does, she has no choice

I was hours ahead

When they removed you from your bed

They drank all the while

Until you said goodbye

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

Why are we sitting here in ourselves?

I don’t look up, I don’t look down

I look ahead and make no sound

My love was there,

I only stare

Healty in my dreams

Is what you are, is what is seems

What does it all mean?

You’re only hiding behind a screen

Curse the English day

For what it forces us to say

Banish all the pain

‘Cause when I die, die

I’ll see you again.

Songwriters: Emma Victoria Jane Anderson

When I Die lyrics © BMG Rights Management US, LLC

You brought truth in a dream

b-side junkieLeave a comment

You told me the truth

In a dream last night

You showed me what I already had known was true

But to see you and her…

Right here

Right there

Made me aware

That I was never the one you really loved

You love her still and always will

And in my dream I felt my heart really break

I felt the child inside me ache

All I could do was cry

As I watched something I loved so much

Die

And then I awoke

With the tears

But no more fears

Cause I knew it was you

Cause I knew it was true

And because I knew this time it really was our last goodbye.

Low vibe mister

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Avoid

Avoid

A void

Is all you

It’s all you do

Anything that takes some work

makes you take off

sets you off

You have something to prove

The way you move

Shows an anger

That has built

Over time

the way you deal

Is by not dealing at all

one question leads you to war

there’s no way to even the score

With a narcissist like you

you can’t forgive

You can’t give love

You don’t have

You build up a false self

while the real you hides somewhere

collecting dust on a shelf

and it sucks being somebody who loves you

Cause you can’t change

If you think you’re perfect

In between the moon and you

b-side junkieLeave a comment

Everyone is happy

Happier without me.

I’m an illusion

Of what you want to see

At first you love me

Then I’m someone you hate

Don’t build me up

I’ll only let you down

I’m not someone great

Obviously….

I wish I was

I wish I had

I could wish my life away

Only to die

All alone someday

I see pictures of people

I used to know

They only come

To only go

Living lives

I wish I had

But it’s okay

It just makes me sad

Goodnight

Farewell

No more morning

For me

No mourning ever for you

To all the ones

Who I thought loved

But never knew

Diablo

b-side junkieLeave a comment

What a terrible thing

You call love

What a low

You call life

So many times I see

The Nothing behind your eyes

I won’t let myself disappear

From believing all your lies

And I don’t have to be as cold

As you

to keep myself alive

I don’t have to be as bold

As you

To prove I will survive

You can try

You can try

To spin me

in

your web of illusion

Your ties of confusion

You can stay down with your demons

You can stay dark with the night

You can stay hidden within the shadows

But you can’t take away my light

You can try

But you won’t take away my light

I won’t follow you down

Your rabbit hole

Of fables

Your flip switch

Turn of tables

I won’t chase you

I ain’t gonna race you

And I sure as hell won’t embrace you

At the cost

Of me

Getting lost

Just to find you

Running out the door

I won’t take any more

You love to make me wait

You love to use love as bait

To fake your way in

And make me believe you care

But baby

Better beware

it’s a trap

It’s all just a trap

And I ain’t yours no more