skin loves fever

Drunken me
Will talk to any of yous
What if I’m walking back to the bar
Right now
With a winning scratcher ticket in my hand
Oh, I wish
Ha
Goodbye money
Hello booze 🙂

Reformatories
Reform
For me
Tongs joyfully hide
Astride bazooka bombs
Of self destruction
Phoney possibilities
Trick the eyes and ears
And hopefully fool the heart
Roundabout elite.
The prance around
Dance around beat
Down down
Down
Going down to the fade
My heart frantic
And still
broken
Breaks-
The
Heart
beat -Down
Old Love traces
Fade out
With her that replaces
Me. 
Invalidating like squash
Trumps heads unannounced
Life untold without unfinished
Calmly fucking fast.
Calmly fucking down

You can’t say we are together
And then take it back
Without a great deal of hurt
And even though I miss you
I don’t miss that at all

skin and lips
fingertips
hard pressed
lines in groove
life prints
mark a move
 a fold faces  …
he traces my curves
and fingers the shot straight to my nerves
gun-shy children
in my eyes
lost, broken
blood stained face
three more shots struck down
around skies panic
whispers fade nine lives 
the clumsy and stupid
people’s souls, brain dead
reboot again
leaving notes for who knows who
childhood memories
i want to hold you
but what we seek
has been erased
Packets of sugar
Dust motes of vanishing hope
Pocket filled lint of Fate

 

 

Yeah

You make me smile
And
I like it
But I don’t know
Sigh.
This is the lamest post
I’ve ever written
And you are asleep
While I write this
Wanting to be next to you

Lame
🙂

look forward but i know in my heart 

not to look back towards you

for you are somewhere else

and your place 

makes no space 

for me 

i love something that only exists in my heart now

cause the way you show and hold and give then take

is whenever you please

like a tool

like a trap

that’s not a loving place for me

so i sit here and i  know that the only thing i can do 

is to let you go from my heart and let you remain 

wherever you stay that is safe

no matter what words you use 

no matter what you make yourself believe

you are set in your ways

which only keeps me further away from me 

to wait for you

or anyone who 

isn’t there

is a slow death

to believe what you say but do not show

is abandoning my heart

and myself

i let go 

i let go

of what i wanted with you 

to yearn for something or someone

who isn’t there and won’t be there  

is torture

when i let go 

i see what i wanted 

for what it really is  and what it really is not

it is not for me 

it is not what i need 

i open my eyes within and find truth

and find love and wisdom 

i can’t teach a blind man to see with his heart 

what he won’t allow himself see

i can’t make you be better for you

and you will never be better for me

it isn’t about me

what i wanted from you

i already have in and all around 

i let go 

of the old

and something new is found

 

 

 

I really love my grandmother and appreciate that she was there for the time that she was. And even though she isn’t here now I hope to see her in the after life.
My cats. I love my cats.

I LOVE a lot of people.
And the Beatles
And making art
And kisses
And hugs
And I don’t take any of that for granted
But some things just can’t be worked out

No matter how hard I try

But I love you
And I don’t want to share
You
Sexually
Lol
I want to share you in a beautiful way
Where all your goodness and wisdom can be shared with other people who can learn something and visa verse.
But I don’t want to share you
In the most intimate way
I don’t.
That’s something that I wasn’t too just share and know with you.
Until we are no longer
Than I just want you
And me
To be the only